So spur of the moment, typed in Tumblr. Unbeta'ed. Just a thought I had this morning I needed to get out. 3, Kira
Got the weight of the world
I summon you here my love
- "I Summon You" Spoon
She wonders if she'll see him in her dreams.
As Olivia drops on the couch, exhausted, she runs a hand through her hair and leans back, head resting gently on the back. She stares at the ceiling, tired but unable to close her eyes, and opts to count the marks up there, tiny rivers of paint, bumps from uneven coats done with fluffy, coated rollers.
John stuck around, she reasons with herself. He appeared for months after they shared a consciousness, walking the halls of Harvard as if he had never taken that car, driven wildly in a chase meant to continue until he could disappear. She can smell the blood from his face, a faint whiff of scent that floats on the air, there, gone.
He stayed until she went down deep and said goodbye, watched for waves on the calm water tinted pink from a setting sun. How apropos, she thinks, resting her hands along her thighs, fingers brushing worn, harsh upholstery.
She wonders and closes her eyes, letting the cool darkness sweep her away until she knows she's asleep, the world tilted a bit off its axis, everything fuzzy and metaphorical. It is the only place where she deals outside fact and certainty, a landscape familiar yet utterly foreign.
As she hits the cliff, that edge between awake and asleep, the Rubicon before thoughts become erased by a slumbering mind, she wonders if he'll be here, in her dreams, a comforting force in all the insanity.
His name graces her lips, a small, whispered prayer before she falls under, a wish put out into reality, leaving her to sleep and wonder and hope she'll find him. Even if she forgets, Olivia wants nothing more to see Peter one last time, to say those words they exchanged with their eyes, the fluttering of eyelashes as duty took them in different directions. Just a moment, a glance, a second to say I love you.
If Olivia Dunham's learned anything, it's that her entire world can change in an instant, and there isn't time for half-whispered words and declarations.
—
Sam shakes her should, pulls her back. Olivia blinks awake and smiles, takes his hand and rises from the couch. Shrugs back on her black jacket, checks the pockets. Feels the comforting weight of her gun on her hip, her badge in her pocket, her love in her mind.
Let him haunt me, she says to herself as Sam begins explaining their next step. Let him follow me and keep me calm.
Soldiers in a war they didn't start, but damn if she's not going to finish it. For them.