A/N: This is a rather old-ish kind of fic. I think, anyway. I'm not sure when I wrote it to be certain, but that hardly matters now, does it? It hasn't been beta'd so excuse mistakes and inconsistencies. I think it's still okay though all the same.

This is a... hmm... 'strong' fic? It has some strong emotions in it anyway. It was requested by Magnet-chan last year sometime. She'd had the idea/dream or something and asked if I could write it up. I did and just decided to post it.

Rating: M

Pairing: LuZoLu

Summary: Luffy has finally returned home from a war that, though he is in fact home, never seems to end.

Disclaimer: Okay, you got me. I'm Eiichiro Oda. YAHTZEE. NOT. *insert more witty remarks about not owning One Piece, here.*

Homecoming

Home.

How long had he been away from here? Been off fighting in that godforsaken dog scrap that made his life flash by his eyes every five minutes. Those times sitting in muddy, stinking trenches and playing poker with the small group that he'd been banished to that Hell with. He would never ever have been able to stay sane while he'd been there if not for them. While he'd been there though... he'd missed someone he loved terribly. Every day was not only the sounds of gunshots and rattling artillery but it included the stabbing pain of not being able to see his loved one.

His Zoro.

Then, the war had ended as abruptly as it had begun, and he'd been shipped home. Without any warning, without any thanks or gratitude. He was here. Standing in front of the door of their house and letting his fingers drum against his thigh as he wondered how his Zoro was going to react. Would he be angry? Happy? Sad? All of the above? He wasn't sure how Zoro would react but... in all honesty, he couldn't wait to find out. Stepping forward, Luffy let his knuckles rap lightly against the door and tilted his head a little when there was no response from inside.

"Oi! Zoro!" Luffy called, smiling a little and touching the handle. It was open... awesome. He could just go straight in then! Pushing the door open carefully, Luffy smiled widely as he spotted the familiar hallway. It was almost as if he'd never left. Almost. Dropping his duffel bag by the door as he walked in, the dark haired ex-soldier closed the door quietly after laying his rifle down beside his bag and then moved towards the entry to the kitchen and dining room combination, peeking his head in and humming softly to himself when he couldn't see any green hair anywhere.

At least nothing had changed though. God. How long had he been away? 2... 3 years? Something like that, surely. He was 18 when he left and he was... how old was he now? 21? That was right, 21. Zoro would be 23 now... Moving towards the bedroom instead, Luffy couldn't contain the wide grin that spread over his face when he saw his marimo asleep on the bed, exactly as he'd left him when he'd gone to war.

"Zoro!" He cried and dived onto the bed, earning himself a surprised grunt from his boyfriend. This was like old times... and he'd forgotten how good his boyfriend's body felt in his arms.

"Hnn?" Zoro groaned, sitting up and blinking blearily down at the boy laying in his lap. Slowly, it seemed to register just who it was laying there and his sleepy eyes widened almost incredibly before he snatched the other up and hugged him tightly.

"Luffy!" He managed, his voice almost breathless with shock and the dark haired one of the pair chuckled through his teeth, hugging the older man back just as tightly.

"Hiya! It's been a while, ne?"

"Damn straight it has! I didn't know the war ended or did you get shipped home...? What're you doing here?" Zoro questioned and Luffy had never heard the other so full of energy.

"Mou, Zoro." Luffy huffed, pulling away with a fake pout, "I thought you'd just be happy I was back, not questioning why I was here and everything." Snorting, the taller hugged Luffy tightly again and then let him go completely, only resting his hand on the other's knee so as to be sure he really was there.

"I... I am happy you're back." Zoro nodded and hugged Luffy once more before tugging back far enough to kiss the other. Luffy had forgotten how good this felt... to feel his significant other so close to him, and his arms around him... lips upon his. His taste, smell, the bright green of his eyes. His hair... everything. During the war he'd been able to remember it in his head as if he were looking at a 2D picture. The feelings he'd had when with Zoro, he knew they'd been there but in his heart they were mere echoes of what they were really.

