It's stupid-funny, okay? Don't expect anything profound.
America's Awesome Idea for World Peace
"Guys, guys. I've got the greatest idea ever." America grinned, picking up the chalk and starting on a chalkboard drawing.
The select few countries present looked around at each other, not expecting much.
"It's going to make the whole world come together, and live in peace, and everyone will know that I, America, united the world with my great idea, like the hero I am." He turned to the small crowd and gave a huge, cheesy thumbs-up.
They could now make out that the drawing somewhat resembled Switzerland. The head was a bit lumpy, and one arm was longer than the other, but Switzerland's defining features were distinguishable. Next to him was a question mark that matched him in size.
America looked rather proud of himself for it, too.
"So. You know how Switzerland never gets in fights with anyone?"
"You are going to find out his secret? I am wonderful at finding out secrets!" France piped up, with a grin.
"Well, no…"
"You're going to be more like him and stop getting involved in everyone else's business?" That was Japan.
"Of course not! I'm the hero! The world's business is my business!" America answered, a gallant sparkle in his eye.
Canada raised a hand and tried to say something, but nobody heard him, and also England started talking over him.
"You're going to have him give a presentation on the benefits of neutrality at the next meeting?" guessed the Brit.
"No! First of all, your idea is boring as hell, as always. So just let me make the plans, alright? And B, I'm getting to it. Hold on! Patience is a virtue, you know."
"But you're never patient…"
"Ssh! Do you want to hear my plan or not?"
"Not really, America."
"Well, no one cares. Anyhow. So, here it goes." He pointed at the picture.
"We get someone… To attack Switzerland!"
Silence fell over the room, every eye on the beaming America, until England spoke.
"Then what?"
"No, no that's it."
"So… You want to attack the most peaceful country on Earth… To promote peace." Japan summarized, quietly.
"Well, yeah. See, because, it's sooo wrong and unfair to attack Switzerland, who's never done anything to anyone," He drew a large X over Switzerland, "that everyone else will come to his rescue and unite against whoever attacked in the first place." He circled the question mark and drew arrows all around it. "Then after they've obliterated that country completely off the map," At which point, he erased the question mark, "we'll all still be united, and live together in peace and harmony." Which was represented on the board by a smiley face, surpassed only in size by America's own obnoxiously large smile as he turned back to the countries. "Because nothing brings people together like a common enemy! So who wants to be the common enemy?" He looked across the room, expectantly, as the other countries avoided his eyes.
Silence, and a few minutes of intense scrutiny of each other's dress shoes ensued.
Finally England answered, his tone serious and earnest: "First of all, that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Second, I volunteer France."
-
What the hell was that? :/
No but really, a friend and I actually had a discussion about what would happen if someone attacked Switzerland, (It was her idea, I swear.) and I'm like 'Hm, I could see this being a scene from Hetalia.' Hopefully you guys got a bit of a laugh out of this, as it was fun to write something so quick and silly and pointless. Ah, also, this was so not meant to offend anyone. If it does, I will gladly take it down.
-Love, Rosalina