Disclaimer: I own "Anastasia". And "Twilight." Wait... NO I DON'T!! xD
Dear Carlisle,
I love Jasper. Hook me up with him. Kthxbai.
--Loveless in PA
Dear Loveless,
Sorry. No can do.
He's mine, bitch.
--Carlisle
Back at the Cullen Residence…
-insert thing from Wayne's World here-
I walked out of my study last Friday, on a mission: to find Jasper. I had urgent news to tell him. Seriously, guys, this was URGENT. I found him in the kitchen, looking at an apple. Why, I don't know. He can't eat apples. Silly Jasper.
"Jasper…" I began, "I think I love you."
Jasper tilted his head to the left, putting down the Jazz apple that we got for that little skank of Edward's. "Question mark…?"
"Yes. Because Carol told me that we're gay lovers."
"Since when?"
"Yesterday."
"Oh. Okay."
"I'm glad you took it so well." I was genuinely pleased. I had never had a gay lover before. The only other gay lovers I had seen were Collins and Angel from RENT. They had seemed so happy. You'd think that in all my 600-so years, I'd seen more, huh?
Nope. You're wrong.
An awkward silence ensued.
"So, Carlisle," Jasper seemed bored, "what now?"
"Hm. Let's frolic about, holding each others' hands, singing "I'll Cover You" from RENT. Then we can go rent Anastasia. Why don't we have that movie?"
"Beats me. But it sounds like a plan. Off we go!"
We started to frolic, but then, as we were just about to leave the kitchen, Jasper suddenly stopped…
"CARLISLE, wait!"
"Yes?"
"I believe that… That… I'm still…"
"Still what, Jasper?"
"…heterosexual…" he said in a small voice. I could barely hear it!
"Oh. Yeah. Me too." I shrugged, while we let go of the other's hand. We then continued, walking now, to my car, off to rent Anastasia. We watched it with the family plus the skank of Edward's that night, and had much fun, because they were singing.
Of course.
A/N: Sorry this is so crappy. But it is. Don't yell.