Waiting for my Turn
Chapter One: A Place to Call Home"Swear to me! Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true."
Then there was the awkward pause. He knew he could never tell her the truth, but it felt so bad to lie to her. After several long seconds he knew what to do.
"I swear."
He was waiting for her to see right through his lie and call him out on it, but instead she just looked into his eyes and said, "Okay."
And that was it. She seemed to have accepted his answer, but still insisted on walking a few feet behind him and barely responding to anything he would say. Joel stopped a few times and asked if she was okay, but all he'd ever get was a nod or a quiet "yes" while Ellie stared at the ground. As much as it hurt him to see her like this he knew it would take her a good, long while before she accepted what Joel had told her. She had to learn to accept that she wasn't the one. She wasn't the cure for mankind. Her journey really was for nothing.
As Ellie followed behind Joel and whacked at the grass with a stick she did her best to look at the bright side of things. Although she had lost so much along the way she managed to gain something, or someone she knew would always take care of her: Joel. While they continued on their trek to Tommy's compound she couldn't help but kind of stare at Joel, who had caught the hint earlier and was giving her space. She still wasn't sure whether or not she believed him about the Fireflies, but she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
They arrived at Tommy's compound just after dark. Joel looked back at Ellie just to make sure she was alright. He was certain she gave him a little half-grin when she answered. She hadn't smiled since Joel told her the lie. Joel rang the huge bell placed over the door and was soon greeted by Tommy and Maria.
"Big brother, how the hell ya been? We were worried you wouldn't make it back!" Tommy shouted as she pulled Joel in for a hug.
"Ellie, Ellie is that you, kiddo? Have you grown? I think you've grown, dear!" Maria said as she ran over and forced a hug upon her. Ellie only hugged back at first to be nice, but then she realized she really needed that hug. After that she just kind of melted into Maria's arms for a few seconds.
"Are y'all hungry? We were just about to sit down for supper anyway. We've got plenty! Whaddaya say? Y'all are lookin' kinda skinny!" Tommy asked with his arm around Joel's neck.
"I reckon I could eat something." Joel said before turning to Ellie. "How about you, kiddo?"
"You kiddin' me? I'm fuckin' starving! I mean… yes, I'm hungry. Sorry, Maria." Ellie apologized, something Joel has never seen her do in the ten months they've spent together.
Maria laughed and roughed up Ellie's hair and said, "That's okay. You don't have to worry about that stuff here. No one's perfect. Now let's go get some "fuckin'" grub, huh?"
Ellie and Maria laughed as Maria opened the door to the compound with the boys following close behind.
"Oh my god, that smells so good!" Ellie exclaimed as she took a seat at the table.
"Thanks! It's just something I put together." Maria replied modestly as she made plates for everyone.
"Don't let her be modest now! Maria's a damn fine cook!" Tommy said as he took his place at the table.
"Sure smells like it. Thank ya ma'am. Ellie" Joel yelled when he noticed she was already shoveling food into her mouth.
"What?" She asked with her mouth full of food.
"It's rude to eat before everyone's been served! What if Tommy and Maria wanna say Grace or somethin'?" Joel scolded.
"Let the girl eat, Joel! She's skin and bones. She needs all she can get and she needs it now." Maria scolded Joel for scolding Ellie.
"Yes ma'am!" Joel surrendered.
"That goes for you too! EAT!" Maria demanded.
"You don't gotta tell me twice." Joel exclaimed as he dug into his meat.
"Whoa, slow down, it ain't gonna run away now! So how long y'all plannin' on staying?" Tommy asked before taking a bite of his carrots.
"I dunno. How long will you have us?" Joel answered after swallowing a chunk of potato.
"C'mon, you know better than that shit! We can set you up permanently if y'all are ready to settle down. You'll both have to help out, of course. You'll have to help with watches and Ellie'll have to tend the horses." Tommy winked at Ellie when she looked over at him and smiled. "We only have one room right now, so y'all will have to share for a while. That gonna be alright?"
"Most of it sounds good, but I don't know if I trust Ellie around your horses just yet." Joel looked down the table to see if what he said had any effect on her.
"Come on, man! That was a onetime thing! I promise I'll be good! Pleeeeeaaaaasssssse!" Ellie begged.
"Alright. Sounds good." Joel said with a little laugh. "Ellie and I are used to sharing rooms anyway."
"She's gonna need her own room eventually, Tommy. She's, I'm sorry, how old are you, honey?" Maria asked.
"I'm fifteen. I just had a birthday a few weeks ago." Ellie answered.
"You had a birthday and you didn't tell me? Why didn't you tell me?" Joel asked, sounding a little upset.
"Do they even matter anymore, Joel? Do they really?" Ellie answered his question with more questions as she continued to eat and drink.
"Of course they do!" Joel answered.
"Why? No one celebrates anything anymore? Who gives a shit?" Ellie continued with the questions as she began to become angry.
"Well, I, I would've… I just would've liked to have known. When was it?" Joel asked carefully, trying to settle the situation.
"April 23rd, when's yours?" Ellie asked with her voice raised, but not quite yelling.
"June 13th." Joel answered.
"June 13th? Wasn't that the day the infection really started taking over?" Ellie asked, more curious than angry at that point.
