People say that when you are about to die, you see your life flash before your eyes, it wasn't my case, as I waited for the drugs's effect I stared at Clark and instead saw what it could have been. She walking down the aisle with a colorful dress, a beautiful baby with her beautiful blue eyes, her face getting more and more wrinkles.
Even from the start I knew how utterly pointless it was to try to change my mind and I didn't regret my decision. I couldn't live like this and I couldn't be someone else's anchor either, but it all seemed a bit bittersweet in the end.
Finally, the profoundest slumber took over, I felt heavy and light at the same time, freer than I have ever been, I looked around the room, frantically searching for my loved ones's faces, taking every detail, every wrinkle, every spot, I felt Clark's hands holding mine and closed my eyes and at last I was in peace.
…...
I woke up with a blond woman beside me, it took me a moment to realize it was Alicia. She turned to me and gave me a lazy smile.
"Good morning" She said, reaching in for a kiss.
I backed out and looked around, I realized I was in my apartment in London.
I moved my legs, pinched myself and the little stab of pain brought me more joy than I ever felt, I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I could hear Alicia asking me what was wrong, but I was too absorbed to bother to answer her. I went to the bathroom, splashed water in my face and felt more awake. That wasn't a dream, I was sure of it, Lou wasn't a dream, she was as real as the cold porcelain sink felt in my hands, if I closed my eyes I could still see her.
I was going to ask Alicia what day it was, but deep inside of me I already knew, it was the day of my accident. Somehow I'd won a second chance.