Title: Wicked Game
Pairing: Genma/Hayate
Summary: AU GenHaya
Warning: CHARACTER DEATH
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Kishimoto
Dedicated to Lecanis and written to go with our GenIru RP
Genma didn't usually pick guys up at bars and really, when he thought about it, he hadn't, if anything Hayate had picked him up. Laying there staring at the ceiling he didn't know what to do about it. Was he supposed to leave? Stay? He wasn't sure he could leave or that he wanted to. The sex had been amazing, every single time. "Can we do this again?" The words simply slipped out.
"We just did what three, four times? I'd say that's again..." Hayate laughed, panting beside him.
"No I mean... again tomorrow or today... not sure what time it is." Genma's own breathing was still pretty ragged and he rolled over onto his side. He'd never felt a connection with anyone he'd just met and it wasn't just the sex.
Hayate shook his head. "I shouldn't, I'm engaged."
The words made Genma's head spin and he managed a confused 'what?' but nothing else.
"Betrothed, not that it matters." The man he'd just been fucking, looked over at him. "Sorry."
He'd known better, or should have and waved his hand dismissively at the apology. "I shouldn't have asked."
Hayate was there when he got home, standing on his front porch waiting for him. "Hey."
Genma stopped at the foot of the stairs and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He didn't say anything, just stood there, confused.
"I have cancer." Hayate's voice was calm as he said it.
"I hear they have treatments for that," Genma said, still plenty confused. He hadn't seen the other man since their night together almost a month before.
The other man stepped forward, walking down the stairs, stopping on the last one. "I had cancer, when I was little, they say it's because of that, that chemo won't work this time."
Genma didn't know what to say, he didn't really know the other man but the idea of him dying bothered him. "Sorry."
"I shouldn't have said anything. Doesn't matter... I sholdn't even be here," Hayate said, moving to pass him.
"Why are you?" Genma asked, catching the other's arm.
Hayate turned and looked at him. "I don't know... when they told me I had a year to live... I guess I thought I'd spend it with you."
It was moments like this, Genma decided, that he was happiest. Hayate didn't care what anyone thought about their relationship and it was nice to be able to hold the person you were with and not be pushed away just because some random person on the street didn't approve. "I love you. I love that you don't care what anyone thinks."
"I don't have time to care," Hayate said, shaking his head. "Maybe I would if I did."
"Maybe..." Genma conceded, not really believing it. It was easier not to argue, not to talk about why he didn't have time. The last thing Genma wanted to think about when they were out walking in the park... or at a movie... or dinner... was about the coughing fits that never seemed to end or blood in the sink from his lover brushing his teeth or any other number of things that were simply too hard to deal with on days like this.
Genma bit down on lid of the syringe as he slid the needle through the skin, skin that seemed more translucent than it had yesterday. "Maybe you should try another round of treatment." His voice was even, calm, it was a suggestion he knew would be ignored.
"Why? It's drug resistant, it won't do anything," Hayate said, pressing a finger over the tiny hole while Genma got a bandaid.
"They can't know that for sure..." They could, did, and Genma knew it, but he wished he didn't.
Hayate rolled his eyes, the dark circles under them making it disturbingly comical, but then his expression softened and he slid a hand over Genma's. "You knew a long time ago what the situation was. I got the choice of increasing the chemo and hoping they get it all then hoping my kidneys or liver don't fail and probably die in a matter of days when they do or accepting I have a year to live."
"I know..." Genma said, still mouthing the piece of plastic, syringe still in hand. He knew, but it didn't make it any easier to see his lover dying. Every time he slid that needle in, the cap between his lips he hated himself. He hated that the only thing he could do was administer that little bit of drug that would buy Hayate a few hours without pain, not actually do anything to stop the illness slowly killing him.
"Gen..." Hayate smiled and threaded his fingers with Genma's. "Don't look like that, you've got way too sexy a smile to go around looking like that." He reached up and pulled the syringe cover from Genma's mouth. "One of these days you're going to stab yourself in the face with a needle you keep that up."
Genma laughed, took the cap back and tossed the sharp. "What? I can't help it, you've given me an oral fixation." He kissed Hayate's forehead and leered. "I could show you how far that fixation goes..."
The drugs effects were starting to show though and Hayate only manged a weak smile. "Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow..." Genma agreed, settling himself on the bed beside his lover and pulling the covers up over them both.
"I don't love you..." Hayate said, staring off at the clouds as he leaned against his boyfriend.
"Oh really?" Genma rolled his eyes and brushed his fingers through Hayate's hair, the bandanna the man wore so often laying forgotten beside them. "Funny pretty sure it's my name on your lips when you come and it's me you curl up against when you sleep. I'm also pretty sure you've actually said those words to me more than once..."
Hayate smiled and kissed Genma's hand. "How could I put somebody I love through this? How could anyone?" His voice shook despite the smile. "I never felt that way, if I did I wouldn't have been so selfish... I can't love you, I think all these meds have made me incapable of feeling anything." Tears slid down his cheeks and he turned away when Genma tried to wipe them away.
Genma stared at the casket, unable to look away. The funeral was supposed to start in an hour, he didn't want to be there for it, he wouldn't be welcome anyway. Hayate's family wouldn't want him there, his 'fiance`' wouldn't, the only person who want him there was laying in front of him.
He stepped forward, not quite sure how he was managing to even stay standing. He laughed, the sound ragged with tears then leaned over and kissed Hayate's forehead like he'd done so many times before when the man was sleeping. "You owe me three months... you jerk."
Genma sat in the kitchen, humming and sipping his tea. His eyes were still red from the funeral and when he started singing his voice kept breaking. The longer he sang the more tears, he hadn't believed he'd had left in him fell. When he was done with the song he simply sat there staring at the empty tea cup.
"Interesting song choice..." his grandfather said sitting down beside him. "Kind of stupid though if you ask me."
"I didn't," Genma said, laughing slightly. "Seems fitting though since he said himself he didn't love me."
The old man nodded pouring himself a cup of tea. "We say stupid things when we lose somebody though." He reached over and patted Genma's shoulder. "He was losing you the same way you were losing him so if he really did say he didn't love you he was lying. Maybe he thought he was saving you from that or something, I don't know..." The old man shook his head, clearly thinking it "What I do know is he was as in love with you as you were with him. At first I didn't really get this... thing with you and I'm still not sure I do but there ain't no denying how you two felt, a blind man coulda seen it."
He patted Genma on the shoulder again then got up and headed out of the room, leaving Genma to sit there and sing by himself. Somehow the words still seemed true, Genma knew he was right, had before, and maybe he'd been hoping the same thing Hayate had when he'd said it... that it would somehow lessen how much it hurt.
Wicked Game
(Chris Isaak, cover by Stone Sour)
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do.
And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you,
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you.
No, I don't wanna fall in love
No, I don't wanna fall in love
With you
With you
What a wicked game to play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt that way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
And I don't wanna fall in love
No, I don't wanna fall in love
With you
With you
World was on fire and no one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do.
And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you,
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you.
No, I don't wanna fall in love
No, I don't wanna fall in love
No I
No I
Nobody loves no one