Six Months Ago
His shirt clung to his torso, the humidity fostering the thin cotton to stay in place even when he attempted to fluff the shirt away from his body. He'd been outside playing a game of kickball with some of the other ASZ teens when the sun rays trounced, rendering him parched and slightly dehydrated. His cheeks now flushed and rosy, Carl decided to take a break and grab some water from a well next to the house Abraham, Rosita and Eugene shared. As he approached the well, the distinct sound of humming interrupted his focus. His head swung around itself, in search of a bird but it was nowhere to be seen. Gulping as much of the water as his mouth and body could handle, Carl carelessly whipped the bucket from his mouth and doused the rest over his head, the cold well water relieving the ache and heat of the summer sun.
The humming commenced once again, piquing the young man's interest, so he opted to follow the sound, determined to locate the culprit. Low and a bit off key, Carl trailed the sound and found Eugene standing on an apple crate, peeking through one of the open windows in the back of his house.
"What are you doin'," Carl questioned making his way towards the awkward man. If Carl didn't know any better, he'd think Eugene was up to his peeping tom schemes again. There had been many complaints of people accusing Eugene of voyeurism, whatever that meant. He'd have to look that word up when he got home. His dad wouldn't tell him because he was too busy and had started to subscribe to Michonne's methods. She always made him look words up in that big, dusty, antique dictionary they acquired from the attic of their house when they first moved in.
Startled, Eugene wobbled from side to side, attempting to keep his balance but his efforts were for naught, he plummeted to the ground beneath the box, landing on some rocky terrain.
"Uh," he mumbled making his way back to his feet. "Uh, I was, uh, just, uh."
"But like isn't that your house," Carl interrupted looking completely confused. "Why don't you just go inside?"
"Could ya keep it down," Eugene rushed towards Carl looking like he was going to cover the young boy's mouth with his hand. Carl swatted Eugene's pudgy hands away from his face.
"Don't touch me," Carl frowned. "I know what you were doing. You were watching Abraham and Rosita."
"Negative," Eugene lied. "I engineered a new screen to fit inside the lower sash of the window."
"I don't see a screen," Carl countered. "Where's the screen Eugene?"
"Uh," Eugene panicked, quickly calculating an excuse, his eyes and head rolling around like a malfunctioning android. "Uh, I was taking measurements first."
"Bullshit!"
"Hey, you kiss your, uh, Michonne with that mouth?"
"You let me take a peek and I won't snitch," Carl proposed.
"Well dammit," Eugene enunciated. "Never thought I'd be blackmailed by an adolescent due to a devastating loss in a battle of wits."
"You're really not that smart," Carl returned. "You just use a lot of big words. Now do we have a deal or do I go to my dad?"
Eugene grimaced before caving in. He picked up the apple crate and firmly placed it secure just below the bedroom window, then motioned for Carl to step up. Carl gladly made his way on top of the box but was just a few inches shy of getting a good look. Eugene had walked some feet away to be the lookout.
"Hey," Carl whispered. "Eugene. I can't see anything. Hoist me up."
"Uh-uhn," Eugene shook his head vigorously. "Your dad will take the red handled machete and scalp me like a Native American scalping the white men that raped and pillaged their land. No. I'm not gonna do it. No."
"Then, I'm snitching."
"This is not fair."
"Your mullet is not fair, now pick me up," Carl demanded.
Eugene reluctantly obliged and lifted Carl to a seated position on his shoulders before standing on the apple box himself. Carl tossed his dad's hat to the ground and leaned a little closer to the window sill, his eyes growing wider at the sight, his mouth agape and drool began to descend from his mouth. He slurped it up before it could spill over.
"Oh man," he uttered into the thick air, perspiration streaking his hot and flushed face.
"That Rosita's got one hell of a libido," Eugene quipped, proud to share this information with Carl.
"What's a libido," Carl asked lazily, his eyes still glued to the two lovers.
"Eugene!"
"Shit," Carl screamed as he and the man with the mullet barreled down to the rocky ground.
Abraham, half of his thick, pale body hanging out of the window, started spearing empty beer bottles from of the narrow opening at the two peepers on the ground.
"You son of a bitch," he hollered. "Keep your perverted ass in the house and away from our bedroom window. You dumb fuck, short bus riding, lying piece of shit."
Carl and Eugene rolled closer to the house as to get out of Abraham's direct view. They slid their bodies up against the siding of the side of the house, giggling because they were sure they wouldn't get caught.
"Man," Carl snickered. "That was so fuc-"
"What," Rosita demanded, her arms crossed over her terry cloth robe. "That was so what, Carl Grimes?"
"I – I don't, um," Carl swallowed hard.
"I was giving the young man a lesson in sex education," Eugene interrupted.
"Eugene," Rosita threw up a hand. "Stop lying. You're still a virgin. What the hell can you teach this boy?"
"I know enough," he defended himself. "Besides, ya'll need to put up some sheers or drapes or something if you don't want anyone to see you having intercourse. And keep the window closed."
"I'm telling Michonne," Rosita threatened, her hands know splayed on her hips. "And you know she's going to tell your dad, right? She tells Rick everything."
"Now," Abraham piped up. "No need to be so hasty Rosy."
"You weren't the one violated Abraham," she exploded.
"Actually," Carl added. "All I saw was Abraham's translucent back and ass and your legs flailing… in the air."
"Well I'll be damned," Abraham laughed. "You talking about the lack of color in my skin boy?"
Carl nodded and smirked as the two men gathered around him, pushing Rosita aside, who began to make her way back into the house anyway.
"I like you little Rick," Abraham hooted. "How old are you again? Fuck it. It don't matter. Come on and grab a beer with Eugene and I and I'll break down the mechanics of bedroom athletics."
