How Can You Fight A Losing Battle?
Author's Note:
Dedicated to Lukie, who's started reading my fanfiction. This is a fic that he'll understand at least! Yuna's POV just before she starts her journey with Rikku and Paine!!!
And Rhianna won't like this one because… There are lots of paragraphs!!!
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy X or X-2.
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How do you fight a losing battle?
How do you intend to win?
How can you let your friends go like that?
How did I do it?
Why did I do it?
Because I had to?
Is that it?
I did it because it was my duty?
Against my will…
I was prepared to die for my people, but in the end…
He died for a world alien to him…
How could this have happened?
Why must all our hopes have been dashed?
Why can't we be together?
We always lose something…
We are a spiral of death…
Seymour was right…
Living causes pain…
But if I had died, I would never have met him…
It's not fair…
Why did he have to die?
Because my father and his were too stupid to-
No, because they did what they thought was their duty…
Just as we did…
I don't like our plans for the new Spira…
They're stupid…
It's like everyone thinks that by splitting everyone up they can achieve more…
But they don't seem to get it.
We should be building a new Spira together…
I don't care about Nooj, or the Praetor of New Yevon…
I don't even care about the problems between the Ronso and the Guado…
I don't care how people get together, as long as they do.
It's not right that we should be split up…
It's not…
But there's nothing I can do.
And I wouldn't want to do anything even if I could.
I may be high summoner, but that's because I lost those dearest to me.
My aeons and him.
And I do not believe getting involved in this business will do me any good.
Me, me, me…
That's all I sound like…
What would the people of Spira want?
A new Spira, one full of laughter and happiness…
A Spira lead by a strong leader, who'll tell them what they need to do.
Someone to unite them all.
Someone strong enough to say no…
Not me then.
Auron would have made a great leader…
He was very wise in the way the world worked.
But he's gone, isn't he?
Another price we pay for defeating Sin.
And him…
He would have made a great leader.
It would have been so much fun to have all been together…
We could have settled down in Bevelle…
Started a family…
I want children…
But I only want one person to be the father…
I had it all planned out…
After Sin was gone…
When we had time…
I had always liked the name Keyakku…
And if we had a girl…
I liked the name Makoto…
But these are just dreams…
Daydreams…
Dreams that once could have been reality…
Not unlike him…
Should I move on?
Should I…
…forget?
I'm not sure what I want.
I want the pain to go away…
I don't want to forget…
I don't want to admit to myself…
I don't want to leave anyone behind…
I should think about what I want now.
What Spira expects me to do.
I have to think about others too.
Others…
The whole reason I was leaving Besaid at the same time as him…
The whole reason he became a Guardian…
The fault lies entirely with me…
If I had simply died by the final aeon…
No.
I created a better Spira.
I have to believe that.
If I think his death was in vain.
I don't think I could take that…
It's not what I think that matters anyway.
It's what the people of Spira think.
If they want me to become a leader, I don't think I could.
But if they thought me a coward, who starts things but doesn't finish them.
I would stand up and be strong.
But…
But…
I may have the will and determination…
I have no direction.
I had always thought I would die two months ago…
So what do I do now?
I'll return to Besaid.
I'll think about what there is for me to do.
I have no way of earning money.
I'll have to rely on the charity of the people of Besaid.
And Wakka and Lulu…
Will Rikku come with us?
And Kimahri too?
No, Kimahri should go back to the Ronso.
Rikku should do what she does best, work with machina…
I guess it'll be me, Wakka and Lulu who return to Besaid…
With two less that we started with…
Without Kimahri or Chappu…
Chappu…
I should call my second son that…
Yeah…
When I find him…