Prompt – Thanksgiving dinner with long lost "Cousins" Who aren't actually related to you
"Okay mr. hotdog. Meet your long lost cousins…. Ms. Burger and ms. French-fries."
My butler opened the door to reveal a huge BURGER AND FRENCH FRIES. OKAY STOP NOW BUTLER. STOP. STOP.
They actually think I'm related to them but I'm not as dumb as they wanted so I know I'm not related to giant food. Ok butler I'm not an idiot so stop.
I run away from them and frolic in the flowers.
"TIPTOE THROUGH THE WINDOW BY THE WINDOW! TIPTOE THROUGH THE TULIPS WITH MEEEEEE."
I sing around and flop down and die because I'm not athletic at all and oh dear lord this sucks.
I eat the tulips and become a cow. My food cousins turned into flowers so I ate them because I am a cow. Moo. Moo. Cow's cant type so how am I typing this? Well it's because I'm a crazed baboon in a cow suit.
I burst out of the cow suit and go into thanksgiving dinner. I am a crazed baboon so I poop in the punch and pee on the guests. Then I go to sleep on the cough because I am tired after being a crazed baboon.
The next day I did the same thing again cause I felt like it. (Normal - me )
Well like, the day after that thing I decide to. fight.
the moon.
for my quest I needed some help because it is common knowledge that you cannot fight the moon alone.
so I gathered up the greatest teeam the world had ever seen:
potatoeee
shreki e heckie
bread
peep
tween magazine man
and the meme police.
*intense spy action music plays*
yes yes and after I gather up my syuper cool action team ewea all stand outside shouting at the moon. We were doing very well in our quest to fight the moon when a dramatic turn of events occurred…the meme police were working against us all along adb we all got arrested for illegal distribution of memes like the horrible people we were now it was time for….court
The meme police found me guilty for illegal I was transferred to jail they put me into a cell with a gir-BUTTER who stared at me. "HELlo Ma'm my name is cow but you can call me cow"I said and stared at her as rage filled her face. " OMG YOU OPRESSING ME IM A BUTTERKIN AND I PREFER BUTTERSELF PRONOUNS Stop oPRRESION OMZ!" she yelled as she began breaking open packets of butter and had started smearing butter all over her as an attempt to be more buttery. " Ah yes well nice to meet you butter…." I said waiting for another outrage staring fearfully at the butter packets. " Oh so now youre nice OMZ STOP OPPRESSING!" She yelled once more and threw a butter packet at me. " Look im just trying-" I began " OPRESSOR" she yelled. Suddenly she ran over to her mat layed down and went to sleep. Deciding that I was done socializing for the day I went over to my mat and threw off a piece of butter from my bed and layed down. (Bold - Julie)
"Great." I sat down at the table and poked at my mashed potatoes. Well, they weren't even mashed potatoes-more like sorry excuses for mashed potatoes rolled in baby food, cow crap, and cement. Or, at least, that's how my father's mashed potatoes tasted. And smelled. Although I wouldn't know what baby food tastes like. I don't remember the taste from when I was a baby. Can't say as much for the other two. Shh. "Mashed potatoes! Thanks, Dad."
"You're welcome, honey." He grinned at the two girls sitting across from me, wearing identical disgusted expressions as they stared down at their plates. "I made it specially for our reunion!"
I curled my lip as I stared at my 'cousins' across the table. They were nothing like me; petite, thin, with silky blond locks and big blue eyes, they differed from me in every way. While they were proud and haughty, I was humble and had low-as-hell self-esteem. While they spoke mostly in synchronization, I hated synchronization and it made me feel sick. And while both of them had awful, nasal, high, snotty whitegirl voices, my voice was low and scratchy and, in my opinion and nobody else's, much nicer to hear than theirs.
"What is this stuff made of?" one of the twins-Angelica, I think it was-asked. "Baby food and cow manure?" Pretty close there, Angelica.
"This is so gross-looking," the other twin, Pearl, snorted. "Ugh, you're the worst cook ever. And you're really ugly." She made an awful, sneering face at my dad, and my hands wrapped themselves into fists under the table.
"Yeah. I don't want this. I don't wanna have to pretend that you're my cousin," Angelica snarled, dumping the mashed potatoes onto the floor and glaring at me. "You're nowhere near as pretty as I am-how would we look hanging around with you in school?"
"Like we had some little slobbering six-year-old to cart around campus with us," snickered Pearl.
"You shut your mouths," I snapped at them, rising out of my chair before I even knew I'd done so. "You shut your ugly lipsticky mouths right now."
"Honey," my father told me sharply, but I waved him away. "They've just sat down and they're already insulting us both." I turned to the twins, who wore identical haughty expressions again. "You don't want to be here? Fine. There's a nice rainstorm brewing for tonight, I hear. You don't want to stay in this house, we'll kick you out. See if anyone picks up a pair of drowned-rat meangirls on the street tonight."
"I could knock your teeth out for that," Angelina cried, in a girlishly threatening voice that was the nail on the coffin of any possible fear I had of these two airheads.
"Yeah, right." I snatched my fork up from next to my plate and pointed it at her. "Say another word and I'll stick this right in your eye."
"Ha! As if you could." I was pleased to hear a note of fear in Angelica's voice, however.
"Oh, you asked for it." I threw the fork. (Italics - Naira)
then every buty dieed the end .:3 (Bold & Underlined - Alex )