I don't own Modern Family nor will I ever. No copyright infringement intended.
Although they should have been enjoying the fact that all three of their kids were now on their own, Claire and Phil only felt lonely and they didn't understand why. They had been looking forward to an empty nest for years - they had literally planned for this. But now they were bored and driving their other family members up the wall. "You two need lives," Jay snapped after they came over for the third time in three days.
"We have lives," an insulted Claire shot back, glaring at her father.
"Claire, no we don't," Phil reluctantly admitted.
"Glad to see one of you gets it." Jay rolled his eyes and locked the door. "Go home!" he shouted.
"We're going! Stop yelling at us!" Claire yelled back as she and Phil headed towards the car and then reluctantly went home.
"What are we even doing?" Phil asked her as they sat down on the couch.
"I have no fucking clue." Claire missed her babies and hated this empty house. She always thought it'd be the opposite. She turned to her husband as an impulsive thought struck her. "Maybe we should have another baby?"
"Claire, are you joking?"
"Possibly?" They shouldn't even be talking about this but now Claire couldn't stop pondering the possibility now that she had brought it up. It was quite possibly one of the worst ideas she had ever come up with but that was okay - Phil had made even worse decisions over the years.
Now that Phil was thinking about it, he found he actually liked the idea. Sure, another baby was probably not the decision they should be making but he didn't care about that right now. He wanted a fourth child with his wife. "Maybe we should sleep on this," he suggested.
"Or we could go have sex right now and make a baby!" What the fuck was she thinking? Claire had no idea but she wanted this to happen.
"I'm down with that. But Claire, we need to be serious for a minute. Do you even want another baby? We could just babysit Lily and Joe to stave off the loneliness," he suggested.
That was actually a good idea but Claire would never admit that to him. A baby sounded like both a wonderful and terrible idea. "Let's do this, Phil."
"Agreed." He kissed his wife, grabbed her hand, and then led her to the bedroom.
Despite the fact that they had come to this decision together, Claire and Phil were still shocked to be staring down at three positive pregnancy tests just seven weeks later. "Holy fuck, this is really happening," she murmured.
"We're having another baby. Another little Dunphy is on the way." Phil laughed nervously as he tried to process the news.
"This was quite possibly one of the worst decisions we've ever made but I'm excited anyway," Claire admitted, tearing up. Why were the mood swings kicking in already? Damn it, she wasn't ready for this.
"So am I." Phil lunged forward and pulled his wife in for a kiss, his hand wandering down to her stomach. "I love you."
"I love you too, Phil."
And that was that - now they had to prepare for the arrival of their fourth baby.
Phil and Claire hadn't told anyone - not even their kids - they were trying for another baby so Haley, Alex, and Luke were understandably thrown for a loop when they were informed of the news just a few days later, after a doctor confirmed what they already knew. "You're pregnant?" Haley shrieked.
Claire rubbed her ear. "Lower the volume, Haley."
"Was this planned or are you two so reckless you just happened to knock Mom up? I'm going with the latter," Alex mused.
"Cool! I'm going to be a big brother." Unlike his sisters, Luke was taking the news in stride.
"You haven't had a baby in eighteen years. I'm supposed to be the reckless one and have the accidental pregnancy. Not you two!" Haley chimed in.
"I can't believe I'm agreeing with Haley but she's right." Alex glared at her parents.
"Not that it's any of your business but your father and I planned this. And yes, it's been eighteen years since we last had a baby but we've had plenty of practice with Lily and Joe," Claire told them, cursing her mood swings as she started to tear up again.
"Baby sitting is completely different from parenting a baby for another eighteen years." Alex couldn't believe these two.
Phil noticed how upset his wife was getting and stepped in. "Alright, that's enough. This is happening whether you like it or not and we'd love your support. You're getting a little brother or sister - just be happy for us."
Claire kissed him. "Thanks, Phil."
"You're welcome," he replied.
