I wrote this when my anxiety was getting on top of me. Turn our fear into fuel, right? Hope you guys enjoy :) This is sort of post Captain America: Winter Soldier, as if Bucky joined the Avengers.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Steve Rogers could see it happening maybe before even James 'Bucky' Barnes did.
The tall man flicked his eyes over to where Tony Stark and Thor Odinson were speaking to a couple of young girls who were 'fangirling so hard'—or at least, that was what Natasha Romanvoa said they were doing. Tony and Thor were two of the central Avengers in this big meet and greet that both Pepper Potts and Maria Hill had ordered them all to attend. It was becoming more and more common and while Steve understood why Pepper and Maria organised them, he couldn't help but wish that the one afternoon he had off in over two weeks was spent back in the small apartment he and Bucky owned in Brooklyn.
But no.
They were here, and they were smiling and waving and signing autographs and kissing babies and hugging people, and Steve loved that they were inspiring people and were supported and that there was still faith in the Avengers after everything that had happened when Natasha had released the documents after finding out SHIELD was infiltrated by HYDRA.
They had only gotten into New York at four o'clock that morning, they had caught a few hours of sleep in the rooms at the compound and then they had needed to debrief, get cleaned up, and were then all taken into the city for the meet and greet. The majority of the Avengers had been in Rome for the past two weeks on a mission that had them all undercover, and then Tony and Vision had joined them yesterday morning to help them when they infiltrated the base. Thor had arrived back on earth that morning, with Bruce Banner in tow, to show up for the meet and greet, and apparently they had been bouncing from planet to planet with a group of people called the Guardians of the Galaxy. There was also the kid, Peter Parker, that Tony had taken under his wing, and he looked completely starstruck.
Wanda Maximoff looked tired, but she also looked overjoyed to be crouching down with two girls who were wearing bright red clothes with the little red capes that people always associated with her even though she didn't wear one.
Clint Barton was watching everyone from a few steps back, not smiling for photos or posing like some people were asking him too, but when a guy in his twenties came up to him and started asking all these complex questions his bow, he was right in his element.
Vision had been there were all of three minutes and then decided to leave because he didn't understand why he needed to be there.
Natasha was talking to a group of girls who looked as though they had enough muscles to take on Steve and Bucky at the same time.
Tony and Thor were living it up in full costume and taking selfie after selfie with one after another with people who were flooding up to them.
Sam Wilson and James Rhodes were looking suave in suits and they were alternating them time between talking to some older men who had served in the army and a couple of gorgeous women who clearly weren't just here for a photo, but a phone number as well.
And then there was Bucky.
And Bucky was trying so hard.
Steve could see it.
He was smiling, he was letting people touch him—even a couple hug them, he was answering questions, he was posing for pictures, he was signing little action figures and trading cards...But the corners of his lips were tight and the smile wasn't reaching his eyes and the way the fingers of his very expensive cybernetic arm were twitching slightly at his side and his shoulders were hunched forward, as though he was trying to curl in on himself.
Protect himself.
Steve managed to excuse himself from speaking to a couple of veterans that Sam had introduced himself, and when Maria turned to him while speaking with an older lady beside her and it looked as though she was about to call out to him, he just gave her a firm shake of his head and quickly made his way over to Bucky. Maria didn't try to step in, just smiled widely and called out for Rhodey. Natasha stepped forward to intercept a girl with a Captain America hoodie and red and blue streamers in her hair and Steve ducked around behind her to reach Bucky.
"Come on," Steve murmured, putting his hand on Bucky's elbow. Bucky had just taken a selfie with two young girls who blinked up at Steve with starstruck awe. Steve gave them both a smile, but then he tugged on Bucky's arm. Bucky didn't even ask any questions as he let Steve lead him away from the crowd of people. As they walked further into the building, away from the crowds of people. Steve could feel the tension slowly ebbing away, and his eyes flickered around, looking for an empty room.
After everything that Bucky had been through, the fact that he was more than willing to go out there, to face hordes of people that he didn't know and who would try to touch him and speak to him, was such a big thing. Back in the forties, Bucky had loved groups of people and he was charming and the centre of attention. Despite that, he still preferred keeping to the shadows and he worked well alone, which is why he was such a brilliant sniper.
Now, though, he barely trusted the people that Steve assured him were good, safe allies who they were around almost every day. He was warming up to Natasha, Clint and Wanda, and even though he and Sam pretended to have this rivalry, they got on reasonably well. However, he still opted to stay close to Steve and the quicker he got out of crowded areas, the better. But being part of the Avengers meant some public relations, and he was trying to fit in, and be part of the team.
Steve didn't want him to be pushed, though.
"Just breathe, Bucky," Steve murmured under his breath as he pushed open a door and found an empty meeting room. He pulled Bucky in behind him, shut the door firmly behind them and pressed Bucky up against the door. He didn't hug him, even though that's where his arms automatically wanted to go. He braced his arms on either side of Bucky's head, against the door, so that Bucky was trapped in the small space between them.
He heard Bucky's breathing get fast as he adjusted to the space he was trapped in. When things got hard for Bucky, when his anxiety started manifesting, Steve had first thought it would be good to give him space. He knew that personally, for himself, when he felt like things were getting too much, he liked space.
It turned out Bucky didn't.
At least when it came to Steve.
He wanted Steve in his space, right in front of him, and pushing against him, letting Bucky know that he was there. Bucky liked having Steve right in front of him, being able to smell him, murmuring reassurances softly to him, centering him.
Bucky's breathing was still quick but he was trying to slow it down and he tipped his head back heavily against the door and in the dim light coming through the windows, Steve could see the sheen of tears in his eyes. Bucky's hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides, and after a moment, Steve leaned in so that his forehead was against Bucky's.
"Just breathe in...Breathe out..." Steve whispered, making his chest expand and fall in an over-exaggerated fashion, and he felt relief begin to trickle through him as Bucky copied his movements. Steve shifted one of his hands from where it was resting against the door and he loosened Bucky's tie so that it wasn't quite as tight around his neck. Both of them hated the suits that they had to wear, even though Tony boasted about how they were Italian made and cost more than what most people made in a year. Steve smoothed a hand over Bucky's shoulder and then slid it down his arm lightly before reaching the metal fingers of Bucky's cybernetic arm. Steve slipped his fingers between his partners and tightened them. "There's two other exits we can take. One of them goes to the back alley where a lot of servers are and the other is toward the road. We could sneak out and hail a cab."
"Go do that diner and get milkshakes?" Bucky asked. His voice was a little shaky and his face was still a bit pale, but Steve could feel the pressure he was returning as he squeezed his hand.
And he was asking for food.
That was always a good sign.
"Yeah, we can go get milkshakes," Steve agreed with an upturn of his lips. "And burgers."
"And then go home?" Bucky's voice was hopeful and Steve's heart felt full.
Home.
Their little apartment in Brooklyn.
Screw Maria and Pepper.
He and Bucky were getting out of there.
"And then go home," Steve nodded and leaned in. Bucky pressed their lips together for a brief moment before they pulled apart, and Steve lead his lover from the room and toward the exit.
Let me know what you think x