Her eyelids are drooping, her head rolling, and her shoulders slumped. These forty three hours of sleep deprivation have given her nothing- no clarity, no ideas, no help, no reasoning.

Nothing.

Nothing but memories. Nothing but lies. Nothing but pain. She's felt enough pain. The thoughts are so dull in her mind now- the evil words are floating away and she thinks sleep might be kind enough to finally pay her a visit.

But it isn't.

The floorboard creaks ever so slightly, echoing around the empty room and causing Narcissa to flinch as she is once again reminded of the emptiness. The emptiness of the room, the house, her mind…her heart.

She doesn't want to believe it- that she's finally giving in, but she is. There was a time when she felt she was invincible, untouchable, unbreakable, that nothing could hurt her and nothing could stop her.

But now the pain is seeping into her skull and clawing it apart, oozing into her heart and slowly turning it black.

Nothing has caused this but her own wreckless actions.

She loves another man. She loves two men. What is she? A common whore? She swallows back heaves as the disgust in herself becomes overwhelming, and slams her head against the wall in an attempt to make her thoughts coherent.

Pain. Pain shoots through her and she likes it, eventually it's just throbbing and ebbing and her familiar friend is back to play- her only friend.

She hoped the emptiness of the room would give her more chance of clarity. It doesn't. All it shows her is how hollow her life is- the ugly truth that she had refused to face.

Wind rushes in from underneath the door, it whispers and rushes and seeps through her every fiber. She is cold. She wants to scream. She wants to be the wind.

Too exhausted to think, to move, to do anything, she once again slumps back against the peeling grey wall, preying for sleep, unconsciousness, death, anything to dull the pain she's feeling for betraying her husband.

A soft knock at the door brings her out of her dream like state, and Narcissa squeezes her eyes shut, pretending she isn't here- wishing she isn't here. She keeps her breaths shallow out of nervousness, and hoping he'll think she's not here.

Please don't come in, please. Please don't. She's too exhausted to shrink into the wall, to recoil and shy away.

Another knock, and the heavy door creaks open. The man she's been married to for many years stands in front of her- black rings encircling his eyes, lank hair, worry lines marring his face. No one is the same anymore, she decides.

She blinks rapidly, pretending he's not there, pretending she doesn't have to face this, pretending she hasn't committed the ultimate betrayal. Blood rushes in her head and it's the only thing she can hear- she's thankful for she can see the slow and tired movements his lips are making as he attempts to make something, anything right.

And it finally comes out, a lot weaker, quieter and hoarser than she'd wished for, but she has to say it, for she cannot face the truth. The truth that she can only love one man, the truth that she doesn't know which one she loves more, the truth that her choice doesn't matter, because they won't be separating anyway. The truth hurts a lot more than this, she tells herself.

"Out."

A/N- I wrote this for the One Word Challenge- we were only allowed one word of dialogue. Was this any good? I know it's just a little drabble but I also know I have a lot of Lucissa fans out there on my author alerts, and I haven't written anything of this pairing for a while… so I hope you guys like this, new readers and old! A review would be very much appreciated…