Nothing ever really felt as good as being with the other. Nothing. God, he could take the other right now as well. He'd been true to Zoro, never sleeping with anyone else and always pining for his boyfriend. Now that he was home though... there was 3 years of this to make up for as well. As the kiss became more passionate, faster and more heated, Luffy pushed his boyfriend back to the bed.

"Make up time, ne?" he chuckled against the other's throat and Zoro snorted a little.

"Definitely." The first time was quick and rough, heated and passionate and it was any wonder if the people next door hadn't heard them, the racket they made. Powerful emotions and movements as if they were desperate to complete themselves this way before time was stolen from them again. After that, they showered and then lay side by side on the bed and simply talked about what had happened during the past few years. About Zoro's life and about Luffy's, how it had been agony to be apart and then being back together was a surreal reality. How time seemed short even though now they had all the time in the world they could possibly imagine. They talked until the sun went down and then made out again, this time slower. Savouring every moment and feeling and touch. Every breath stolen from already tired lungs and every kiss planted on sweat beaded skin. This couldn't be real. Everything was too fantastic, too wonderful. A dream.

But all dreams must end, and soon, Luffy's and Zoro's did.

At first it was simple things that Zoro noticed in his boyfriend. Like checking the corners every now and again when going around them. Everything else was okay though. Luffy was happy, and their time was well spent together. Over time though, the simple things became steadily worse. At first Zoro noticed Luffy was taping tissues or pillows to the bottom of his feet in order to sneak around the house. When he asked why the kid was doing it, Luffy had just shrugged and said he didn't want the enemies to hear them. The taller of the two had ignored this behaviour for the most part... until it got much much worse. Zoro had been sleeping quite contently when his internal radar that had adjusted to his boyfriend being beside him now, went off to tell him that Luffy wasn't there anymore, and the marimo had sat up and looked around.

"Na...? Luffy?" He asked sleepily, yawning and scratching at his green hair before getting up and padding down the hall, blinking softly when he heard muttering and the slight clinking and squeak of metal. What in the world...? Moving to the door to the lounge room, Zoro frowned a little at the darkness.

"Dont take another step closer, dog." Zoro blinked at the voice. It was a familiar voice, but the tone of it was different than he'd ever heard. It was low and gravelly and dangerous. Warning him to stay back.

"... Ah... Luffy?" Zoro muttered, blinking in the darkness until finally he spotted the glint of something near to the window and he frowned slightly, "What're you doing...? It's three in the morning..."

"Oh! Zoro, it's you!" Luffy chirped, popping up and grinning at his boyfriend, letting his rifle point at the floor rather than the other, "I thought you were the enemy... You should be careful, y'know. They're everywhere." Zoro blinked a little at that, frowning slightly and then moving into the lounge room to take the smaller shoulders between his hands.

"Luffy... the war is over. There are no enemies here. Just you, me, and the rat that scratches in the ceiling every now and again. That's all." he said, trying to calm the other so nothing drastic would happen here.

"Zoro...?" Luffy whispered in the dark and then hummed, "The war is over... ne... of course." There was an odd little chuckle in the silence of the night and the older man felt his heart wrench for his boyfriend. What had happened to him out there? Was Luffy really going crazy? He wasn't sure what had happened, but he knew that he had to stop this before his love ended up going off the deep end.

"Ne. It's over, Luffy. Everything's gonna be okay, now." Zoro smiled, tugging the other close to him and nuzzling his face against the dark hair, taking in the scent and smiling more at it. He loved the smell of the other's hair... aside from when Luffy couldn't be bothered washing it for weeks and weeks on end.

"It's over..." Luffy breathed before dropping his rifle on the couch and then wrapping his arms tightly around the older male and barely restraining a sob as he pressed his face against the taller man's shoulder, "It's over...!"

