This is a rewrite of that scene in Bones' office where Daisy seduces Sweets and are caught by Cam. In this one it isn't Cam who finds them. I know that Cam saw the aftermath with a disheveled Sweets left behind, so this is a little more obvious. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
"BONES!" Booth bellowed as he came into their spacious home. He'd been praising God that he'd convinced her to leave the Prison and that they could return the next day, but now he wasn't so sure it had been that great an idea. He'd also thought she'd spend the balance of the day at the Jeffersonian in the lab, hence the monumentally hideous experience just a bit ago.
"Booth?" Bones questioned as she came out of the kitchen, feeling like nothing more than a beached whale. She would never understand why women seemed to enjoy their pregnancies, but she wasn't from a physical side. That was why she'd gone home so early. "What's the matter?"
"You've got to get a new office!" Booth said without preamble. "And we need to make sure that there is a computer controlled lock on the damn thing so that when you aren't in there it's locked solid!"
Bones knew instantly that something had happened. "What happened?" she asked.
"It was hideous, Bones!" Booth shuddered. He was seriously considering calling the CIA and asking if they had any chemicals that could erase a memory or two. It had been that bad!
"What was hideous?" Bones questioned again.
"I don't think I can ever again enter that office without that image flashing in my brain!" Booth continued on unabated. "You need a new office. That's all there is to it! I'll even get you one next to mine at the Hoover Building! That would work out great!"
"BOOTH!" Bones said very loudly. "WHAT HAPPENED?" she ground out, slowly enunciating each word.
That caught Booth's attention. He took a deep breath and sat down, bringing her into the couch with him. Taking a deep breath, he related what had happened just a little while before.
Booth was all smiles as he made his way across the lab to Bones' office. He had managed to finish the paperwork detailing the visit to the prison and now he could bring Bones home and spend a quiet evening with her and the soon to be born Baby Bones. Life couldn't get any better. Well, that waste of skin Hacker could shoot himself and be out of everyone's life forever, but since that nice thought would never happen Booth contented himself with his own daydreams of beating the crap out of the pansy. Making his way to her office he whistled a favorite tune and then waltzed right on in.
"Bones?" he said and then froze as a horrific sight met his eyes.
There before him was Sweets on top of Daisy Wick looking for all the world as if he was going to be playing Hide The Little Vienna Sausage. Suddenly a tray was hit and Daisy threw Sweets off of her and then stood up, her top and lab coat open revealing full cleavage and one breast exposed, much to Booth's horror. She shrieked excitedly grabbed the tray and bounded out of the room ignoring Booth, while Sweets was there looking dazed, his tie and shirt askew, and Booth glaring at him.
"Uh, hi?" Sweets offered lamely.
"Don't say a word, Sweets," Booth said with as much venom as he could manage. "I'm trying not to hurl! Just get out, and if I ever catch you and the hyped up Energizer Bunny in Bones office again I will shoot your balls off and make you a permanent soprano! Got it?"
"Got it," Sweets said as he rushed to straighten himself out and then ran out of the office at full speed.
"Little Vienna Sausage, Booth?" Bones questioned at the end of the rendition. "I am quite certain that Sweets is rather more well endowed than that."
Booth felt his stomach lurch. "Bones," he pleaded. "The very idea that you have put any thought at all into what Sweets has South of the Border makes me want to toss my cookies! Now this is serious! I'm shocked I haven't gone blind from what I saw!"
"You saw two people engaged in a perfectly natural physical act, and in the process saw a single breast," Bones told him. "I hardly see where that should be a concern. Or why I should move into a new office. I will not move my office next to yours. I need to be based at the lab."
"But Bones, every time I come to see you all I will be able to see is those two going at it like greased monkeys!" Booth exclaimed. "And it was behind your desk where you sit! Besides which I have no desire to see anyone's breasts except yours! Now we need to get you a new office! I already talked to Cam and she said there's a nice one on the second floor."
"You've spoken with Cam about this?" Bones raised a brow of disapproval.
"Right when it happened," Booth replied unrepentantly.
"I am not going to change offices," Bones said finally. "I do, however, have a compromise."
"I can beat the crap out of Sweets?" Booth asked hopefully.
"No," Bones told him. "But we can make love in his office while he is out and then let him catch us in flagrante dilecto. Let him have the blinding images in his mind, and we give you something to enjoy when it comes to offices."
"We are not a peep show, Bones," Booth shook his head.
"Who said anything about being undressed?" she asked. "A loose skirt and no panties make for easy access, and we can situate it so I am straddling you in a chair."
Booth considered this one. "Alright," he told her. "But if this goes South it's all your fault."
Ten weeks later
"I knew this was a bad idea," Booth said as they got into the SUV and drove off from the Hoover Building. "Turn the tables on Sweets, huh? No one will ever know, huh? Cullen just walked in on us, Bones! I'm going to be stuck in therapy with Sweets for the rest of my damn career!"
"If it will make you feel any better I got approval for a new office this morning," she told him. "I decided you are correct on the imagery, as I was struck by the image of Sweets and Miss Wick for the last three weeks since coming back to work."
"You got the office anyway?" Booth squawked. "Then what the Hell were we doing in Sweets' office?" he demanded.
"Fulfilling one of my fantasies," Bones told him smugly.
"You're all heart, Bones," he muttered, but smiling inside that she had gotten a new office. Yep. Now he could go see the love of his life and not feel like vomiting every time he entered her office. Now he just needed to work on calming Cullen down. Damn Sweets! The walking pimple was more trouble than he was worth sometimes!
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this fun one. It is only a one shot, but it did encapsulate a fun way to look at that scene with just a slightly different detail. Gregg.