Hey guys

Hey guys! Its been awhile since I've turned out another Kingdom Hearts story, and this is actually my first oneshot…It was inspired for some reason by Too Late To Apologize at 2 in the morning. Be forewarned it is rather depressing and Sora and Riku might seem slightly OOC…. But please tell me what you think by reviewing!

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Riku sniffed as he stared through the warmly lit window. The rain cascaded down upon him plastering his hair to forehead and his back. The silver rain also obscured the tears running down his face as he watched the love of his life woo another. And as he stood there his mind flashed, unwillingly, back to the moment his personal hell had began four years ago…….

"Come one Riku!! You're gonna be late if you don't hurry!!" Mrs. Oyanabu yelled up the stairs hoping that her son would hurry.

"I'm hurrying, god, just give me a second!!" A very rude, fourteen year old, Riku Oyanabu yelled down at his mother. He was currently pacing his room trying to find a good enough outfit to wear for his first day at his new school. Finally he decided on a pair of his girl cut jeans and a slightly tight Jonzetta shirt. Grabbing his messanger bag he bounded down the stairs two at a time and sped into the kitchen to find his mom holding out a piece of toast to him. "Thanks, bye mom!" And with that Riku was out the door hauling ass to Sterling High.

Riku was a nervous wreck about going to this new school, though he did his best to hide it. He began to worry when he reached the school and saw how empty the courtyard was. Looking at his watch he began chanting to himself, "Fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm so late! Fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm sooooooo late!!" He bounded through Sterling High's entrance and in to the principals office to pick up his schedule, right as the first bell to go to class rang.

"So Mister Oyanabu, late already?" A portly man with severe balding scowled down at Riku.

"Sorry sir, missed the bus." Riku hoped his poor excuse would fly. Sadly, it didn't.

"Apparently you're not aware that we don't even have a bussing system on this island are you?" Riku squirmed under the mans sarcastic gaze. But soon the man relaxed and sighed. "My name is Yakuta Shigemasu, but you can call me Mr. Shigemasu. This really isn't a good way to start off the year Mister Oyanabu."

"Really, sir, I am sorry. I promise it won't happen again." Riku hoped that he would get off with a warning seeing as how he was new here and it was his first offense.

"See that it doesn't." Mr. Shigemasu turned his swivel chair away from Riku and said nothing more on the subject, just rummaged through what looked like an extremely overused filing cabinet. Turning back around he handed a small packet of paper to Riku. "This is your schedule for this year, a map of the school and the school handbook." And with that the principal dismissed Riku with a wave of his hand. Definitely not needing to be told twice, Riku high-tailed it out of the office and into the brightly lit corridor. Looking at his schedule he found that he had Biology first thing, then pulled out his map and looked around, spinning in a complete trying to get his bearings.

"Screw it." Muttering to himself he stuffed the map in his back pocket and began to wander down the corridor this right hoping that he would find the science wing.

XxXx-One Hour Later-xXxX

"Dammit!!" Riku cursed as he found himself back at the same place he started. He hadn't seen anyone he could ask for directions nor had he found anything that remotely resembled the science wing. Riku flounced back against the wall and sank down into a crouch with his map. He didn't even notice the pair of giant ridiculous yellow shoes when they stopped in front of him.

"Ummmm…Are you lost dude?" Riku started, his head snapped up to stair into the most amazing blue eyes he had ever seen. The eyes were framed in long dark eye lashes and they were currently looking at him quizzically.

"Haha, yea kinda. Your school is so damn confusing." The boy laughed as he helped Riku out of his crouch.

"Yea, its kinda hard to get used to. I'm still having trouble finding my way around as well. So trust me when I say that you're not the only one." The brunette smiled and Riku's breath caught in his throat. He almost had to choke out his next few words.

"So, I'm Riku. What's your name?"

"I'm Sora, and it's nice to meet you!" Sora stretched out his hand so Riku could shake it.

Riku turned his back on the scene before. He couldn't stand the sight of his Sora coupling with their other best friend, Kairi. He walked slowly through the rain soaked night contemplating what there was for him now that his only reason for existence, his only hope, had shattered right before his eyes. Soon he found he had made his way to the comforting shoreline that had escaped to during many a rough night. But it provided none of its usual comfort this night. He sat and watched the waves as the rain began dissipate his tears still flowed freely. And as twisted as it was, he was disgusted at himself for showing such weakness. That disgust sending him into a downward spiral depression and then getting even more disgusted at himself for being depressed.

When the sun finally broke over the horizon Riku had made up his mind. He simply had no will to live. He felt that he had nothing to live for now that his love was with another. He stayed at the beach for a few more hours waiting for a convenience store to open up. Finding an open Seven Eleven, he went in and found what he was looking for, and as he waited for the clerk to ring him up, his mind flashed back to past again, this time it unmercifully took to two weeks ago, when his entire world fell apart.

"Come on, Sora! I know you can do better than that!" Riku side-stepped the poorly aimed perrie from Sora and slammed his wooden weapon into the burnette back knocking him down.

"Ow! Dammit Riku! Can't you try an pull your hits a little?" The brunette donned his famous pout, the one that melted Riku down from the inside. Riku chuckled as he helped Sora up.

"Alright, I guess that's enough for now." Riku moved gracefully over the paopu tree and hoped on it. Sora followed suit, leaning beside where Riku was sitting. I comfortable silence ensued, as the two just stared out at the ocean. But soon the silence was broken as both of them began to talk at once.

