Darkness.
It was all Judal knew. For so long that same endless darkness was all that he had known, and now he had all but forgotten what it felt like to feel the light.
From the day of his birth to now, he had been raised for one purpose. Twisted and corrupted from a young age into what he had become today; a being of anger and of hate, a lost soul drowning in the darkness alone and forgotten.
But it was okay because he didn't know any better. This life he led was the only one he had ever known, and it had been this way for years so how was he to know that this was not a life many would consider healthy?
He didn't know anything. Not about the true joys of life nor the way it felt to love and be loved in return. He was naive and clueless to the truth of real world, and had been since the day he had been born.
It might have bothered him had he realized just how far gone he had become. But as twisted by the darkness as he way, Judal couldn't see through the veil obscuring his vision and so he continued down his path of self destruction, following blindly to the wishes of his masters.
And yet... deep down in his soul he knew there was something wrong. He knew that this couldn't be all the world had to offer him, and he wondered if this darkness he had come to call safety was something entirely different than what he knew it to be.
'Am I missing something?'
He would often ask himself as he watched the world fly by him, seeing the happiness and affection of others, wondering why it was only he who had never experienced such emotions.
Was there something wrong with him? Was he not good enough for such things? He didn't know the answers to those questions, and while he would never admit it aloud Judal could never deny that these thoughts bothered him greatly.
They plagued his dreams constantly and soon he began second guessing himself and his life. Was this right? Was this what he wanted? Could he even change his ways after so many years lost to the darkness... Could he possibly feel the warmth of the light again?
But the biggest question was did he even want to?
He didn't understand the ways of the world beyond what he knew. He was like a newborn stumbling around blindly, blinded by the light and everything that came with it. Here in the darkness he was safe, he knew who things worked and he was confident in himself.
Could he give that up for a chance at something more?
He just didn't know