What If?

Summary: A series of 'What ifs' from Bare: A Pop Opera. Jason's death was the result of a lot of little events all adding up. If each of these events were altered would the ending be the same or not?

Setting: Following Promise.

Rating: T for language. Individual ratings and warnings will be in every chapter.

Chapter Title: Spin on: "I tried," spoken by Peter in Promise.

What if: What if Peter doesn't leave Jason after Promise and instead follows him?

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Bare: A Pop Opera or Bare the Musical. This story is merely for entertainment.

I Will Try

"You know what then, fuck you, Peter! Fuck you!"

The words stung. Peter winced but let them roll off him. He was just taking out his anger about the whole situation.

Still, he didn't have to be such a dick about it.

He had slept with Ivy. And he had lied to him about it. Peter fumed at the thought. Had they still been together when it happened? Peter shook his head. It didn't matter. It was done.

But as everyone flocked away from Jason, Peter couldn't help but let a little bit of guilt creep up with every passing step. Matt never would have blown everything open like that if he hadn't told him.

Was he sorry about that? No. He had meant it when he said it. But it didn't need to happen like this.

Peter could hear Nadia talking to Jason, just barely. He was about the step out. Leave. Not turn back. But at the last moment he turned on his heel and hid behind a pillar. The room made for a lot of echoes, which helped carry Nadia's voice to Peter's ears, but it also made it so he could only hear every other word or so.

"Yeah, thanks. I know…Could you leave me alone? I don't mean to be rude…It's just…"

That was unusual. Peter peeked out from behind his pillar to see Nadia leaving the room, wiping her eyes as Jason sat on the floor. Alone.

But Peter knew that Jason never liked to be alone when he was upset. When he was worried about a test or dealing with shit from his father or stressing about college apps, that was when he would go to Peter and kiss him and hold him. Just to let the world fade away, just for a moment.

That was why it was so heartbreaking to see him so utterly alone.

Little mutterings were carrying their way from Jason to Peter, but he couldn't make out a word of it. Jason always had had a habit of talking to himself out loud, be it when he was studying or trying to figure something out. He didn't ever know that he was doing it, but Peter would catch him and then they would laugh about how neurotic he sounded.

It wasn't so funny now.

Peter saw Jason push himself to his feet, it taking a lot more effort than it should have for someone of his strength. And he started walking towards…towards the chapel.

Without hesitation, Peter crept behind him, taking care to keep a good distance and dart behind things when he could. Not that it probably mattered—Jason seemed pretty out of it. Peter probably could have been wearing tap shoes and he wouldn't have noticed.

The confessional.

Peter's eyes widened as he darted behind a pew. But he wouldn't, would he? He had gotten so mad when Peter almost told the priest about them…That's when Jason had broken up with him.

After a few minutes Peter saw Jason and Father Flynn go in their respective doors. Peter wanted so much to get a glass and put his ear up to the wood but that kind of eavesdropping seemed to be crossing a line. More of a line than he was already crossing by essentially stalking Jason. The confessional was supposed to be a conversation with God—he couldn't intrude on that, even if it did have to do with him.

Luckily he didn't have to eavesdrop. By the end of the confession Peter could make out just about every word they were saying and he felt his heart drop with each one. He slumped against the back of a pew, closing his eyes as the painful words dug into him like a happy dagger.

Jason would never be okay with this. He would never be okay with…them.

A lone tear ran down Peter's cheek and he let it fall, staining the wood of the chapel if but for a moment. He heard the doors to the confessional open and close and the footsteps that followed. He waited a minute longer until he was sure that no one would catch him leaving and went to the dorms.

Not that he was sure how he could ever go to sleep after this.

A lot weighing on his mind, Peter walked slowly on autopilot to his room and opened the door.

"Peter?"

…His old room.

Peter came face to face with Jason, both of them looking a lot more drained than they had just a half hour ago. And they hadn't really looked good then.

"Sorry," Peter sputtered half-heartedly. "I wasn't thinking and I…" He trailed off when he saw Jason's empty expression.

