One Shot \\ Doomed \\ WICELA
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series nor everything that comes with it. The rights go to J.K. Rowling. The only thing I own is the holes in her stories that I filled with my fantasies.
"I'm…I'm in love with him." Albus stuttered.
"I think," he added quickly.
"And you're aware of this since…?" Rose asked, watching him with pity. She probably wondered how he got himself in such a prediction.
"I don't know. I mean: it's weird and…I think it was him who…let me discover that I'm…gay," he looked down, almost ashamed of himself.
"And he knows that?" Her firing questions never stopped, Albus knew, but it was helping him to tell his story.
"He knows I'm gay, of course he knows that. But that I'm in love with him? No…no he doesn't know that." Albus stuttered through the entire conversation. It was incredibly awkward from the minute he decided to tell her.
"And how did you discover you're in love with him?" Rose asked. Yeah, that was the tricky question, wasn't it?
"Like I said, it was him. And you of course. It was mostly because I had to tell you the nice parts about him, you know? To let you realize that he isn't that bad. To let you to be friends!" Albus almost cried out of frustration. He had tried like forever to show them how much fun the both of them were, but it had ended into a competition.
"The irony is that I liked him better and better and you hated him more and more," Albus said, his voice breaking. Rose stood up and hugged her cousin.
"That's not fair Al, I do like him now. I bit," she tried to convince him. Albus smiled for a sec, but threw his hands in the air.
"But it's so doomed, you know! I mean: first I didn't got why Scorpius and you hated each other — and I must say, I still don't understand your hate towards Scorpius, — but his reason was so clear as day and then…I think that was the moment. The moment he said he was in love with someone — a girl — and he was so hurt when he admitted it and I…it hurt. Okay, it hurt. It hurts so much," as he said it, the tears fell down. It all hurt. The fact that he was gay. The fact that he couldn't tell his parents about it. The fact he'd been falling for his best friend of all people and Rose didn't even understand half the story he just told her.
"So go, Rose, and give him his chance, because I can't bare to see him suffering. I would rather see him together with his bird than see him unhappy," he said. His secret was out and everything was just so messed up, he wanted to reveal everyone's secret.
"What has this to do with me, Al?" Rose asked. It was a good question, but Albus was done talking about it.
"You're so smart, Rosie, I think you can solve this riddle yourself," he answered thereby, but Rose looked at him and she shook her head.
"That's not possible Al, that's absolutely NOT possible. We hate each other! We despite each other and…and…and he doesn't even KNOW me! How can he tell you that…how DARE he!" She said. He knew that she had suspected it for quite some time, but never really accepted it. It made Albus mad to think about the fact that Rose despited him so much. That would ruin Scorpius and him thereby much more.
"How dare YOU, Rosie? I can see it in your eyes too, you know! You told me just a second ago that you do like him, why deny it now? He does know you and you know him too. You know the things he likes so you can decide how to hurt him. And he dared. He did, but you don't. You just…deny it and walk away."
The open wound inside of her was infecting again. Albus had pushed to far and finally Rose understood what he was talking about. She had cleared it up in her head, so she wouldn't think of it every moment, but it was still there.
"I only deny that he can be nice sometimes, to prevent myself from the pain. You know how he is. I let him in that one time and he completely ruined me, Al. So okay, perhaps we do know each other from that one-week-thing, but don't use it as an excuse for me to say I'm a coward. I'm not, Al, I'm not a coward! I don't want to get hurt, that's all," Rose answered slowly. They were both sitting on his bed in the Slytherin dungeons.
"He's changed, you know," Albus said, being calmer too.
"In a year? I doubt it. The number of his worshipers only got bigger and bigger after that week. That's a really good way of showing that I can trust him," Rose said with some sarcasm.
"It's not." Albus and Rose looked up and there he stood. Scorpius. Rose immediately left Albus bed and walked out of the room.
"I'm done here, really," she muttered angry, but a strong grip stopped her.
"No, you're not," Scorpius said. Rose sighted and stood still.
"Well, I leave you two too it, then," Albus walked away and smiled bravely to her. It wasn't necessary for him to be brave, Rose thought. This wouldn't work out anyways.
"What's with him?" Scorpius said, in a different voice. He didn't concentrate on the awkward situation and didn't act like it was awkward, anymore.
"Love…" Rose answered. How ironic could it be?
"Well, if the bloke doesn't like him he's probably straight or dumb," Scorpius said and Rose grinned, because despite everything, the situation could actually become more ironic. Besides, he told the truth.
"Why is it so funny?" He asked, thinking she was laughing at him.
"Just…you're just…eh…it's true, what you said," she stuttered. He gave her his extremely handsome so-you-actually-admit-I-am-right smile.
"So he's straight?" Scorpius assumed.