"Yup, happened in 2013. Happy birthday, right?" Joel tried to joke, but it was obvious that it wasn't funny to him.
"I'm so sorry, Joel." Ellie said quietly as she stood up from the table.
"Don't worry about it, kid. I'd like to check out that room now if you don't mind." Joel replied while putting his hand on Tommy's shoulder.
"Yeah, alright, I'll show y'all to it. Ya coming, girl?" Tommy asked Ellie.
"No, if it's alright I'm gonna stay here with Maria for a while."
"That's fine, kiddo. She can show you to the room whenever you'd like. Oh, and Ellie… welcome home."
"Home… I think I like the sound of that. Thanks, Tommy."
Tommy nodded as he went outside to find Joel picking up rocks and tossing them into the river. They walked together in silence for quite a while before Tommy couldn't take it any longer.
"So, uh, we're working on having running water. We've been sending out crews to find pipes that are still usable. It's taken a long time, but we're pretty sure we've got enough to get it going. We should have enough to at least get two showers going soon. I'm not so sure if we'll ever be able to rig up hot water, though. We might be S.O.L on that one. Hopefully we'll get a few toilets too. Isn't that something? Electricity AND running water? We're getting there, brother!"
"Yeah, it's somethin' all right." Joel said quietly as he moped along.
"Hey… what happened when you got to the Fireflies? I'm assuming you got to them, right?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? What the fuck do you mean nothing?"
"I mean nothing happened. We got to UEC and they weren't there, but we found a recorder that told us they were at a hospital in Salt Lake City. So we went there, and by the time we made it they had stopped looking for a cure. They said they had found other immunes and tried what they were going to try on Ellie and got nowhere with it. So the whole goddamn trip was for nothing! There is no cure for mankind! The best we can hope for is that those damn things die off someday."
"After they die off there's still the problem with rebuilding society. The world's fucked, Joel."
"There's that too."
"Yeah. So what about Ellie? Is she a replacement for…"
"Don't start with me! I'm all she's got now." Joel raised his voice.
"Alright, alright, calm down! It's good that you've taken her in. I think y'all are good for each other. Lord works in mysterious ways, ya know? He decided to give you a teenager instead of a wife!" Tommy teased as he slapped Joel's back and unlocked the door to the room he and Ellie would be staying in. "It's not much, but y'all got a couple of cots and a place to make a fire… not that you'll be needing it right now."
"Thanks, baby brother, we really do appreciate this." Joel said while pulling Tommy in for a hug. "We've been through hell over the last ten months. I think we can finally feel safe here, maybe even call this place home."
"You damn well better call it home!" Tommy shouted. "It's not perfect, but it's as close to a normal society as you're gonna get in the world we live in now. This is what I like to call "our little piece of Earth on Hell."
They both laughed and hugged again and then Tommy left. Joel picked which cot would be his as he lay down and did his best to make himself comfortable. It didn't take long before he decided he didn't like the cot and would be better off on the floor. Not long after finding a nice spot on the worn-out carpet he had fallen asleep. He was too out of it to notice Ellie come in a little while later.
"AAAAAH! Get off of me, you fucking bastard! Don't touch me! Leave me alone, you motherfucker! Get the fuck off of me, you fucking goddamn sick bastard!"
Joel sprung out of his sleep and looked over to see Ellie kicking and punching at the air with her eyes closed and tears running down her face. This had become quite normal for her. Joel wished it didn't have to be. He ran across the room and started shaking her violently until she woke up and realized it was just another dream.
"Oh baby girl!" Joel said gently as he scooped her up and held her in his arms. He pulled her closer into his chest and kept whispering "It's alright. It was only a dream. He can't hurt you anymore." Ellie's natural instinct would usually be to push away from such an embrace, but for some reason she welcomed just as she welcomed Maria's hug. She buried her face in Joel's shoulder and cried, not because she was scared or angry, but for some other reason she couldn't understand yet.
Joel spent the rest of the night watching her sleep, or try to. Even though she didn't have any more nightmares she still found it difficult to get back to a peaceful sleep. A few hours later she finally gave up trying and rolled to look over at Joel, who was still watching her like a hawk.
"Joel?" Ellie whispered out of habit.
"You should be tryin' to sleep. You alright?" Joel replied as he rolled onto his back and put his hands underneath his head.
"I know, but I can't. Do you – do you think there will be kids my age around here?" She asked, speaking a little louder. "I didn't see any last time we were here."
"Well we were only here for a few hours last time, Ellie!" Joel laughed. "I can't make any promises or anything, but I'll bet there are. I'm pretty sure this place has quite a few people in it. Surely some of them have kids. I'll bet you'll be making friends in no time. I do have one rule if you do start making friends though."
"Rules? Really? Okay, lay it on me." Ellie groaned.
"Don't be stealing Tommy's horses and taking off to make out with some boy, you hear me?" Joel tried to make it sound like he was teasing, but deep down he meant it.
With that being said they both bursting out laughing and Ellie agreed with an ever-so-sarcastic, "Oh yeah! I'll be good, I promise!" Eventually the laughter died down and then there was awkward silence. Joel had come to realize that Ellie was lonely even if she had him to rely on. Although their time was brief, she really enjoyed having Sam around. Ellie realized that there were things about her that she may never be able to explain to Joel. She worried that he may not accept her whenever the truth came out.