"Haha, sorry dude, go ahead say what you started." Ever the polite one, Sora conceded to Riku.

"Ha, ok. Well, Sora…There's something that's been on my chest for a while." Riku began to fidget, with Sora immediately noted.

"Go ahead Riku, you can tell me whatever it is." He smiled reassuringly at Riku, urging Riku to open up.

"Well, I uh…think…that I might be… uh… deep sigh…gay." Sora's eyes went wide when Riku's words finally registered.

"What makes you think that? I mean do you have a crush on one of the guys you know or something?" Sora's voice quivered with nervousness as her fervently hoped that it wasn't on him.

"Kinda…………" Riku mistook Sora's nervousness for excitement. And that fueled him onward in his confession. "I love you, Sora." Riku stared down at the paopu trunk and the answer that Riku got in return tore his heart in two.

"I...I-I can't do this, Riku. I want Kairi, don't come near me anymore." Riku felt as though he had been slapped with a ten ton wrecking ball. He couldn't pick his head up to look at Sora as he ran away from him.

Riku left the convenience store as he felt new tears welling up in his eyes. And soon he found himself back on the island that he and Sora had spared on, the island where he had confessed his love. He sat on the paopu tree all day, waiting to see if anyone would come and find him. He knew that it was juvenile, but it still hurt when no one came. He waited all day, and the sun had almost set by the time he had completely given up. He opened the bag he had gotten from the convenience store that morning and pulled out the razors.

He stared at them for a few minutes and then lazily dragged one across the skin of his forearm, just barely hard enough to draw some blood. He gasped at the sense of release it brought him and this pushed him to cut harder, deeper. Finally he slit his arm from the inside of his elbow to his wrist. It took some effort but he managed to slit the other arm as well. He bent down and scratched something in the sand with all his effort and hoped that Sora would find it before it was blown away by the wind. Then he laid back against the rough bark of the paopu tree as his mind offered him one last memory of a happier time before he told Sora what he was really feeling.

"Good God Riku!!" Sora jumped up and threw the controller down as he was beaten once again at Soul Caliber II. Riku chuckled as Sora paced.

"How the hell are you so fucking good at that game!?" The fire in Sora's eyes was one of the things that Riku loved about Sora. And right now that fire was directed at Riku.

"I have a lot of free time, and face it dude, you kinds suck at this game." Sora pouted on his bed. But soon he had formulated a plan to get Riku back.

"Woah! Riku! Look, I think a giant rat just ran into my closet!" Riku whipped his head around to see the rat, but only saw the floor as he felt Sora tackle his back. He easily flipped them around so that he was on top of Sora tickling him.

"Hahaha…Riku! This gasp wasn't supposed snort supposed to happen dammit!!" Sora flailed his arms and legs and bucked and he tried to Riku off of him. Riku however soon removed himself voluntarily as the friction Sora had been creating had triggered a rising problem. Riku rolled off of Sora and turned away from him as he tried to think of very unattractive images, and the problem soon went down. But Sora had already noticed that something was wrong. "Riku?! Are you ok?"

"Yea, I'm fine." Riku grabbed his stomach and turned back to Sora. "You just nailed me in the gut, that's all." Sora laughed.

"Well it serves you right" Soon the boys went back to killing each other in Soul Caliber II well into the night. They were asleep by dawn.

Riku felt a tear slid down his cheek as he realized that they would never have that again whether he died or not. Sora couldn't stand him anymore. The fact that he had avoided him for the past two weeks told him as much.

Soon, Riku's head was too cloudy to think. And he couldn't tell if the sun was setting or if his vision was dimming. But either way a sun was setting. And his sun would never dawn another day. Then he heard something and thought his imagination was playing tricks on him.

"RIKU!!" He heard Sora's voice in the distance. And soon Sora's face hovered about him. "Riku?! What did you do to yourself?!" Riku stared up at Sora's face and with his last breath whispered to him.

"I'm so sorry, my love. Maybe…..gasp…we can…meet….again." And as his eyes closed and his vision faded, so did the vision of a Sora who cared for him.

Sora ran down the gangplank praying to god that Riku was just sleeping. He had been worried ever since Riku's mother called saying that Riku hadn't been home in about two days. They had looked everywhere for him, but only Sora had thought to check their island. And as he got closer to Riku, he noticed the dried and crusting red on his arms and on the ground under him. Sora felt tears well up in his eyes as he realized that Riku wasn't breathing.

Looking around he noticed something glinting on the ground in the morning sun. Picking it up, Sora's breath caught in his throat. It was a razor. Sora fell to his knees in front of the tree. He gasped for breath as his tears fell, his head was reeling from guilt at the last thing he had said to Riku. When he opened his eyes Sora was staring at the ground. He noticed something was scratched there into the dirt, he choked again as he realized that it was Riku's last message to him.

' Sora,

I'm sorry I fucked up so royally. Please, live a happy life with your precious Kairi. And know that we will meet again in another life. And that I will always love you.'

Sora stood up off the ground and turned to the once vibrant youth. He choked on a few more tears and stroked Riku's face and hair. And even though he knew Riku couldn't hear them Sora leaned in and whispered his good-bye in Riku's ear.

"Good-bye, I can't wait to meet you again. Maybe then it will work out differently. Good-bye, my friend."