Taking Turns
By Hikari-san42
Universe: Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood
RATING: T because of a few major cuss words. Read at your own risk.
Pairings: None.
Warnings: Bad language, and twisted game interpretation. Read at your own risk.
Notes: This story is mainly a result of my extreme boredom and increasing love for the game this is based off of. But, no matter how much I may love the game, there are some flaws, and – like every other good Sonic fan – I must complain. But, unlike most others, I do it in fanfiction form, usually in the guise of a comedy.
So, that's where this came from. It is basically a CRACK FIC and Sonic's thoughts during one of the fights during the game. I must say that this game is one of the most frustrating Sonic games I've ever encountered (this frustration may stem from the fact that my RPG skills aren't that fantastic), and I've slogged through Eggmanland in Unleashed. (Gots an A on it. :D)
So, that's enough of my rambling. Enjoy the cracky goodness of the fic and be sure to leave me a nice present in review form when you leave.
o0o
"Amy…" Sonic muttered, placing a hand on the pink girl's forehead and pushing her away from him. "It's your turn."
The female hedgehog blinked once before smiling brightly and practically yelling, "Oh, right Sonic!" She shot him her sexiest smile – which looked absolutely hilarious on the twelve year old face – before prancing towards the SWAT Bot standing a few feet away and smacking it lightly with her hammer. A nice comical sound came from the Bot and Amy fell primly to her feet before walking prissily back to her place in line like she was the damn queen of some worthless country. As she passed, she held up a hand towards Big, palm facing towards him, and he got the idea after about two minutes of staring – which Sonic was forced to endure because it was the cat's fucking turn – before raising his arm and swinging at Amy in an attempt to high five her. He missed. Of course.
Sonic had no idea why some cultures thought cats were sacred and he was pretty sure that if they saw this one, they would all shoot themselves… or maim themselves, or - the best option of all – start a witch hunt and come take the purple thing away from this place. He wondered if they would take Amy too if he paid them…
Big carefully swung his… ehem… fishing pole (because that does a lot of damage apparently) at the Bot and the hook dug into the top of the robot's head easily. When he pulled back however, the thing didn't budge and Big yelped to himself, still feeling the taught line. He attempted to yank it off the Bot and a nice amusing tug-of-war started up between Big and the SWAT Bot. Eventually, however, the Bot got bored – or annoyed – and grabbed the line between its hands and tugged it towards itself. Big, not understanding the concept of let go was pulled along with it until he was right next to the huge machine. It looked down at him once before tapping him lightly on the head. He was out cold almost instantly.
ONE OF YOUR TEAM HAS BEEN K.O.'d. An annoyingly high pitched and slightly foreign voiced called out from nowhere. USE A REVIVAL ITEM TO BRING HIM BACK, EH.
Sonic felt his toes curl at the very possibility of having to listen to that cat's voice again. Let him stay on the ground for all he cared.
The blue hedgehog sighed again as he glanced towards Tails. His little fox friend was busy lounging on the ground between turns. He looked like he was sound asleep, but Sonic knew better. He was probably attempting to think a way out of this stupid thing.
Suddenly, one of the SWAT Bots shot forward at the speed of smell and tried to attack Amy. Unfortunately, the pink abomination was paying attention for once in her life – there wasn't a mirror or any type of reflective surface for her to stare at herself in – and she managed to dodge the attack. The other Bot tired to take advantage of their distraction and concern for their friend – Sonic wondered how much he was getting paid for standing here and thinking that – and attacked Tails, but the little fox was up on his feet faster than you could say 'Holy smokes what kinda crap is this' and into the air with his tails whirling behind him.
Sonic gave Tails a thumbs up as the robot fell back into his place beside its bastard brother (don't tell their father; it's a secret!), not even bothering to fall into a defensive stance. Sonic sighed before curling into a ball and launching himself towards the one that attacked Tails, silently hoping that the one that went after Amy got his blessing and encouragement to do it again. He bounced soundly off the breastplate and felt it dent a little under his considerably dull quills – he had been forced to let them dull for this adventure, since none of the battles would be any fun if he just sliced right through like he was supposed to.
As he landed he sighed as he felt the oppressive barrier form around him once again to keep him from attacking out of turn. It seemed God felt the need to play cruel games (get it games haha) with him these days. This style of battle was excruciatingly slow and he was never allowed to move beyond his allotted two-by-four space unless attacking.
"Chao!" Sonic glanced back over his shoulder towards the noise. The little accursed abomination (he liked that word) floating behind him sent him a glare for tempting the voice-from-above with his mutinous thoughts but did nothing to punish him. Usually, it attacked his precious face, scratching it beyond recognition. Tails would then have to come in and use some science stuff to his glorious pores and fix it. It really was annoying (though he slightly enjoyed it; the stuff Tails used was tingly).
