A/N: This is set after Mockingjay.
Healing
It was just like any other day. Katniss' life felt like a routine to her now.
She still woke up with nightmares. Always waking up, yelling for someone to run or watch out or even watching the death of someone for the second time. She still had the nightmare about her Father, the one she had even before the games. Sometimes she would still dream about Peeta and her in the arena. Or about the mutts even. Those dreams were now joined by Prim, her sister's death, flashing back into her mind, constantly reminding her of the pain.
What made it worse is that she woke up to nobody. No strong arms wrapped around her and lips kissing her gently, no soothing words telling her things would be okay. Her screams just echoed around her.
She would go down into her living room, still with her Mother's and Prim's stuff where it was left before the bombing. Katniss knew it would help her if she moved it somewhere safe but out of sight. She just didn't have enough strength to do so.
On a small circular table, there was a stack of letters, constantly growing. Some from her Mother, some from Gale, and some from people she met in District Thirteen. All unanswered.
Her phone would ring, but she never picked it up. She never listened to the messages.
Over her fireplace were pictures. Some were of Prim, some were of her, and some had her whole family in them. She tried not to look at Prim, not wanting to bring on a new set of tears. Sometimes she couldn't help it though.
Greasy Sae would come over to make sure Katniss was fed. Peeta would come over with fresh bread.
Greasy Sae would try to encourage her to respond to Gale. She just couldn't though. But how could she? She knows that there is a chance he didn't kill Prim. There is a chance he did though.
Whenever she sees him in pictures or even thinks of him, it reminds her of that. So speaking to Gale is out of the question even though part of her wants to. It would just be too soon. He must understand that. It's why he moved to District Two in the first place.
Then there was a time she could rely on Peeta for her comfort; to listen to her and try to make her feel better. Comfort her from her nightmares. He had problems of his own right now though. Things he himself had to heal from. Their relationship was strained, more than it ever has been.
Haymitch tries to help too, but there's only so much he can do.
People tell her she should call her Mother, to talk to her, but she doesn't see the point. There both in pain. Her Mother couldn't even stay in the District because of the hurt.
It's the same thing every day. Eat, cry, and sit in silence. She would sometimes see Dr. Aurelius and sometimes she would work on the book to remember all the lives that were lost.
Sometimes she feels like she isn't in her body. It just responds when it needs to.
She feels like a piece of broken glass. She felt like she was shattered, unrepairable, scattered all around. Sometimes she cries so much or screams so much and so loudly that she can't cry anymore. She can't say anything, like an avox, like she's lost her voice.
Every day is like a new battle. Trying to survive another day of heartbreak and pain and horrible memories is hard to do on a daily basis. She wants to just give up at times but she knows she can't. It would hurt her Mother and Peeta and few others. She didn't go through everything she has to just accept defeat.
She knows that this will pass, that it's only temporary, but it doesn't feel that way. She feels like she will never get better, like she will be alone for the rest of her life, that all of her battles are lost. And there is no way she can come back and win them.
She knew she has what it takes to become strong again. It was just a matter of finding it.
After many lost days, things got better. She started talking more, even when she wasn't asked a question. She felt a slight spark inside of her like she was ready to fight again. When day's started to have meaning again, it shocked her.
She knew it wasn't going to be easy to heal. That it could take months to be herself again, without crying over the things that hurt her. She knew it was possible.
It helped that she had Peeta though. It helped that he was becoming more and more like the real him every day. He could give her extra comfort, something she's needed.
Maybe it was too soon to talk about the past, or to talk to Gale. She knew she just needed to start building on the here and now.
It wasn't going to be easy, she already knew it. When was being the Mockingjay ever easy? When was the Hunger Games ever easy? When was trying to take care of her family ever easy?
It wasn't. So that's how she knew that somehow, someway, she could overcome this. She could once again be strong.
A/N: Review!
*Thanks to TeamPeeta25, Platypus With A Fez, xLauraElizabeth, and bubbleboo28 for reviewing the story!*