Title: Betrayal is a sad and futile thing
Chapters: 1/1
Disclaimer: Gakuen Heaven isn't mine…
Betrayal is a sad and futile thing
It had started of real easy. Like most things in life, this wasn't really a choice. It was more an open opportunity you would feel bad about if you didn't take it right then and there. And when he closed his eyes he could still feel soft hair and hard muscles. And he now knows it was a mistake. A spark of lust that he had given into.
But he isn't afraid of what he has done. He isn't afraid of the consequences it will bring for him. No, he is more afraid of how it might affect the ones he cares about. How will they react? And he is mostly afraid of the overwhelming feeling of guilt that will come over him. That ugly feeling that will make him perish in self-pity. A self-pity that is totally out of place and dishonest because he is the one that hurt people, not the one hurting.
And he also knows, that when it comes out at the end, he will feel ashamed for a moment. But that doesn't matter. Because shame wears off. And then all that's left is that nagging feeling in his gut that tells him he shouldn't have done it. But it just felt right, at the time.
Yes, he thought, betrayal is a sad and futile thing, making him feel miserable. Perhaps in the beginning it gives off signs of satisfaction, but later, when that feeling ebbs away it will only hurt. You'll think back, and only remember the pain you've given the other. Not the pleasure you gained out of it in the progress.
But what he didn't expect was to be understood. Although being understood was a big word to use. Perhaps it was safer saying that his lover had seen it coming. And when he had told him, his lover had sat behind his computer, as always. Staring intently at the screen, and he thought for a moment that perhaps his lover hadn't heard his words.
But the small movement of his head downwards told him he had been heard. And he looked down in shame. The harsh words he had somewhat expected didn't come. And his lover said nothing. As if he had known it had happened. As if he had peace with it, for now. And he looked up, grateful for the fact tears weren't gathering in his eyes. And he stood up and laid his hands on his lover's shoulders. He would not leave his lover for that other person. But he had to be honest. And he had been. But he had rather heard harsh words, than the few words spoken after that.
'I'm sorry, Omi.'
'Yes, that's what you say.'
'You're mad.'
'No, I'm not. A queen belongs with its king, Kaoru-chan.'
The End