"Hey, Sonic!" Sonic barely heard Tails through the testosterone filled haze he had gone into when his chao challenged him to a silent stare off. He broke away easily, considering himself the winner simply because he was bluer than his companion. "You wanna do that tornado thing?"
Sonic grinned; one good thing that had come out of this whole thing was the special moves each of them got to do. Tails and he got to do something he had dubbed in his mind as the 'Blue and Yellow Twisty Thing of Death Trick' where they both flew towards the enemies and walloped them so much their mamma never recognize them. He gave his little buddy a thumbs up before getting ready to jump into Tails waiting hands.
But, as he tensed, he felt the air constrict around him and he fell to the ground, his skull slamming on the ground and making a lovely hollow sound as it hit.
YOU HAVE NO PP LEFT, EH! That awful voice from before called out. USE A PP RESTORING ITEM TO DO THIS MANOUVER.
Sonic growled to himself, muttering about chickens and what they look like when their heads were chopped off, before getting off the ground and dusting himself off. Suddenly, a green leaf appeared in front of his face and he grabbed it before it could hit the ground.
"What the hell is this?" He rumbled, going into what he thought of as his intimidating voice but only succeeded in making himself sound like Shadow.
"I think it's a POW Leaf." Tails called from where he was balancing on his head, attempting to get the juices flowing faster.
"What do I do with it? Eat it?"
"No, I think you rub it all over your body, making the fan girls and sometimes boys scream in happiness."
"Ah…" Sonic muttered knowingly, not really understanding or comprehending at all. He sighed before grumbling and glancing towards the hibernating SWAT Bots. "HEY!" He yelled. One of the robots lifted its head slowly. "Get onto the nearest chic radio station and gimmie a beat. I can't do this without a jam."
The Bot nodded once before an antenna shot off its head and lodged itself into the ground a few feet away. It sparked once before starting to beep. The parent SWAT Bot then produced a pair of speakers from somewhere and a hokey sounding beat started to play.
"Apple, peaches, pumpkin pie. Who's not ready holler aye! Let's all play hide and see-"
"Nononono!" Sonic yelled, throwing out his hands in a very diva-esqu pose. "That's Polka! I wanted chic radio!"
The Bot nodded once before a different station flickered to life…
… and none other than Bounce by Aaron Carter flared to fill the ears of everyone in a ten mile radius.
There was a very girly scream from behind Sonic and then a thunk and Sonic scrambled around. There lying on the ground was Knuckles the Echidna, having snuck up on their battle at the wrong moment. Aaron Carter was his idol you see; because his was the only CD the young Echidna was allowed to listen to. (It happened upon freak accident, the CD flying up onto the floating island like some godsend.)
Sonic shook his head at his comatose friend, making a mental note to beat him later for leaving Tails' workshop without his permission.
Livin' it up
Cause we're here to party
With a bouncey, bouncey
Gonna make you happy
Playin' the disco bongo with me
And a bouncey, bouncey
Come dance with me
Suddenly, Sonic felt the undeniable urge to dance as the chorus of the song blasted its way into existence and he did so, shaking everything his momma gave him while rubbing the leaf all over his blue body.
Sometime around the bridge, Amy's head exploded and Tails died of embarrassment, but that was alright, because Sonic was showing them all his superior dancing skillz and it wasn't his fault they couldn't handle them.
Then, just as the song ended, the leaf disintegrated in his hand having been depleted off all energy by the possible raping it had just received and a different voice range out this time.
YOU'VE GOT POW POINTS.
Sonic felt himself go faint as a blue Chao floated towards him, a wind-up key sticking out of its back, rambling in its annoying high pitched voice.
YOU'VE GOT POW CANDY.
YOU'VE GOT A CHAO.
YOU'VE GOT A CHAOS EMERALD.
YOU'VE GOT THE LIGHTSPEED SHOES.
The last thing Sonic saw before his world went black was Tails twitching in his half dead state, as if the very presence of Omochao made him twist in his nonexistent grave.
o0o
Whoo… Reading that through now makes me realize how forced it sounded. I'm annoyed at myself now.
Ah well. Beggars can't be choosers.
There may be a possible continuation to this, if I get enough of a response.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything recognizable in this story, whether it be game allusions, song lyrics, or characters exploited. I am not making money off this in any way as I am a lowly high school student. All recognizable material belongs to its respectable owners.
Shoot me a review and tell me that you thought! I'll try to reply.