Hurt.
That's how she felt when Olivia Pope disappeared from her life. There were so many emotions that made her wonder why the woman who saved her would ever leave her, especially when she needed the support.
Harrison had died, and she needed Olivia to tell her that things would be fine, that nothing would happen to her. Olivia was the one she went to when things had went downhill, and she didn't know what to do.
Her safety and reassurance was taken from her the moment that she heard that Olivia's phone had been disconnected. She thought of so many things could have happened to the woman she cared about so much and would do anything for.
For her to only find out that she had went out of the country with her boyfriend months later, without telling her or anyone hurt her more than she could explain. The hurt that she had felt from Olivia leaving without even muttering a word to her or leaving a clue as to where she was filled Abby with so much anger, she didn't know what to do.
After a month of looking for her, she realized that she had to move on from looking for someone who either didn't want to be found or couldn't be found. She made the arrangements for Harrison's funeral on her own and decided that everything else from now on had to be dealt with on her own.
As much as she wanted to keep Olivia's business up and running, she knew that she couldn't produce the funds to keep it functioning. She had to find something else to do because everything that she knew was falling apart and crumbling to the ground at a rapid pace that she wasn't prepared to deal with.
Moving on was the next step, she had to find a new career. She could easily get hired at a cheap law firm if she was desperate, but she knew that she was better than that.
One particular opportunity came forward to her when the White House kept requesting Olivia Pope to assist them in the crisis that kept occurring after Jerry's death. Since Olivia showed no signs of returning anytime soon, Abby had offered her help to the White House.
After so many times of helping the political situations that surrounded the White House, they offered her to be their Press Secretary. It was something that Abby didn't have to think twice about accepting because she needed something stable to hold onto, and this was the best thing for her at that moment.
Being in that position, it made her miss Olivia even with all the anger that was racing through her veins.
When Olivia returned, she felt even more anger when she learned that Olivia left them behind so she could run off with her boyfriend. There were so many nights where Abby worried where she was, if she was still alive, and if she'd ever come back.
She wanted to believe that something had happened to Olivia, that the woman she trusted with every part of her would not be so selfish as to leave her whole team behind, with no sign of where she could have gone.
Abby was hurt and angry that the truth was she was wrong about Olivia, that the person she loved did not care about her as much as she had claimed to. It proved to Abby that Olivia would always put herself first.
What upset Abby most was that when she went to attack Olivia about turning David into a poisonous person, she couldn't keep herself from caring about her friend. Nothing could stop her from caring about her, especially not when she saw the fragile state she was in when Abby came in. Even with all the anger she felt towards Olivia she could not be the one that hurt her in the same way that Olivia did her.
Even though they weren't on speaking terms, Olivia's presence in the same city made Abby feel safe again. Abby knew that even if Olivia came to resent her, she'd still be the first person that she'd call, she knew that she'd still be the person she could count on.
Abby knew when she heard that one of the men that Olivia loved had betrayed her, she was going to be there for her no matter how angry she was with her. She could not let the woman experience any pain after everything that she had done for her, she realized that she cared too much about her to let her face it alone.
She remembered that Olivia was there every step of the way for her divorce, she relieved so much of the stress that she was under. She let Abby sleep in her guest room, found her a new place and helped her pay for it until she was stable again.
When Abby had nightmares of Charles coming back, Olivia stayed with her until she could fall back asleep. She was the person that she felt safest with, and the only one she could fully trust to protect her when she revealed the horror of her marriage.
Charles had come back into Abby's life, into the White House to run as senator where she would have to face him again. Even with all her anger for the woman, she turned to Olivia; she was the only one who would know how to keep her safe, away from Chip.
She had come to the realization that Olivia was her savior, the one she would do anything for. Even with the resentment of being left by the woman, she would go over a cliff for her with everything she had done for her.
Her love Olivia was stronger than she'd ever felt for anyone, she would not risk her job in the White House to go through the flash drive on the President's desk for just anyone.
Abby was afraid that Olivia left her again, but she knew with the chance of Chip coming back and hurting her, Olivia wouldn't. Something had to be wrong, her concern for her friend got the better of her and she took the flash drive off of the President's desk because if anyone would know where she was, it would be him.
What she wasn't prepared for was seeing the contents on the flash drive.
Olivia was holding up a newspaper, directed at the President to declare war, to ensure her safety.
Tears fell down her cheeks as she watched it and she couldn't help but look at the fear evident on her friend's face.
Even with three fractured ribs and a broken jaw, Abby felt more pain in that moment than she had in all her life at the thought of losing Olivia Pope.