Haley tried to calm herself down and start thinking positively. "Maybe it'll be another girl and I can teach this one my ways."
Alex rolled her eyes. "No, I'll teach her how to behave."
"I'll help," Luke added.
"God help us, we're actually adding another one to our chaotic life," Claire whispered as she slipped her arm around Phil.
"I can't wait."
Life threw Claire and Phil another curveball when an ultrasound detected they were having twins. "What the fuck is happening? What are we going to do? What did we do?" she asked as she stared at the grainy picture in her hand.
"The doctor said that because you've been pregnant multiple times already and are older that this isn't really a surprise."
"Not helpful, Phil!"
"Sorry." This definitely hadn't been in the cards when they made the impulsive decision to try for another baby but he didn't really have any regrets. Although completely unprepared, Phil couldn't wait to have two more babies. It meant a lot of sleepless nights and worry for the next eighteen years but they were used to that.
Claire sighed as she placed a hand on her expanding abdomen. She was both terrified and excited about what the future held. Two babies alarmed her but they had family who'd help them. And maybe a nanny this time around when things got to be too much. "We'll figure this out. But damn your sperm and my eggs."
He laughed and then leaned down. "I can't wait to meet you, babies. Your sisters and brother are going to be so excited to meet you." Phil couldn't help but wonder again what the next eighteen years would be like.
Several months later, Claire and Phil's family greeted them as they came home from the hospital with their newborn son and daughter. "They're still very squishy," Gloria commented as she scooped the little girl up from her car seat.
"Give them a break, Gloria. I didn't make fun of Joe, now did I?" An exhausted Claire yawned and sat down on the couch with her son in her arms.
"You can't make fun of me," Joe informed her.
"Good to know." Claire laughed and then started rocking back and forth as Wyatt began fussing.
"You two make some good naming choices. I'm proud of you." Against her better judgment, Alex had immediately loved her new siblings.
"Julia Elizabeth and Wyatt Noah do rock," Haley agreed.
Julia opened her eyes and started crying. "She's probably hungry and I can't help." Gloria handed her over to Phil and then took Wyatt off Claire's hands.
"You know, I thought you were were idiots when you told me Claire was pregnant but they are adorable," Jay told them.
"You were older than us when Joe was born," Claire pointed out, glaring at her father.
"I know that."
"I don't want you to have a baby," Joe told his parents as he watched Gloria interact with his new uncle.
"We're not going to, baby. That shop is closed," Gloria firmly told him.
Claire snorted. "That's what I said and look what happened," she sing-songed.
Gloria handed Wyatt over to Cam. "I want to look into adoption again. I know it hurt us too much after everything fell apart last time but I think it'll work out for us now. It's time," he told his husband.
"Agreed." Mitchell sighed in relief. He had been wanting to bring up adoption again for months but worried Cam would reject the idea. They wanted Lily to have a sibling and she seemed to enjoy Julia and Wyatt.
Cam smiled. "I'm so happy you're in agreement."
"I am too." Mitchell leaned over and kissed his husband, careful not to upset his new nephew.
Although they were glad to have their family around, Claire and Phil were relieved when everyone went home and they were left alone with the babies. "At least we can relax - for about five minutes anyway," Claire snarked.
He laughed as he sat down next to her. Wyatt in his arms, Phil could only gaze at the three of them in awe. Julia in her arms, Claire couldn't stop crying as she stared at her newborns. "I know we're morons for even thinking about this but I love these two - actually, all five of our kids and wow, that's a weird thought - so fucking much. It was still one of the stupidest decisions of our lives but I'm glad we decided to do this together. They're so beautiful, Phil."
"I agree, Claire."
And they might have cursed themselves five minutes later when both newborns started crying at the same time but they couldn't bring themselves to ever regret deciding to go ahead with a fourth pregnancy. Haley, Alex, Luke, Julia, and Wyatt meant the world to them. And eighteen years later, when the twins left for college, Claire and Phil actually enjoyed their empty nest this time and started traveling the world.