―I Am Dean―
"Dean? Sweetie?" Sam yells down the hall, searching for the young five year old.
Dean thinks he is being super sneaky. He is hiding in the cupboard under the stairs, trying to stifle his giggles. His daddy always seems to know when he is being sneaky, so he sometimes wonders if his daddy has mind-reading powers. His papa's not so clever, but daddy seems to have enough mind-reading power for the both of them. Daddy always catches him if he's done something wrong and sometimes, if he's done something really naughty, his Daddy will take away something he likes, like his squirrel plushie, for example. He hasn't done anything wrong this time, he's just playing hide and seek with his daddy, not that Daddy knows they are playing hide and seek yet.
"Dean?" His daddy says again, this time sounding more concerned.
He's smiling cheekily, peeking through the slats on the door, watching his daddy stride past into the kitchen.
"Dean, where are you honey?"
His daddy sounds a bit worried now. Normally, Dean comes running at the sound of his daddy's voice, but of course, they are playing hide and seek, so he won't let Daddy catch him.
"Sam?" That's Dean's papa. Dean can hear him coming down the stairs over his head and he pauses on the step right above Dean's head. "Is there something wrong?"
"I can't find Dean." His daddy replies nervously.
Through the slats, Dean can see him wringing his hands and he feels a bit bad about staying hidden now. He's worrying his daddy, but, no. He can't let Daddy see him or else he'll lose hide and seek!
"I'll help you look." Papa says, voice a little muffled from the carpet on the stairs.
"Thanks Cas." Daddy nods, biting his lip.
The two of them hurry away in opposite directions and the house goes very quiet. Too quiet, actually.
After five minutes of complete silence, Dean decides he's done with this game. It's boring to be by himself and he can't hear Papa or Daddy.
A scary thought slips it's way into his mind: what if they never come back? What if they leave Dean here alone, all by himself forever? Maybe they've already forgotten they were looking for him.
"Daddy?" Dean tries in a small voice, slipping out of the cupboard and stumbling into the kitchen.
There's no one there. Dean feels tears swell in his eyes and he lets them fall without a sob.
"Papa?" He tries again, a little louder this time as he wobbles through the kitchen and into the dinning room, which is just as quiet.
He balls his fists and rubs at the tears that just don't stop. A little sob finally works it's way up his throat and escapes, seeming to trigger the rest of them, which are louder and uglier.
"Daddy!" He wails, stumbling through the house, from the dinning room into the formal living room and back into the hall.
"Daddy wher'you!" He cries, diction somewhat obscured by the sobs that burst out at an increasingly alarming rate.
He wishes he'd never played hide and seek now, it's a horrible game and his Daddy and his Papa are gone and he can't find them anywhere. He doesn't like to be left all alone, it's scary and everything is terrifying and frightening. Normally, climbing the stairs is fun, but right now they seem like nothing more than an obstacle in his search for his daddies.
Dean sinks onto the bottom step and curls up into a ball against the wall, sobbing into his knees. The stairs are just too exhausting for him to manage on his own.
The house remains quiet for another two minutes before Dean hears the back door open, followed by the low sounds of two concerned parents. Immediately, he lifts his head and swings his feet onto the floor, running as fast as his little feet will carry him and barrelling head first into his Daddy's legs.
"Dean!" His daddy squeaks with surprise, finding a small barnacle-human suddenly attached to him.
Dean clings to his daddy's legs for dear life, the loud and ugly sobs only getting worse as he presses his face into the pant leg, staining it with tears.
"Sweetheart," his Daddy kneels on the floor, forcing Dean to detach himself from his daddy's trousers. "Your Papa and I were so worried about you! Where were you?"
Dean doesn't answer right away, the crying obstructing any words he tries to make; they all come out as hiccuping sobs. His Daddy doesn't press him though, he pulls him into a hug and Dean couldn't have been more grateful in that moment to fling his arms around his daddy's neck and bury his face into his shoulder.
