When Kuroko first lost Aomine he couldn't understand why it hurt so much. It was worse than a physical pain. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Like he was shouting and no one was hearing him. He was falling apart and no one was giving him a second glance. Most certainly not Aomine, who he knew would be the one most likely to notice something off about Kuroko.
He'd had plenty of time before Aomine to be without close friends. People didn't notice him enough to become close to him. And then there had been Aomine, who blinded him like looking right at the sun, and Kuroko so easily fell into his orbit. When that light was taken away from him he was left drifting in the dark.
He thought he would be more prepared to lose Aomine. It would be like going back to how things had been. But he was wrong. Because the dark was different after seeing light. Because once light had been seen one could also see all the wonders the darkness had been hiding.
When Aomine started to become a part of his life again Kuroko was honestly a little afraid. He didn't want to go through that again. So, he tried to keep Aomine at arm's length. He wouldn't get pulled into his orbit this time.
But Aomine pulled him back in without even really trying that hard. Kuroko was orbiting again without even noticing, and when he did notice it was too late. When he realized he was doing it again he found himself at Kagami's house. He didn't talk about his feelings. He simply watched a movie with Alex and Kagami. He just wanted to be reminded that Aomine wasn't the only light around him anymore. It didn't really help as much as he thought it would.
But he knew he couldn't keep Aomine. His light would leave him again. He hoped this time he would be more prepared.
He wasn't. Just more informed. As he stood in the airport watching Aomine leaving for his flight to America, he was going there for basketball, it occurred to Kuroko why his hands were shaking and he felt like he was falling into darkness again. He was in love. He loved Aomine and he was losing him again. And damn him if it didn't hurt even more the second time around.