Don't Eat the Twinkies
"Oh stars and garters Bobby, why did you have to go and perform such a reckless and foolhardy act of gluttony?"
"Hey chill Hank, I'll admit those were probably yours but it was only a few Twinkies."
"Those old friend were no ordinary Twinkies but the result of my latest scientific endeavor. Those Twinkie's were a hundred times more potent than the mundane variety and you will now have a sugar high of prodigious proportions. Oh stars and garters, this is worse than Apocalypse," gulped Hank going deathly pale underneath his fur.
Bobby laughed and slapped Hank on the back deciding that his friend was just mad about him having filched some of his favorite snacks. Yes Hank was just trying to scare him to get his own back and so Bobby walked off nonchalantly not realizing that Hank had been deadly serious. Not even Hank could have guessed what he was about to be unleashed upon the unsuspecting X-Men.
He was about halfway down the stairs when the effects started to kick in. His eyes seemed to light up with manic intensity and almost insane glee and a wild grin spread over his face. He stopped and suddenly howled like a wolf before breaking down in a fit of giggling. Wiping tears of mirth from his eyes he struck a dramatic pose and thumped his fist against his chest grinning triumphantly.
"Yeah the Iceman rules!" yelled Bobby at the top of his lungs.
"Stars and garters, I am become death the destroyer of worlds or whatever it was that Oppenheimer said," moaned Hank too flustered to remember the exact quotation. He buried his head in his furry arms and began very quietly to sob.
Logan meanwhile was about to become Iceman's first victim and the hapless feral never suspected a thing. He was looking forward to a nice chilled beer straight from out the fridge when it suddenly became a little too chilled for his liking, frozen solid within the can. Snarling Logan popped out his claws and looked around for the culprit.
"Yer going ta get a taste of my claws fer messing with my beer Popsicle," snarled the far from happy feral.
"Hey just chill would you Logan, actually I'll give you a little help there," chuckled Bobby.
Reaching out he touched one of Logan's sideburns freezing it solid. Logan was too stunned with Bobby's sheer audacity to react as his frozen sideburn snapped off and shattered on the floor. Messing with Logan's sideburns was a guaranteed death sentence and as Bobby stood with hands on hips laughing his head off a distinctly murderous expression was set on Logan's face. Lips curled back in a fearsome snarl and hazel eyes burning with rage, Logan growled ominously and unsheathed his claws. He lunged at Bobby who iced up and instantly chunks of ice went flying as Logan's claws slashed across his chest. Fortunately Bobby was able to reform himself but if he wasn't careful he would end up as ice cubes. He formed his iceslide to make a rapid escape with the snarling feral in hot pursuit.
"Hey Wolvster can't you take a joke?" wailed Bobby.
"There ain't going ta be no mercy fer ya bub, not after what ya did ta my whiskers!"
Unfortunately for Logan he was too enraged to notice Bobby's newly created ice slick on the corridor floor and he slipped ending up on his posterior while a madly laughing Bobby made a clean getaway. Logan growled and yelled threats of the removal of various body parts from Bobby. Logan was still snarling when Hank came and helped him to his feet nearly getting a claw through the chest for his trouble. Logan finally calmed down and listened as Hank explained what had happened to Bobby.
"So what ya trying to tell me is that thanks ta yer little experiment Bobby is now on the mother of all sugar highs? What the hell were ya thinking?"
"I can assure you Logan that the effects are purely temporary and I estimate the cessation of Bobby's exhilarated state in approximately five or six hours. Still with Bobby's penchant for pranks he could wreak untold havoc within that time. Oh stars and garters, I think he was heading for the women's shower room. Now he's sure to meet with a frosty reception if he pulls that little prank again," muttered Hank as he scratched his chin.
"Yeah, Rogue's taking her shower and ya know she makes me look like a kitty cat when she gets annoyed,"
Bobby paused and watched Rogue through the shower door. Of course she was obscured by the steam and frosted glass but he still caught glimpses of her beautiful figure. She was presently washing that lovely brown hair with its distinctive streak of white, her southern drawl crooning one of her favorite songs. She looked so happy and at peace enjoying her shower that Bobby hardly had the heart to ruin it for her. Still a determined prankster never let his conscience get in the way of the pursuit of fun. Besides this was too good an opportunity to miss. All he had to do was reach out and touch the pipe to the hot water tank. A loud scream was heard as the water ran ice cold.
"What in tarnation? Bobby, ah'm going tah give y'all a hiding fer this!"
Bobby created another ice slide and since his back was turned missed the sight of Rogue flying after him naked but for the towels she had draped around herself. One who did notice was Remy who thought he had died and gone to heaven. Somewhat ashamed by his thoughts he decided he needed to have a cold shower and got one even colder than he had bargained for.
"Merde, dis is de work of monsieur Drake, Remy going to teach you a lesson now mon ami."
If he had been in a more rational frame of mind Bobby would perhaps have realized that angering three of the most dangerous X-Men and having them all out for his blood at the same time was not really a very sensible thing to do. Still if that thought had even crossed Bobby's mind for an instant he just didn't care. After all he was the Iceman and nothing and nobody could stop him.
"Yeah I'm the best there is at what I do and what I do is cause havoc!" yelled Bobby.
Logan heard him from the other end of the mansion and it took all of Hank's considerable strength to restrain the now berserk feral. Suffice to say that Bobby's stealing of his catch phrase was the final straw as far as Logan was concerned.
"Stars and garters, I have really created a monumental fiasco with this little endeavor. Whatever could I have been thinking off letting him into my lab when there were Twinkies about? After all he's one of the three Twinkie addicts in the mansion along with Jubilee and my bouncing blue self. Of course he would be unable to resist the temptation and he can be bad enough when he's on an ordinary sugar high. Now I've as good as destroyed all hope for peace and sanity,"
Hank banged his fist against the wall in frustration smashing a hole straight through it. Sighing heavily he was about to get back to his lab and try his best to come up with an antidote when he heard Logan's muttered curse. Turning he saw the feral had gone as white as a sheet and there was a most unfamiliar emotion written over his face, pure unadulterated terror.
"Logan what is the matter?"
"Ya know Hank, I've just thought, what the flaming hell is going ta happen if Jubilee joins up with him. Ya know how much trouble those two can cause when they work together."
Logan's words proved prophetic for even as he spoke Bobby had found Jubilee and together they were planning a prank war the likes of which had never been seen before. The chaos was only just beginning.