A/n: Hello everyone. This is another Bilorian (the name I have given to the Gandalf/Bilba ship) one-shot. In this one, Bilba and Gandalf have a three-month-old daughter called Mirninhen (which means [roughly] jewel [of] my eye). It's light on the Bilba/Gandalf fluff (at least to me), but I hope I've conveyed the love that they all have for each other.
So... notes/fun facts before we get started. Not as many as my other one-shot, so that's something to be happy about. ;^)
1: I mention Bilba's cousin Adalgrim briefly at the beginning. Adalgrim is the father of Paladin II, who is the father of Pippin.
2: I also mention Bilba's aunts - Mirabella and Donnamira. These two ladies are her mother's younger sisters. Not much is said of them in Tolkien canon (as far as I know), but I like to think that they were close to Belladonna (Donna was 4 years younger than Bella and Mira was 8) and so would be close to Bilba. Also grand-niece, born into a Hobbit family. Need anything else be said?
3: I call Radagast Gandalf's cousin in this. This one I actually pulled directly from the Hobbit. When Gandalf introduces himself to Beorn in the book, he states that Beorn might have heard of "my cousin Radagast" (or something to that effect; I think my little brother ran off with our copy of the Hobbit since I can't seem to find it :/ ). Not sure how he justifies that relationship since Radagast and Gandalf are Maia of two completely different Valar (Gandalf serves Manwe while Radagast serves Yavanna), but I'm not arguing with it.
4: The Olórë Mallë is the path Manwe left open to Lorien (the realm of the Valar Irmo). It is a peaceful place; meant to sooth the souls of those who travel there. After the Valar had to hide Valinor, Lorien was hidden as well. However, Manwe didn't want to leave Middle Earth without anyway of reaching the sanctuary offered there. So he ordered Irmo to create the Path of Dreams, accessible only to the mind. Olórë Mallë is the name of that path given to it by the elves. (Information gotten from LOTR wiki)
I think that's everything that needs explaining… *hopeful shoulder shrug* If not, shoot me a PM and I'll try to clear up any questions.
Hope you all enjoy! Please excuse any grammatical errors (unless they're terribly glaring in which case please tell me and I will fix them). I did my final edit at 12:34 in the morning and so my "Grammar Nazi" radar wasn't completely working at prime condition.
Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own it. (Rats!) Though it would be wonderful to. Oh, I also don't own Hushabye Mountain. That wonderful piece of work comes from the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and if you haven't already seen it you definitely should. It stars Dick Van Dyke and is one of my most favorite musicals ever.
~~~~ Line Break ~~~~
Soft noises from the direction of the crib woke her. Bilba rolled towards them, attempting to wake herself up enough to go and check on her daughter. Mirninhen had been up almost every hour of the night for the past month - and she would not settle down until someone got up and held her. With her husband gone, that duty had fallen solely on Bilba's shoulders.
Not that she was complaining. Her daughter was the second best thing that had ever happened to her - the first being her husband - and she wouldn't trade her for anything. She simply wished that her daughter would sleep more. The sleep deprivation was starting to wear on her. If Mirninhen's sleep schedule continued this way for much longer, Bilba was seriously considering taking her cousin Adalgrim's invitation to stay at their smial. At least she would be able to get some rest during the day if she did so.
The noises grew a bit louder, more insistent. Bilba finally managed to open her eyes, though the image was still blurry. She could just make out the form of a tall man leaning over the crib. Her heart leaped to her throat, and she was about to spring from the bed when she remembered who the person was.
Her husband had come home that evening, surprising her in the middle of making dinner - as seemed to be his want. He had had to leave soon after Mirninhen's birth - staying just long enough to ensure that she would be all right alone - but she knew he had returned as quickly as he could. She smiled fondly at the memory of how worried he had been before he left.
"You're sure you'll be all right?" He had queried. Lines marred the middle of his forehead as he frowned down at her.
She had shaken her head in fond amusement, "Of course I'll be all right." She answered, laying her head on his chest. "And if I'm not, Bell and Hamfast will be more than willing to help me out. They're good friends. And I'll probably have Aunt Mirabella and Aunt Donnamira dropping by soon to visit. I'll be in good hands. You don't have to worry about me."
He had run his hand through her hair. "It's my job to worry about you, Lalaithnin [my laughter]. I would not be doing my job if I did not do so."
"Then you cannot argue when you tell me not to worry and I do not listen to you. For it is my job to worry about you as equally as it is your job to worry about me."
He had chuckled, "Very well, my Love, I will not press the point. Are you sure you will be all right?"
"Yes! You will be in more danger out there than Mirninhen and I will be." She had sat up then, to look intently into his eyes. "Promise me you will be safe. Promise me you will come home. I could not bear parting with you, Olorin. Not now; not ever. You must come home."
