Rachel stared at the doctor in shock. She could see his mouth moving, see her father's in her peripheral vision nodding occasionally, but she was no longer tracking the conversation. Severe and unexplainable renal failure. Failure. Her body was failing her. The reason she'd been so tired lately, why she couldn't endure a full ballet class or keep down a meal for the last four weeks, the constant pain in her lower back. All because her kidneys were dying.
"-going to need a transplant as both kidney's production rates are dropping at an alarming speed." Rachel's hearing returned suddenly, startling her. Tears pooled in her dark brown eyes, spilling over and sliding down pale cheeks. Her dad squeezed her hand. She smiled tremulously, very glad to have two parents who adored her.
"Are either of you her biological father?" The doctor's question filled her with horror. Her daddy shook his head silently.
"No, I'm adopted." Rachel's voice sounded strained, cracking on the "adopted". Rachel would be damned if she'd take a kidney from that woman; the same woman who had sent a boy to pretend to care for her. No, absolutely not. She'd rather die.
She thought absently, her mind trying to focus on something else if only briefly, that Noah would call her a drama queen if he had heard that last thought.
"Alright, well your name will go on the transplant list and until such time as a feasible donor is found, Rachel you'll require dialysis two to three times a week, to filter your blood. I'm going to schedule a surgery for next week, we need to remove your right kidney immediately, as it is decreasing in mass as it decomposes, which can cause some serious complications. I'm sorry Rachel, but it needs to be done." Rachel nodded, numb. She was going to lose her kidney. Possibly both, if the left one began to swell as well. She thought about the scars this highly invasive surgery would lead.
She thought about Noah, how they were just getting to the physical stage of their relationship. How she was going to be ugly and disfigured before he'd even seen her shirtless. The tears came harder. Her virginity seemed a stupid thing to be worried about in the face of her failing health, but she had just turned eighteen, sometimes rationality was still difficult to attain under the power of her emotions.
Her daddy pulled her into his arms, trying to find the words to reassure his daughter. But none would come. His princess was very sick. And there wasn't a single thing he or his husband could do to make her well again.
The doctor went on to explain the procedure he'd scheduled for Friday. It would be incredibly invasive, and Rachel would be in the hospital for just under two weeks recovering. After that, it would be months before she could do any serious physical exercise. There went New York and NYADA in the fall. It was already June, Graduation in just a few days, and Rachel would in going under the knife the day she was supposed to walk the stage. The irony of that little gem didn't escape her notice. Instead of being free, she was shackled by her body's betrayal.
Later on, at home, Rachel lay wedged in the corner of her bathroom, crying her eyes out into a towel, trying to hide her disappointment and overwhelming fear from her fathers. They had watched her walk upstairs, neither knowing what to say to wipe the desolate look off their only daughter's face. She'd shut her bedroom door quietly, then escaped to her bathroom and collapsed. She sat gasping and crying for what felt like hours, trying to comprehend how the life she had planned for herself could fall apart in so little time.
Her phone buzzed in her sweater pocket. She reached for it like a lifeline,
"U done yet? What doc say?" Noah's concern set the tears off again. He had wanted to know just as badly as the Berry's why Rachel had been so sick lately. He had even tried to come to the appointment with Rachel, but she'd wanted time to compose herself in case it was bad news. She was glad for her hindsight now, as she had no idea what to tell him.
They're relationship was still new. She didn't think it would hold up under the strain of her illness. They'd only been dating a month, getting together just before she started feeling poorly. A long time for Noah to be with a single person, but he'd seemed okay with it. But knowing the rough road she had ahead of her, and Noah's desperate longing to escape this tiny town, she knew their relationship would crumble under the stress. She loved him. More than anyone she'd ever been with, Finn included. In fact, she'd broken up with Finn when she realized she was picturing Noah while kissing Finn. Every time. What Rachel felt for Noah eclipsed the power of the sun; it overwhelmed her, and was the reason she'd gotten through the last four week without breaking down. He'd been her rock, encouraging her when she felt awful and a handful of times, carrying her home when she was so tired she couldn't walk.
It had been heaven. And it would all end.
It would end now, because her stupid body had failed her. Her kidneys are started to die, from the inside out, for no discernable reason. They just stopped functioning.
Her phone buzzed again.
"Satan says to call her" Rachel smiled. Dating Noah had come with the fringe benefit of Santana becoming Rachel's ally and then friend. The girl was blunt, obsessed with sex and foul mouthed, but she was loyal to Noah in a way Rachel would never understand and she knew him inside and out. If Noah did something Rachel didn't get, she went to Santana. The girl was a fountain of information. And dirty jokes. She loved to make Rachel blush. But she'd also punched a jock in the testicles for slushing "Puck's girl" and since then Rachel had been slushie free. Not even Noah had managed that. It seemed having the two most terrifying people at McKinley on your side helped.
But she couldn't bring herself to call either her boyfriend, her new friend or anyone else for that matter. She sent him a quick text saying she'd talk to him tomorrow and to not worry. Then she sat in the corner of her bathroom all night, never moving, until the sun rose the next morning.