Drake Parker knew he was desperate when he took the offer at the recording studio.

It was all the way in Gold Coast, Australia!

Living at home without Josh made Drake a very lonely dude. He started talking to his guitar again, and even Megan was worried. So when Walter's weatherman friend had a brother who had a girlfriend who had a half-cousin in the music industry, he begged his friend to beg the brother to beg his girlfriend to beg her half-cousin to give Drake a chance. He would have to stay there for at least a month to get all of the recording done to release an album.

Maybe he should have listened to Josh's advice. Maybe he should have gone to community college to at least get a degree, like agriculture or house-keeping. While he did play at the Premiere once a week, it wasn't enough. Helen offered to be his bride, but he didn't wanna marry a cougar. Plus he was pretty certain she was doing illegal candy business in the theatre, and he can't get involved with the Mafia, which was led by Clayton and Trevor. So he eventually stopped playing there and went to the streets to play.

He met many hobos, and they never gave him any cash. One interesting fella tried to floss his teeth with his guitar strings. Another fella tried to use Drake's guitar as a pillow to sleep on, near the garbage can. So, that day, Drake had a criminal record for assaulting the same man. He forgot that he can only hit Josh, so he was shocked when he got arrested. Walter and Audrey had to bail him out, and Walter looked forlorn about it. Probably 'cause he was unable to eat his oily but sexually satisfying Olive Garden pasta while bailing his stupid step-son. And that's why he now has a gig in Australia.

~Drake2O~

And now, he was in the middle of what he deemed to be nowhere. His dork detectors were tingling. Australians had stupid accents. He dropped his suitcase as he was overcome with a Josh-like thought. Is there a nowhere? How can somewhere exist without nowhere? What? What about anywhere? Am I even real? JOSH I MISS YOU!

He was literally thrown out of his thoughts when this volleyball hit him hard in the head. Drake screamed as he was pretty sure that the ball flew through his skull. He literally sobbed for medical assistance and how he was experiencing an "episode" when suddenly, a young gal came over to make sure he was okay.

"I'm sorrr sorry!" she screamed in her accent. "Ah you awlright?"

He really wanted to scream at her for her stupid accent but decided to play the nicey-Drakey role. "I'm okay, madame!" he assured her. For some reason, she looked offended.

"I don't knorrw who you think yourrr ahh, but now I'm late! Thanks!" she scolded, storming away like a really….bad…..storm. Probably one of those tornadoes in the deep South, like central Alaska. Oh how he missed North Am-er-ica.

He knew he had nothing else better to do, and he really didn't want to "strain his vocal cords" so he got up from the sand, and followed the Australian girl….like a stealthy secret detective from the FBI/CSI/FDA. He rolled through the sand, earning some odd looks from the alien Australians.

Oh wait! Drake thought, what about my suitcase?

Oh well, I only packed clothes and money. But I think I have my wallet in my pocket. I also have some butter (non-salted, so its healthier) in my coat pocket. So I'm only leaving some stupid so-last-year shirts.

Drake had a really silly idea and it made him laugh out loud, like a wheezing hyena or one of those cats he ran over with his car last weekend. He picked up a bucket that was likely abandoned by a child (ok, the child was screaming and crying for his bucket, but Drake shoved him away), filled it with yucky, salty ocean water, and dumped it on the girl when she wasn't looking. He then screamed "I SAW MERCURY THEN VENUS, I SAW THE EARTH AND MARS AND THEN JUPITER, SATURN, URANUS, AND NEPTUNE."

"YOU IDIOT!" she screeched. Hmm, her accent isn't as noticeable when she screams, Drake thought. This is….remark..ablee. The word took him a while to think of, but when he got it, he clapped himself on the back. Literally. Don't you know Drake is a contortionist? He also likes boa constrictors.

The girl dove into the water, and he followed her. But then she disappeared, and his face was filled with bubbles. Luckily, the bubbles didn't burn his eyes. Way to go, Drake! He swam after her like an Olympic swimmer, because Drake has always been a perfect swimmer, he won medals too. However, all he could do was touch something scaly and slimy. Thinking he grabbed a shark or something, he swam back to shore, completely wet. Like, he was drenched. He didn't think the ocean would do that to him. He was Drake. He was just glad he was able to escape from a shark. If he was Josh, he would've been dinner!

Drake then crawled like a lazyass toddler into some stupid smoothie shop, which Drake assumed is the Australian Premiere. Immediately, his eyes literally flew to a group of stupid teens. One girl had curly brown hair, and an annoying face, the other girl had blonde hair, and looked like she wanted to punch her drink. Finally, there was a boy, who was clearly an awkward third wheel. Everything about him just screamed, "Beat me up, Drake! I'm useless!" He was just like Josh except more Australian. Also, he was skinny like...Drake was positive his guitar weighed more than this dude.

"Hey, YOU!" Drake screamed, running up to the group of ugly Australians. He nearly slipped on his own ocean water (why wasn't he dry yet?) and slammed his body into their table. Literally. His chest fell down on the blonde girl's punchable drink. She grunted and grabbed his neck something area. Then he felt really sweaty and hot, and felt like he would pass out. But he thought if he passed out, he'd been sleeping with the fishes. Ha-ha, get it? Drake laughed to himself. He was a true comedian.

"What do you want?" the brunette asked sweetly. Suddenly this auburn-haired girl appeared from nowhere. Literally, nowhere. Drake was convinced that this nowhere-land was infested with witches. Yes, he read Harry Potter, and nearly cried because he couldn't read after the first sentence. Josh then screamed at him because his tears were all over the book, and Drake retorted by slamming oatmeal onto/into his belly button. Where are we again? Oh, right.

"LEWIS! Get ovahh heeyh!"

"Yes, Chahlayte!" The stupid-looking skinny-stick, super-yucky guy followed the slightly taller girl.

"Lewis…" Drake said to himself. He looked at the younger teen. Then he looked at his reflection in the napkin holder, thingy. Then he looked back at "Lewis." He had been in Australia, and had already made two enemies. Two. How could this Josh-Australian be dating a hot auburn, who was clearly controlling their relationship? Oh my God, Drake thought. It's the Australian-Mindy. THREE ENEMIES.

Drake knew it was time to face these evil-twins...er, triplets,and show them who's clearly the most famous and clearly the most popular character. Ever. There was no way anyone was going to steal his golden sunlight. No way. Not even a skinny Josh.

"I'll be back," he hissed to the ugly Australians. "You'll see. You'll all see."

He then fled the Australian-Premiere, leaving the ugly teens, he knew they're terribly confused and slightly craving more. After all, their lives were boring as hell. They were ordinary.