Gandalf had been quiet for a few moments. He had then sat up as well and pulled his wife closer to him. After a few seconds, he answered, though his words had not been reassuring. "I swear I will do everything I can to ensure that I come home to you. But if something does happen to me, you will not be alone. I have asked my cousin Radagast, as well as Elrond and Galadriel, if they would look out for you and Mirninhen if something happens to me."
She had closed her eyes, not wanting to think about something happened to the one closest to her heart, "Why do you have to leave? Why can't you stay here?"
"You know I want to. But I have duties, Bilba. Manwe sent me here for a purpose, and I cannot abandon that mission. It presses too heavily upon me to ignore it, however much I desire to do just that."
She had known that. She still knew that. And despite how much she hated it, she knew he could do nothing else. If he did, he would not be the man she loved. Which was why the following morning, she had stood waving goodbye as he drove away in his cart. And it was why, when he had appeared in her kitchen the evening before, she rushed into his arms, burying her face into the crook of his neck and soaking in the fact that he was home.
She stepped off memory's path to the sight of her husband scooping their daughter into his arms. He settled into the large rocking chair in the corner of the room, holding Mirninhen close to his chest. His staff leaned against the wall beside him, the top glowing just enough to illuminate his face.
Bilba settled back against her pillow, content to watch the interaction. Her husband's face was the most relaxed it had been this visit. The lines that marred his face - especially the ones around his mouth and eyes - were smoothed. He gazed down at the bundle in his arms, a soft smile on his face. It gladdened her heart to see.
She did not know all that Gandalf dealt with while on his journeys. Though he shared much with her, she knew he was plagued by demons and burdens he could no more explain than she could understand. It hurt, to not be able to take his cares completely from him. How she wished she could with every fiber of her being. She spent many a lonely night, wondering where he was, if he was safe, if he was warm and cared for, praying to the Valar to guard him and bring him home.
She did the best she could to ease his heartache each time he was able to return to her. She had gotten better at reading the small signs that told of his pain. Had been able to reach them and sooth them in small ways, to lend him her strength when his seemed diminished or all but gone. Mirninhen's birth seemed to help that goal.
When he held her, Bilba could see the wonder he had been forced to hide when Manwe sent him to Middle Earth. She could see the cares and worries he carried slip to the side, replaced by the love he held for their daughter. She could see him as he actually was, not as he was hidden.
Another cry filled the room followed by gentle murmuring. Now that she was fully awake, she realized that it was her husband whispering to Mirninhen. The three-month-old did not seem to want to be comforted. Bilba knew that Mirninhen was not startled by a stranger holding her. Gandalf had explained that because she was half-Maia she was able to sense him - and any other Maia - and knew who he was.
"Hush now." Gandalf soothed beginning to rock. "Sîdh [peace], Mirninhen. I'm here. You are all right." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "You've grown so big. Soon enough you'll be running all over the place. Let's hope you received more of your mother's gentle nature than my adventurous spirit, or we'll have our hands full with you."
Mirninhen didn't seem to like his remarks for she let out another wail. Her tiny fists were bunched near her head and her eyes were scrunched closed. Gandalf immediately reached up with one hand to stroke her hair.
"Sîdh. Sîdh, nîn gilgalad (Peace, my starlight). Shh. You're all right."
Mirninhen would not be comforted. Bilba was about to get up to feed her and see if that would settle her down, when Gandalf began to sing.
"A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows over Lullaby Bay."
Mirninhen settled almost instantly her eyes wide as she stared up at her father. Gandalf's gaze softened as he continued the song.
"It fills the sails of boats that are waiting, waiting to sail your worries away."
His voice was deep, filling the room with its gentle tones. The ages he had lived fell away, leaving his voice young. As Bilba closed her eyes, she could see again the figure of her husband as he had been in Valinor… as Manwe had allowed him to be on their wedding.
"It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain
And your boat waits down by the quay.
The winds of night, so softly are sighing.
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea."
Mirninhen yawned, and she slowly blinked her eyes. Bilba smiled at the sight. She knew that it wouldn't be long until their daughter lost the battle to sleep. Gandalf lowered his voice further as Mirninhen's eyes stayed closed for longer and longer; he never stopped brushing her hair it's calming effects coupling with his soothing song to send her further and further along the Olórë Mallë.
"So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain
Wave goodbye, to cares of the day.
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away from Lullaby Bay."
Just before Mirninhen succumbed to the call of sleep, Gandalf's hand brushed her cheek as he moved it downwards in another stroke. She reached up and caught one of his fingers with her hand, bringing it to rest against her chest. She yawned once more, then her eyes slipped shut and she snuggled into his arms.
Bilba felt her own eyelids growing heavy and she began to wonder if Gandalf hadn't infused the song with a heavy sleep suggestion. It would be just like him to cheat that way. She thought, but she couldn't find it in herself to mind much. Instead, she allowed her husband's continued humming lull her back to sleep, content in the knowledge that he was back, and that her house was once again a complete home.