"Ne... it's over, Luffy." Zoro sighed, threading his fingers through the younger boy's hair and petting him gently, "Come on... come back to bed now, ne?" Tugging the other gently, Zoro led him back to their bed again and let the other continue clinging to him as they lay there. Soon after, Luffy fell asleep and Zoro sighed softly, looking to the window and watching the sky lighten as the sunrise began.

"... The battle might be over but..." Zoro turned his eyes back to Luffy again and continued petting the ebony hair, "... the war really has only begun, huh?"

From then on, things became less euphoric and more depressive. Zoro often came home from work to find Luffy making a bunker out of tables and pillows, with his rifle set up and ready. Every time, it took him longer and longer to convince the other that there were no enemies, and the war was over. Every time Luffy believed him and trusted him, but then went off into his own little world again. Zoro was starting to wonder if his boyfriend had gone insane. He hoped not.

The dark haired veteran often didn't sleep at night, instead seeking shelter in the lounge room and piecing his gun together rhythmically, all night long. Soon the soft clinks of metal on metal became a common noise to hear at night, and Zoro stopped paying attention to it. He'd tried to get Luffy to quit, to come back to bed many times but it didn't ever sink in with the brat. So he'd stopped trying, and now just slept through the night to find Luffy awake, dark circles under his eyes but his face no less alert and on guard. From there he'd manage to convince the other that he was there for the next watch and Luffy could sleep now. It was the only way he figured he could get through to the kid, was to play Luffy's little game.

The only thing Luffy did that was normal, was the kid slept like a baby. Zoro couldn't understand that, considering how the trauma had affected him so badly but then he'd read something interesting. Normal people had bad dreams, sleep disruptions every now and again. Traumatised people had nightmares and didn't sleep well, but lived moderately normal lives. Luffy. Fit into neither of those categories... and the thing Zoro had read, fit the kid almost perfectly. Insanity had a multitude of meanings but one in particular caught Zoro's interest. An article on people from the war going insane. Battle fatigue as it was called.

He also read that insane people slept like dead logs. That's what Luffy did. He didn't have nightmares or bad dreams, he had nothing. He just slept. Zoro left him alone because it was the only time he could get some time to himself. As selfish as he felt, he couldn't handle the kid being so damn weird all the time anymore. It was miserable, to have to live like this. He wanted his Luffy back, the cheerful, cheeky, perverted brat who annoyed the hell out of him but he loved him to death all the same. Not this... shell of a man who sat in corners and imagined enemies stalking his every move. It disturbed him to see his boyfriend so traumatised by everything that had happened. Made him feel like he hadn't been good enough to him. If he had, then none of this would've happened. He would've been able to soothe the other's fears, but no.

Luffy had gone insane, that was the only explanation for it. This theory was proven shortly after. The day had started out normal, Luffy had even seemed himself. Smiling and cheerful as he'd made toast for the two of them. Zoro was yawning widely at the table and trying to wake himself up without much success when Luffy had dropped the plate the toast was on and had bolted from the room, yelling his name. Well this was interesting and new. Wasn't the real thing still sitting at this table? Last time he'd looked he was Zoro, but then again maybe he was mistaken after all? Sighing softly, the marimo headed man got back to his feet and started following after the kid, blinking when Luffy was pointing his gun at an invisible force in the lounge room and telling it to let go of Zoro.

"Luffy... I'm here..." the older man muttered quietly, but frowned when the other didn't listen to him. What was this? Rambo? Snorting at his own thoughts, Zoro moved into the lounge room but hit the floor just as quickly when Luffy shot at something and destroyed the couch. Growling under his breath, the older of the two stayed on the floor, listening as his boyfriend played out some invisible scenario. Something about some guy named Kaji, had a hold of him apparently and Luffy was trying to save him. There were a few more shots, Luffy let out a yell and then silence as the kid panted softly after his episode. Next thing, Zoro felt a soft hand on his back and lifted his head to look up into the concerned dark eyes. Concerned, but... unseeing.

