Once upon a goddamn time there was a kingdom called Clanta Sarita led by two princesses: Jesse and Adam. Jesse seemed quiet and really nice, but she was really incredibly edgy and punk as fuck. She started by only watching horror movies and wearing Ramones t-shirts but soon enough she was wearing spikey jackets with patches of various punk bands whose names all sounded fake.

It worried her sister Adam, who was incredibly pure and beautiful. She began warning people about his sister, who one day decided she wanted to cause total anarchy, and make everything in Clanta Sarita edgy. Everything in the green kingdom later became black and there were skeletons all over the place.

It then came to Jesse's attention that by making everything edgy with her black magic that she ceased to be the only edgy person in Clanta Sarita, and she ran away, up to the tallest mountain in Aos Langeles County where she constructed a big castle of edginess where she would live and let the citizens go back to listening to Fall Out Boy.

But Adam realized she hated Fall Out Boy and was determined to get her sister back to Clanta Sarita. She was given a car by Karl, a rich noble man who wanted to bring Jesse back because she was the only one who ever understood Karl.

So Adam drove and kept driving until she ran out of gas somewhere in Fan Sernando where she couldn't drive anymore. Stranded, she wandered around afraid that there was a chance she would be raped by the many sketchy Mexicans who inhabited Fan Sernando.

Then, while shopping the local 7/11 for resources, she met a really skinny bugger named Edwin, who was getting around on his black coated reindeer named Braxton, who was always shackled with chains. He agreed to help Adam out if she agreed to receive all of Snapchats of his pubes without calling him disgusting.

Reluctantly, Adam agreed.

So the three were off to reach the highest mountain when they were stopped in Compton. A short snowman with tattoos of naked women named Vince kept bugging them until they agreed to buy his mixtape and say how fresh his fire-spitting was. Then he found out where they were going and, hating the edginess the new palace has caused to his turf which was relatively close, said he'd lead them to the castle.

After days and days of Braxton and Vince discussing how powerful Nas's music is, they finally reached the castle. Edwin, Braxton, and Vince waited outside while Adam went into the castle to retrieve her sister.

However, things didn't go as plan.

Jesse told Adam that the Velvet Underground was overrated and the Beatles weren't her type of music. Hurt by her words, Adam felt defenseless, and she was thrown out of the castle by Trent, Jesse's large, edgy creation. He told the rest of them that if they ever came back to annoy Princess Jesse, he would introduce them to MLP and get them so hooked that they will clop for the rest of eternity.

And not even Edwin was bizarre enough for that.

But Princess Adam fell into a deep depression. Edwin brought her to his family, a bunch of short rocks who all had the name of Ryan. They all loved the Beatles, and they motivated her to go back.

Alas, Princess Adam thought it was hopeless because of how stubborn her sister was, so she returned to Clanta Serita.

While there, she discussed things over with Karl, who just laughed. To Adam's confusion, it was all a part of Karl's master plan to rid the city of punk and make grunge the music to listen to, allowing Karl to be the edgiest person.

Feeling betrayed, Adam raced up to her sister who in turn felt like Karl was a pathetic loser. So the entire group, Princess Jesse, Princess Adam, Vince, Braxton, Edwin, and Trent, ran to Clanta Serita and all mocked Karl's favorite movie, The Cable Guy. This pissed Karl off so bad that he left Clanta Serita and fled to Seattle where all the edgy people live.

Princess Jesse and Princess Adam agreed that it doesn't matter what kind of music the people of Clanta Serita liked, as long as it wasn't Nickelback. So they ruled as leaders until Vince shot them in a drive by shooting and made himself the official MC for life.

The End