01. The Blame Game

The wailing of a siren broke through the unusual calm of the hospital emergency room. The paramedics rushed through the sliding doors with a sense of urgency as Dr. Robin Scorpio dashed over to the gurney.

"What do we have," she asked. She recognized that look of terror just before the doors opened again and there was her mother, tears smearing her mascara. She knew then that the man in the gurney was no longer a patient to her…He was her family.

"Daddy," she cried, her own tears stinging her eyes.

"Oh Robin," Anna gulps. "What if he doesn't make it…what if…?"

Anna's words break off and Robin pulls her into her arms. She turns to the paramedic again, who is now ushering orders to the attending nurse.

"What happened," she asked again, this time with more urgency. "What happened to my dad?"

"He shot himself in the chest. I am so sorry Dr. Scorpio. It doesn't look good."

"Oh God," Robin gasped. "He did this to himself."

As the paramedics disappear from view, Nurse Elizabeth Webber turns back to her friend Robin and promises to let her know as soon as she knows anything.

"How could this happen mom? What was he thinking?"

Anna pulls out of Robin's embrace so she could look at her daughter more closely. Anna's eyes cloud with pain and sadness and Robin suddenly feels like that six-year-old girl again.

"Mommy?"

"This is all my fault Robin. I am the one who told him that I wish his death were real. If he doesn't survive this…Robin, if he dies, I will never forgive myself."

Anna has always prided herself on being strong and independent but right now, the woman Robin always knew as fearless suddenly looked as fragile as glass.

"You aren't the only one who said things you did not mean. My God, mom…I acted as if he was lying. I told him that the father that I loved was dead to me. How am I ever supposed to look at him again?"

"You didn't see him Robin. That look in his eyes. It was more than just pain. Something inside him just died. The man that I loved…There was not a single trace of him when he had that gun pressed against his temple. He was going to shoot himself in the head Robin. I was so scared. I didn't know what else to do so I tried to take the gun away from him."

"You were there?"

"I felt him. I guess after all these years… that still has not changed. I have never seen that look in his eyes before Robin. It scared the hell out of me. He looked as if he were lost in some sort of nightmare."

"Maybe he was mom. Maybe whatever happened when he was 'dead' messed with his mind? Maybe he was struggling against himself?"

"Then how are we supposed to help him?"

"Do you still want to mom?"

Anna pauses as she looks at Robin. At that particular moment, she looks so much like her father that it breaks her heart. Just like her father.

"Are you asking me what I think you are," she questions.

"When you and dad were in that boat explosion, you were just starting your life together. You were so in love mom…But it has been fifteen years since then and I know you have moved on…so I am asking if him turning up alive after all these years changes anything? Are you still in love with him?"

"Robin…It changes everything. I think that is why I was so angry with him. It was a lot easier to blame him then it was to blame myself. I mean, sure I had amnesia, but I knew there was the possibility that if I survived then he could have too…Why did I not look for him Robin? Why didn't I at least try to find him…at the very least to confirm my memories…Maybe if I had…."

"There is enough blame here to go around okay…Lets just admit that we all did things that we regret. That includes dad. "

"Are you saying you forgive him?"

"Right now I just want him to wake up. No matter how angry I might be with him, I would never wish him this kind of pain. "

"Neither would I Robin. He can't leave this world thinking that I don't love him…that I could ever wish him this kind of hell. I need him to know how I really feel."

"So you do still love him?"

"You know…You can be just as infuriating as your father."

"I'll take that as a yes. That means there's still hope."

"Maybe," she admits. "But first your father has to wake up. "

Robin wraps her arms around her mother as she angrily wipes at the tears in her eyes. Anna never liked to show weakness in front of anyone…especially her daughter.

"It's okay to admit that you're not superwoman okay?"

Anna forces a smile in silent acknowledgement and Robin knows it is the closest she will ever get to an admission. Anna closes her eyes tightly and Robin knows she is praying. There was nothing else they could do. The rest was up to Robert.

"Please fight this daddy. Please know how much we love you...how sorry we are."

"Please forgive me Robert. I need you to wake up right now. I know you are hurting but..please wake up. I can't lose you before I can tell you how happy I am that you are alive...that despite everything I'm still crazy about you. Wake up Scorpio. I still need you in my life."