"It's okay, Zoro... he wont get you now. He was the enemy and he tried to hurt you..." Luffy said quietly, lacing his fingers through the green hair and then tugging the older man up so he could hug him, "Shh... it's okay now, Zoro." This... was wrong. Zoro could feel everything was wrong. This was his Luffy, definitely. He knew his boyfriend would protect him no matter what but for him to go off like this... he felt sorry for the other but he couldn't take this anymore!

"Off..." Zoro muttered, nudging Luffy away from him and getting to his feet, "I've had enough, Luffy! Enough! You've gone crazy, the war's screwed you up, you need help. I'm gonna take you to the doctors, and they're gonna help you, because I can't." Luffy blinked up at his boyfriend, rifle held loosely in his hand and he hummed softly.

"Zoro... I think you're the one who's gone crazy. We're still in the war..." he pouted a little before ducking some invisible sound and tugging Zoro down with him, "Shh... they're out there."

"Argh!" Zoro growled in frustration, reefing himself out of Luffy's grip and getting to his feet to glare down at the other, "You're not right in the head! I feel sorry for you, Luffy, I really do... but you can't keep going like this... you're gonna kill yourself!" Luffy stared at him in pure and utter shock before his eyes narrowed and he slowly got to his feet, slowly pointing the rifle at his boyfriend's head, though... in Luffy's mind, all he saw was another enemy. Another face.

"You're not Zoro. You tricked me... made me think I'd killed you and then pretended to be him. Zoro's at home, he loves me, and he wouldn't ever speak to me like that." Luffy growled, his voice low and scary. Zoro, for the first time ever since he'd entered this relationship, felt truly scared for his life. He wasn't scared of death, not by any means, he was more scared of how Luffy would react when the other realised what he had done.

"Luffy. I'm Zoro. It's me. Put the gun down, ne?" he spoke carefully and firmly to the kid, keeping his hands up and in sight so he wouldn't look like a threat.

"No!" Luffy snorted, "You're not Zoro! I'm far away from him! I miss him and love him and I want to go home!" There were tears in the boy's eyes as he spoke but his voice was cold and unwavering. Emotionless. A trait that he'd obviously had forced upon him during those war times.

"Luffy... I'm right here. You're home... please... put the gun down...?" Zoro tried again, swallowing nervously and trying to shift so he'd be out of range of the other, "You dont want to do this, Luffy... please... put. The gun. Down."

"Shut up!" Luffy hissed, his eyes dark and cold, "This war. You're the enemy, you're the reason we're here. If I kill you, then maybe, maybe I'll be able to go home and see him again... I'm tired. I'm cold. ... And you're dead." The moment seemed to pass both in slow motion and all too quickly for Zoro's eyes to follow, as Luffy's finger squeezed the trigger of the rifle and he felt a brief flash of pain... and then everything went black. Luffy panted heavily from where he was standing, glaring at the form of his enemy that was laying on the floor.

"Tch." he snorted at the body before moving for the door after placing his rifle down again. This was over. Done. Now he could go home. Moving into the kitchen, he grabbed himself a drink and then paused slightly, narrowing his eyes at it.

"... Cola..." He mumbled to himself and slid his thumb over the cool surface of the can, "I'm home." Realisation struck then as a wide smile spread over his face, his heart skipping a beat. Was his Zoro here? He had to be! Somewhere... probably sleeping! Grinning widely, Luffy bounced out of the kitchen and looked around.

"Zoro! Zozo-kun!" He called, chuckling at the nickname because he knew how much the other hated it. Luffy stopped and blinked though when he got no response... that nickname always prompted a response. He turned on the spot and then paused for a second when he saw a leg laying in the doorway near to him, the rest of the body hidden by the wall.