"No, it's okay," Jason said. "I was actually just at your room and I noticed you weren't there, so this explains it."

"You were at my room?"

"Yeah, just talking to Lucas."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

He'd been there for Lucas, not for him. Not that it should matter. They weren't together and never would be again so why would he be looking for him? Why was Peter even still here?

"So, I should be going…" Peter started, but one last look into Jason's eyes made him stop. Guilt was coursing through him again, stronger than before, and before he knew it, he blurted, "I heard what you and Father were talking about."

That grabbed Jason's attention. "What?"

"I'm sorry, I was just following you to make sure you were okay," Peter explained. "I didn't mean to overhear anything but…I did."

"Oh. So you heard."

"Yeah."

They stood looking sadly at each other for a moment before Jason returned getting ready for bed. His movements were mechanical and his face was unaffected, unchanging.

"He's wrong, Jason." He didn't know what compelled him to say it. He knew it wouldn't change anything. This was what Peter had been telling him forever now but Jason never believed it from him. And he didn't believe it now, judging from how he didn't even twitch at Peter's words.

He had one last hope.

Peter walked over to Jason and put a hand on the hand that had been pulling back his sheets. That made Jason look at Peter; they were closer than they had been in months.

"Talk to Sister Chantelle. Tomorrow." It sounded like a suggestion but Peter was looking deep in Jason's eyes. He had to convince him to do it. It had changed everything for Peter, maybe it could re-instill even an ounce of hope into Jason's heartbreakingly empty eyes.

"Okay," Jason agreed, though it sounded like he was too exhausted to argue the point more than anything.

"Okay," Peter echoed. He pulled his hand away from Jason's with only a bit of reluctance and made to leave before Jason grabbed his arm.

"Stay." It was desperate; it was pleading.

How could he say no?

Wordlessly, Peter nodded, stripping off his vest and tie while slipping out of his shoes. Jason curled up into a tight ball, pushing himself close to the ball. Peter turned off the light and slipped in behind Jason, pulling his body close. When they used to do this, admittedly Jason was usually the big spoon but today it seemed Jason needed the comfort of being held a lot more than Peter did.

They were exes. Peter had been pulling away—devoting all of his energy to pulling away. He was mad at Jason and had been reminding himself that he had every right to be. So this was weird. Comforting, but weird. But he decided to settle for the comfort part and enjoyed the familiar warmth of Jason's body.

"I'm sorry I slept with Ivy." It was a whisper. Peter could barely hear it, but it was thick with emotion. It sounded almost innocent, like a child repenting his bad deeds.

"I know."

He didn't say I forgive you. He wasn't ready for that; he wasn't sure that he ever would be. But for now, having him in his arms was more than enough.

They would figure out the rest tomorrow.

A/N: This is going to be a long AN and for that I apologize. So, as stated in the summary, this is going to be a series of different 'What if' moments from Bare: A Pop Opera (not the musical) using both the 2004 Off-Broadway version and the 2007 album as mixed cannon. So if you have any questions about things that don't seem cannonical to you, feel free to ask and I'll tell you which it's from because, while very similar, they do have some differences. But anyway, I was just getting struck with ideas of little tweaks that could potentially save Jason's life or at least alter the trajection of the story and I wanted to play with them. Anything is fair game as long as the 'what if' isn't a OOC move. That's the one law. So suggestions are welcome! Also, every chapter title is going to be a spin off of a line or lyric in the show with just a word or two difference.

PS, and this is important, some of these stories will end the same way as bare. Some will have an unhappy ending because fate is fate, and some I'll write part way and then they'll have a split where one fork leads to happy ending and the other leads to sad.

Anyway, with this chapter I wanted to play into some of the anger that Peter has with Jason in Act II. A lot of bare stuff is so overly fluffy, but there is so much more emotion than that—and not all of it good. This one has kind of an ambiguous ending, but I categorized this one as happy. If this happened, I don't think Jason would die.

I actually have a lot more to say...like a lot. But this monologue is getting to be of Shakespearean proportions, so Imma cut it off here.