Alone.

One word in my mind. Nobody was there. Everyone that deserves to live was dead. My only friends: gone.

I was alone.

Sitting in my small home, I accepted the pain of the full moon, locked in my bedroom. Nobody was there to keep me company, to be there for me.

I wished it had been me that died.

On Friday, the wake would happen. I, of course, would go, but I wouldn't go with anybody. Who did I have to go with? Sirius? He's in Azkaban.

I wished it had been me that was in Azkaban.

No. Sirius deserves Azkaban. He killed Peter, betrayed Lily and James. I didn't do anything of the sort.

Lycanthropy is worth imprisoning, though, is it not?

If I got the Dementor's Kiss, maybe I wouldn't hurt so bad. Maybe I could live in peace. Maybe if I turn myself in, they'd take me to Azkaban.

Then I think, what about the hardships my parents had to face, just to keep it a secret? My mum gave up the job she loved, teaching at a Muggle elementary school. and my dad got fired for losing too many days of work. They gave up their wealth to find a cure for me, to buy more potion ingredients that never worked right. They moved every time the neighbors got suspicious. Keeping a job, for them, was literally impossible.

No. I'm not turning myself in after all of that.

What can I do?

I think about Lily and James' little boy, Harry. I wonder where he is right now? Hopefully he got a good home where he can grow up peacefully, where he can be comforted over the loss of his parents and lead a normal life. Dumbledore wouldn't allow any less, I thought.

Voldemort is dead, gone forever, but the Death Eaters are scattered. I wondered how many had been caught, or how many had run off free. Had Snape escaped? I really didn't care, but some reason I hoped he had gotten caught. He was so nosy when we were in school, it drove me absolutely crazy and it actually hurt a little. Are my lies THAT unbelievable? I am a Marauder, I should expect more from myself.

I am a Marauder, I remembered. The last Marauder. What am I doing, sitting here moping around? I should be having adventures, pulling pranks, laughing and joking around with my friends.

What friends? I DID do that, and I still would. There is nobody to do that stuff with. If I did that by myself, I'd just be...

Alone