"Ah! There you are! Are you sleeping again?" Luffy smiled and moved to the door, peeking into the room, "... Zoro?" His stomach dropped, his blood running cold at the sight before him. Zoro lay spread eagle on the floor, his head lolled to one side and his chest glistening bloody red in the slowly setting sun from outside. A shadow lay over the man's face, his mouth held in a frown.

"... Zoro...?" Luffy's voice was meek and powerless in the silent house, his hand clenching on the door frame before he pounced on his boyfriend, dropping to his knees by the man's side, "Zoro? Zoro come on, you're alive, ne? It's okay. You're gonna be okay." Dropping his face to the other's, Luffy planted his mouth over Zoro's and started performing CPR, hoping to get the other breathing but, the warmth was fleeing his boyfriend's body quickly, and his heart was as silent as the house around them. Zoro was dead. Luffy pulled away from him and sat back against the couch, resting a bloody hand to his forehead as he wheezed through his teeth.

"What happened...?" he sobbed, staring at the lifeless form of his love. A whisper assaulted his ears then, lacing it's delicate fingers through his hair and Luffy twitched violently.

"I didn't..." he muttered, still staring at the blood slowly staining the floor around Zoro. The whisper returned, stronger, and more insistent this time. Pushing it's views upon him and trailing cold fingers up and down his spine.

"I didn't kill him..." Luffy growled, sniffling and continuing to just stare at his boyfriend. This time, instead of the whisper, images and memories assaulted him. Grouping together like one big wall and smacking into his mind, making his head reel and his heart pound. Images of Zoro standing in front of him, of a fake enemy, the gun firing, Zoro's wide eyes and then realisation hit him harder than any shell or bomb could ever have done. Because of his insanity... he'd killed the most important person to him. The person who had been trying to help him, save him. He'd shot him in cold blooded murder, all because of some stupid delusion that he'd let himself be pulled into. All because of a stupid war... that he'd never wanted to be a part of.

"I..." Luffy stuttered, getting to his feet shakily and staring at Zoro's lifeless form, "I... Oh God I... What..." No words seemed enough to express his pain or anger or misery and shock at what he had done to his boyfriend. To the person he had loved. How could he...? There was no forgiveness for this, no act or possible thought, apology, that could reverse this kind of crime. He'd killed so many during the war and when it had ended, he'd been free but now... now the war had followed him anyway. Haunting him, driving him insane, driving him to do something as horrible as this.

It was unforgivable and Luffy would never be able to live with this. Never. He knew what had to be done and as Zoro's ghost haunted him and whispered in his ear, he listened to it. Like he had listened to all of those other ghosts. Leaning down over the body, Luffy pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's lips. One last kiss pressed to lifeless lips and his eyes stung with the memories of how those lips had moved against his. Been so warm, tasted so good and felt so nice upon his own. Now they were going cold and still.

"It's gonna be okay now, Zoro." He nodded, smiling softly to his Zoro, reaching out a hand to brush it through the other's hair, "I wont get to be with you... I wont be going where you're going, hon, but I will fix this injustice that's been done to you... ne?" Pressing his forehead against the other's, Luffy kissed him one last time and then got to his feet again. Moving to the couch, he sat down upon it and fingered the rifle laying beside him.

"Well, old friend. We've been through a lot together, haven't we?" he smiled at it, "I don't blame you for this, not at all. Do me one last favour, ne?" Taking the gun in his hands, Luffy set the butt of the rifle between his feet and let the cold barrel of the gun rest between his teeth. His hands slid over the sides of it, almost as if caressing a lover and his eyes moved to rest on Zoro's face, burning the memory of it into his mind as a final tear slid down his cheek... and he pulled the trigger.