"Nah, dumb is more like it," she laughed, while Rose felt satisfied with herself. This was something she couldn't share with him and when he discovered, that she wasn't going to say anything else about Albus, his glance changed.
"Rose, I…" He tried.
"Don't 'Rose' me, Malfoy and I was right earlier. I really am done here," she said, trying not to think about the knives he was trowing into her heart.
"You know, you don't even give me a chance to apologize!" He exclaimed.
"What is there to say sorry for? 'Sorry that I cheated on you the day after I exposed my undying love for you?' 'Sorry, but that chick was just way much hotter than you?' 'Sorry, but it wasn't really my fault?' Believe me, I've heard the stories. I don't need your sorry-ass apology. You made your decision and now it's my time to make a decision and it contains the words Fuck Off," she almost shouted. She could walk away any minute and her feet were already at the door.
"WHAT DID YOU THINK OF, THAT I'M INSECURE, TOO?" Scorpius shouted back. Rose turned around and walked at him angrily.
"Oh? You're insecure too, now, aren't you? Insecure of what, exactly?" Rose knew that she shouldn't give him this chance to explain himself. She made herself quite clear earlier, but she let him ruin her, over and over again. His face was a mixture of anger and…it seemed to be despair. It was the face Rose hated the most. After he hurt her, she hurt him too. Of course, it was only fair, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt her. Scorpius was trying to calm down, she saw. He breathed in and out and seemed to think by every breath.
"Of you. Of the approval of our parents. Of everything," he answered finally. Meaning it, Rose could tell, but she was still too angry to let him go off with that.
"You could have said that to me. We could've talked about it!" She said frustrated. Why didn't he trust her? Why did he run off with someone else?
"And what would you have said? 'Yes, my father will indeed kill you, because he still hates your father?' Really comforting," Scorpius hissed.
"I would have told you, that my father's opinion wouldn't matter to me and he would need time. If I really loved you that much, I would give everything up just to be with you," Rose admitted. The words were already out of her mouth, before she realized what she'd said. Scorpius watched her with surprise. He was even more surprised than she was.
"Do you mean that?" He said tenderly and Rose — who was about to snap — looked him finally in the eyes.
"Of course I would," she answered. Realizing, that after everything that happened, this was still the truth. She wasn't over him. Rose breathed in and out and with that rhythm, she realized, he still cheated.
"Why did you do it exactly?" She asked, calmly now. The pain was filling her body and she couldn't hold herself anymore. She needed to know the truth.
"Because I realized, we were already a dead end. She saw me there and I wasn't there with my head. It was just in the evening, when the rumors were about to reach you, and you asked me if it was true, that I realized what I had done," he admitted. His whole body faced the ground. He obviously didn't want to go through it all again. She just nodded and smiled weakly.
"Can't say I would do the same, but I do understand. You were a big mess that whole day, I must admit," she said. Albus had told her Scorpius had been weak. Instead of facing all those stuff, he decided to deny and outrun it. She laughed in herself. They were teenagers. Of course they didn't know how to handle this serious business.
"You don't hate me?" Scorpius asked.
"Not anymore. Merlin, I have had all the phases already. Hurt, angry, hating, denying, forgetting, et cetera," Rose laughed.
"In which stage where you before you were talking to Al?" He asked her, making her serious again.
"Numb, mostly," she admitted.
"Why were you two even talking about…what happened?" He smiled silly and turned a bit red. All of those questions, he couldn't help himself.
"Al brought it up," Rose said quickly, but didn't want to go into anything. Scorpius nodded and Rose sighted.
"So I'm the dumb one, amn't I?" He concluded. Of course he knew. It was his best friend, for Merlin's sake.
"Dumb and straight, yes," Rose grinned. Scorpius smiled a bit weird, but it was a smile.
"Yeah, well, I suspected it…" he began, but never decided to finish that sentence.
"What are you going to do about it?" Rose asked, when he didn't say anything.
"Nothing…and…he told you? I mean, only just a few seconds ago?" He asked surprised, as if Albus should've told her ages ago. Which he probably should've, because Scorpius wasn't the only one who suspected it.
"Yeah…and in the end, we started talking about me and you. Awkward," Rose added, moving her feet.
"What did he think about it?" Scorpius said, ignoring that they were back to awkward again.
"Well, really pushing me to forgive you…" Rose started, but sighted at the end.
"And?" Scorpius urged her.
"And perhaps I'm considering it?" Rose answered, looking at the ground.
"Ah," was Scorpius's awkward response. It was a happy response, though, but still a bit awkward. Rose smiled softly at him and gave him a kiss on the peek.
"I'm glad we can talk…at least," Scorpius said. Rose nodded and walked out of the dormitories.
"Wait! Rose?" She turned around and their lips met. It was soft and sweet.
"I've missed you."