His daddy picks him up in his two strong arms and the trio walk into the lounge-slash-playroom where Daddy deposits himself, with Dean, onto the couch, followed by Papa, who looks on with concern but also with a hint of relief.
They sit for a long while as Dean does nothing but cry himself out, aided by the comforting circles his Daddy is rubbing on his back.
When the tears finally subside it is, oddly enough, Dean who speaks first, voice muffled from his face being pressed into his Daddy's neck.
"I'm sorry, Daddy."
"For what, Dean?"
Dean hesitates, but he can't stop the words from eventually spilling out.
"I… I was hiding. That's why you couldn't find me."
He bites his lip, pulling away from the crook of Daddy's neck in order to examine his reaction.
"You were hiding?"
"Yeah. We were playing hide and seek," he says, letting out a little sniffle, "but I didn't tell you…"
"We were playing hide and seek? You and I?" His daddy questions, confusion still lingering.
Dean hums an affirmation and gives a short nod, worry starting to creep up his spine.
Was his Daddy going to be mad at him? He hoped not, but he was unsure. He hadn't meant to scare his daddy and he certainly hadn't meant for them to leave him all alone.
"Well," it is his papa who speaks up this time, voice clipped. "Dean, you know you were naughty, hiding from your Daddy and me, don't you?"
He lets out another sniffle, wide-eyed as he looks and listens to his papa intently, nodding simultaneously.
"Yes." He whispers, fighting the urge to bury his face back into the crook of his daddy's shoulder.
His Papa might be mad at him too, he doesn't like that idea either. Papa is scarier than Daddy when he gets mad. Papa goes quieter when he gets angry, whereas Daddy just gets loud. Personally, Dean prefers a mad Daddy over a mad Papa because at least he knows when his daddy is angry with him. With Papa, it's sometimes hard to tell.
"And you won't do it again, will you?" Papa asks him, eyes narrowing a little.
"No, Papa. I won't." He whispers, shaking his head emphatically and clutching his Daddy's shirt tighter.
"Well, so long as you understand." His papa says, accompanied by a curt nod.
Dean really can't tell if his papa is angry at him, and it worries him a lot. He clutches fistfuls of his daddy's shirt in his tiny hands, not noticing the start-up of new tears falling at first.
"Hey, hey," Daddy resumes rubbing circles on his back, noticing immediately the tears that are falling. "Why're you crying, pumpkin? Everything is okay now."
Dean can't resist rubbing at his eyes. He's trying to be brave, but he's so scared now because what if Papa stays mad at him? He can't let Papa know he's not really that brave, so he tries to suck it up, but Daddy's coddling isn't helping any.
"Dean?" His daddy presses when Dean doesn't answer.
He takes his hands off his daddy's shirt and lowers them into his lap, eyes following them. He fiddles with them a little.
"Papa's mad at me." He finally whispers.
It's not much, but it's enough for the barrier to burst, letting out another cascade of tears that stream down his face.
Daddy combs his hands through Dean's hair and comforts him. He's about to speak, but Papa beats him to the punch.
"I'm not mad at you anymore, Dean." He says, tone much softened from before. "I believe you learned your lesson and I know you won't do that again."
Dean looks up with a sliver of hope in his eyes.
"You're not mad at me?" He asks, hopefully.
"No." His Papa assures, giving him a gentle, reassuring smile.
Dean nearly launches himself at his Papa, flinging himself off his Daddy's lap. His Papa catches him easily and Dean clings to him like a starfish whilst his papa hugs him back.
"I'm really sorry, Papa." He apologises again, for good measure. He hopes Papa's being honest because he doesn't want Papa to be mad at him.
"I know you are, Dean." He replies, pulling Daddy into their hug.
Daddy rests his head against Papa's shoulder and Dean grabs a handful of Daddy's shirt, a comfort to reassure himself that his daddies aren't going anywhere.
It's like this, curled up on Papa's lap with Daddy beside them, that Dean conks out. Obliviously happy and surrounded by love.
~END