A/N: Unlike my other stories, I'm trying not to rush this one into anything unnecessary and boring, so this is out of my comfort zone. If you think I should continue, please review, because unless people are going to like this, I'd be wasting my own time, m'kay? I accept constructive advice.

Enjoy.

I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm

When you passed out

I couldn't bring myself to call

Except to call it quits

Best friends

Ex-friends till the end

Better off as lovers

And not the other way around

Racing through the city

Windows down

In the back of yellow checkered cars

You're wrong (wrong)

Are we all wrong

You're wrong (wrong)

Are we all wrong

This city says...

Come hell or high water

Well I'm feeling hot and wet

I can't commit to a thing

Be it heart or hospital

~Beginnings~

/Itachi/

"Itachi-san. Nice to meet you, I'm Kisame Hoshigaki."

The first thing he said to me was 'Itachi-san', but I didn't deserve the honorific.

I was the silent mystery of the Akatsuki. Silent, brooding, evil man who killed his clan, etc. Labels were all I knew and what others thrived on. I was a murderer, a monster. I killed my family, albeit under the Hokage's orders, but I did. I could have refused and I could have fought. But I didn't. I was weak. It was always 'Itachi' this and 'Itachi' that and I was sick of it. Sick of it so bad, I don't regret doing what I did. That wasn't true. I had to, I tell myself but I didn't have to. I could have stopped it. I could have been a hero. But now I'm stuck here, in this forsaken dump with a shark as my partner. Kisame-san's actually not too bad, but he's so funny and sarcastic it reminds me of-

Her.

My sister was the other problem in my not-so-perfect life. One was Sasuke, and the other was… her. Shiai Uchiha was the back-up plan to my parents if I ever did not comply to a mission, a talk, a lecture. Sasuke was the rebound.

It's like our lives revolved around the lies and scandals of the Uchiha clan and the Senju. Their bitching and moaning led to their own demise, their end, their suffering. I tried to tell myself that it was meant to be. But it isn't. It shouldn't be. There's always a choice, she told me, always another option. She used to say that our parent's other option was her, but she didn't know who I was. A monster.

Itachi Uchiha.

This game is all wrong. I'm all wrong. I laid down in bed. Kisame was snoring lightly, like a fish.

Fishes don't snore, she used to tell me. After all this, hearing about her death has brought up unwanted memories, thoughts and old things I left behind. In the past, where I wanted them to stay forever, to escape my guilt and the pain it brought me until it died away.

Only 2 years difference, could mean a lot. But she could have beaten me if she wanted to back then. Not now. She was somewhere with mother and father and the others.

She used to babysit the Uchiha nin's offspring after school until she had enough saved up to buy the whole family dinner at Ichiraku Ramen. Father didn't want to show up, mother was sick, and I was away on a mission. She sat alone that night at Ichiraku, before the ramen got cold. Teuchi-san offered to refund her but she said no. A wasted effort, for a waste of space; befitting the high and mighty Uchiha clan.

Kisame was still snoring away, lightly albeit, I have to admit. I closed my eyes. Nothing, just the sensation of darkness. She used to love darkness.

I guess I should take into consideration that there's a slight chance she may be alive. But I doubt it. Sasuke's after revenge.

He's madly in love with the idea of killing me, it's changed him. Ran off to that pedophiliac snake, gave me a heart attack. I wonder if she's still alive sometimes, but the last I heard, she perished in the Yure River of Sunagakure. That night, my hands were shaking. They were shaking so, so bad I couldn't even feel anything until he came. My father was a bastard, not looking at the talent in front of him and instead focusing on the images. Me. Shiai could have been the saviour of Konoha, the angel within the demons of earth. She was that, everything. Daddy's little girl and the epitome of perfection in everyone's eyes, but yet they chose me. Unfortunate, cruel me.

So I did it. The hardest one to kill was Mikoto, and the easiest was Fugaku. The hardest to leave was Sasuke and the one who didn't bring me anything at all was Shiai. A mission saved her. She would have been the hardest to kill if she was there. But she wasn't. So my beloved sister remained alive. Until a river took her down. Or maybe it didn't. I don't know. It's hard to keep up with the trends while you're part of an evil organisation, trained to kill. I can't talk to anyone without feeling a little reminiscent about my family. It was like a family within a nightmare. One that never ended and one I couldn't tell anyone.

Itachi the Pacifist of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, Konohagakure. Che, what a title.

So I keep everything bottled up, in this sinful vessel of mine and hope that I won't hurt anyone when I finally explode.

/Hidan/

Kakuzu's snoring way too loud. It's like a drill within my ears, just hammering away at my insides. I just want to wake him up and shake the fuck out of him so he stops mutilating my ears. It's around 2.00 in the morning and no one else is awake, as far as I know. I'm just the unlucky person who happened to be chosen to sleep in the same room as Mr. JackHammer.

He's taking up most of the bed as well. He hogs the pillows too. He's a fucking panda bear. I don't like animals.
I don't like animals, I've said that countless times. But it's actually kind of a lie, because I don't like most animals but I like some. I hate Uchiha's stupid crows and Orochi-bastards snakes but I like cats. It's strange. Because when I was in Yugakure, I fed the stray cats outside my building complex. Because they were like me. Unwanted mutts in a cruel, cruel world. But I survived, and I grew up. I have Kakuzu and the rest of the Akatsuki, even Uchiha-bastard and Pein. I'm not alone. Even though I hate Uchiha and Pein, and Kakuzu seems to hate me, I'm not alone. Like those cats in the alleys with no one but themselves and the rare occasional person to feed them.

Which would be me. Just me.

At night, it's not so bad around Kakuzu, once you tune out the snoring. I don't hate him. Zombie Combo; my arse. He's not immortal, like me, but immortality isn't everything. You learn to grow attached to someone before losing them completely. Kakuzu told me that, but I don't really believe him. I have my religion. I have feelings, unlike Sasori. Sometimes that puppet boy's way of life is too easy. No pain, physical or mental, but I'd be shitting myself if I didn't feel anything.

It's like falling into an abyss of nothingness and emptiness. Like a glass half empty or half full. No decisions, no guilt.

Feelings get in the way. If I just didn't feel anything, life would be so much more easier. The cats would be dead and I would be on the floor in pieces. Kakuzu's stopped snoring. Finally. It's too quiet now, though. Silence pierces through my ears, and I turn and try to block out the noise but it's way, way, too loud. Silence isn't always the best.

Silence is good for contemplating life like I have been, but we have a mission tomorrow. I need my fucking sleep.

I turn and poke Kakuzu in the back.

"Hnn? What the hell.." He mumbles before kicking me.

"Kakuzu. Keep snoring, I can't sleep." I said, turning around to my side, expecting to hear snoring again.

"Whaat?" He snorts.

"The silence is too loud."

"Are you kidding me." He slurs. "And anyway,"

"I don't snore."

"...Right." I say. I stifle a cough but he's already sleeping. Lazy bastard.

A/N: For those of you who are smart cookies, yes, Shiai is alive. She should come about in later chapters, because I don't want to rush this. Cookies for people who know what Shiai means in Japanese!(:
Feel free to review, like, wanted pairings, but do not ask me to randomly drag Sakura into this. I mean, okay, she killed Sasori, the sexual tension and all, but really? No. Just no.

Please review or PM me, because I won't bother writing this if no one even gives a shit about it. And also, the song above is 'Bang The Doldrums' by Fall Out Boy, because it pretty much is exactly the relationship between Shiai and Itachi. Do I smell incest?

-MyHeart