"I prefer the term rolling in the hay," Eugene added, smiling brightly.
"Shut up Eugene," Abraham quickly retorted.
"Okay."
The Present
"Carl," Rick's voice boomed from the young man's bedroom. "Get in here. NOW!"
Carl made his way up the stairs and down the hall, his brow furrowing in confusion as he approached his bedroom. Michonne was sitting at the end of his bed, her hand linked with his dad's. Rick stood tall with his chest puffed out, his breathing seemed labored and his eyes were enraged. A box left Rick's hand and landed hard against Carl's sternum.
"Whatchu doin' with those," Rick immediately questioned. Michonne came to stand beside him and rubbed the back of his neck in an attempt to calm his dad down. She looked at Carl with calm eyes and nodded, while her strokes coerced Rick to take a seat next to her on the bed. She was there to cushion the blow, his liaison and he counted his lucky stars that she was there because he honestly didn't know what his dad would have done to him if she wasn't there. Carl stared down at the box of condoms in his hands.
"You using those," Rick questioned. "Why are you using those?"
"I'm not," Carl answered honestly. "I was holding them for a friend."
"Who," Rick interrogated. "Is it that damn Jason Malloy? Little fucker."
"Rick," Michonne begged. "Language."
He grimaced as her hands travelled up the nape of his neck, her fingers easing his dad's temper as she played with his hair. The edge suddenly went away and the rage that exuded from his father's eyes was now replaced with something much more subdued. What in the hell was that all about?
"What your dad really meant to say," Michonne contributed. "Is that we think we need to have a talk with you about your body and the body of young ladies and the changes you've gone through and are going to continue to go through as you age."
"Oh no," Carl cried. "I know everything I need to know about sex."
"What do you mean, you know," Rick barked. This time Michonne's hand came to rest on his dad's knee and he seemed to immediately chill out at her touch.
"That's gross," Carl addressed, pointing at Michonne physically controlling his dad with her gentle touches. "And I know how babies are made. I know that men have testicles that produce semen that contain sperm. Sperm fertilizes the eggs housed in a woman's ovaries and every month eggs are released through the fallopian tubes and that's where the sperm fertilizes the egg. Then once an egg is fertilized it moves into the uterus. I know all of that. Why are we having this conversation? I'll give Jason the condoms back. I promise I'll give 'em back so we won't have to have this conversation."
"You've been reading your textbooks," Michonne stated, obviously pleased at what she just heard. "I know how much you hate science. I'm proud of you."
"That's besides the point," Rick interjected. "You're not doing anything are you, Carl?"
"Your dad just wants you to know what a huge responsibility a baby is, especially nowadays."
"I'm aware," Carl answered. "I remember mom. I'm not doing anything."
"Have you, uh," Rick started scratching the back of his head. "Have you masturbated?"
"I'm leaving," Carl insisted backing away from his parents towards the bedroom door.
"Carl," Michonne laughed. "It's natural. Everyone has done it."
"La la la la la la la," Carl began to sing loudly, his song summoning Judith from down the hall. She'd just started walking and stumbled her way into his bedroom.
She came to Carl's side and clung to her older brother's leg. He picked her up and planted her on his hip. "Can I go now? Please?"
"Peasssss," Judith mimicked her brother.
"See," Carl started. "Even Judith doesn't want to have this conversation."
"Well," Rick coughed. "If you ever need to talk about. You know fulfilling a need… yourself."
"Just stop," Michonne and Carl dismissed Rick at the same time.
"You're supposed to have my back," Rick whispered into Michonne's shoulder, kissing it softly.
"Sorry. You were failing baby," Michonne apologized. "Carl, can I leave you with one thing?"
"Sure."
"Just remember that girls are delicate. Think of them as flowers. They're pretty and bright and they smell good but they can be easily damaged. It only takes a strong gust of wind for some of them. Others are a bit more resilient. But remember that they are precious and should be cherished, cared for and tended to. Okay."
Carl listened intently to Michonne's words before physically and verbally acknowledging her. "I understand. Protect them and love them at all costs."
"You got it," Michonne added. "We'll leave you alone."
His dad and Michonne stood from where they sat and made their way from his bedroom. Michonne took Judith from his hold, while his dad ushered the two girls in their lives through the door.
"You really know how to use your words," Rick complimented Michonne. "That shit really turns me on."
"I know," Michonne smiled before planting a kiss on Rick's lips.
Carl shuddered, closed the door behind them and trust fell on his bed, his arms outstretched. Thinking about the talk he had with Abraham months before, he was glad he decided not to let that drunken conversation be his only form of sex ed. He'd be the best clusterfuck there was if that's the only knowledge he had. The conversation did generate some questions in him and so he sought the truth himself and checked out a book from the library. Anything was better than having his dad explain the 'birds and the bees' to him.
A knock rapped against his door, just before opening on its own.
"What's up," Carl asked pulling himself up to sit from where he once lay.
"What's up," Rick questioned. "Go ahead and hand those condoms over."
"Are you gonna tell Jason's parent's dad?"
"No," Rick answered honestly. "I'm gonna keep 'em."
"Get out," Carl said tossing the box to his dad and shaking his head. "I don't need or want to know what you're doing with those. Just please leave."
"Alright," Rick chuckled before closing the door behind him.
"They are so gross," Carl shuddered.
A/N: Hiya! This was just a little story that's been stewing in my thoughts for a little while now. I've wondered if and when they'll address Carl's maturing into a man and how they will approach him with the "sex" talk. This was actually a lot of fun to write. I quite enjoyed writing Abraham and Eugene. They are kind of comic relief in a way. I hope you enjoyed this and that you got a good chuckle out of this story if nothing else. Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it! :)
Nik