000

A bang. Where was he? Was this hell? It sure burned like it... something... holding him down. Touching his forehead, tracing his skin. This must be punishment for what he had done. Hell, that was surely where he'd been banished too. Sent to this dark place where everything felt weird and smelled funny. Distantly he could hear someone speaking, voices yelling. There were people around him... and then a face appeared in front of him, a very familiar face and he couldn't believe his eyes. This was hell, had to be hell. It was taunting him with images of his Zoro now! He tried to speak but his tongue refused to operate correctly and stuck to the roof of his mouth, instead leaving him to make a garbled and odd sound.

"Oi oi, don't speak..." That... was Zoro's voice. Slowly, Luffy felt his body settling and the images in his head steadily faded. The gun, Zoro's dead body, all of that... it wasn't real, was it?

"Hn... 'ro..." Luffy managed, swallowing and blinking up at the ceiling before smiling a little as the green eyes and hair returned, peering down at him with a concerned expression.

"Nice of you to join us, kid." the older man chuckled a little and Luffy echoed the chuckle.

"Ne... I had... the worst nightmare." he said, finding it was easier to talk now he'd gotten over the first hurdle of speaking, "... Where m'I?" Finally, he seemed to realise that this place was very odd and off. Not to mention the straps keeping him held down on this camp bed.

"Nightmare, huh?" Zoro noised softly and then hummed, "... You're... in a mental hospital, Luffy." Luffy blinked at that, not really quite sure what to think of such a statement so he decided to go with a soft chuckle only to let it trail off as Zoro didn't laugh along with him.

"Mental...?" he asked quietly and Zoro made a soft noise to show he was confirming what the other had asked, "... How...?"

"Dont know. We were fighting a new batch of soldiers and there was heavy artillery and then you just started screaming for some reason. You wouldn't stop, we had to knock you out to get you to settle down..." the regret and sadness was heavy in the older man's voice, "They shipped you here about a month or so ago."

"A month... you're in the war..." Luffy trailed off and hummed softly to himself before turning his head so he could see the taller man sitting beside him. He was in a soldier suit that was tattered and dirty, mouldy in some spots while his hair was dark with the grime and such of the war he had been thrown into. That was right... he and Zoro had gone together. Enlisted. Thrown into a dog scrap they'd had no idea how to fight let alone win and then expected to stay alive during this ordeal. Amazingly enough, during every transfer and shift they'd had, the two boys had been kept together. Probably because when they were together, they had become a deadly and almost unstoppable force. That is... until the younger of the pair had lost his mind during a particularly violent battle.

"I'd... I'd had enough..." Luffy whispered, frowning at his boyfriend, "I was sick of... of killing people who didn't need to be killed and..."

"Yeah. I know..." Zoro nodded, agreeing to what the other was saying wholeheartedly, "It wasn't right but... the great thing is, the war ended yesterday." The tiredness in his voice canceled out any amount of excitement there was and Zoro smiled at him.

"War...?" Luffy whispered and the older man nodded.

"Ne... the war is over. We're heading home tomorrow... or... I am." Glancing down at the younger male, Zoro swallowed a little, "If... if you're not proven sane by this afternoon, they're going to keep you here for another month." Luffy blinked a little at that and chewed on his lip.

"I... ne, it was all a nightmare, right? This is the real world... you can tell me this is the real world, ne Zoro?" he asked, continuing to chew on his lip while he waited for the response from the other.

"... Ne, Luffy. This is the real world. I could... I could hear you talking in your sleep..." Zoro muttered, reaching a hand out to run it through the still damp, dark hair, "... I'm alive, you didn't kill me. You didn't kill yourself... It was just a nightmare."

"Then... I think... I think I'm okay." Luffy smiled a little at the taller man, humming at the hair petting and leaning his head to it a little a the same time, "They can test me. I'm sure I'll pass. Then Zoro and Luffy can go home, ne?" Zoro stared at the younger of the pair for a long, long time before finally smiling at him and nodding firmly.

"Ah. We can go home..."

End

A/N: Flames are most welcome, I use them to toast my feetses in the cold of winter time. Reviews are even more welcome, they help me sleep at night, believing I've actually done something great for once. :)