You know what? First Person is kinda fun to write! xD

Ok, so in this one, it's our Royal Vice President's view on everything, throughout the entire chapter. Next chapter, it'll be Tseng, and alternating again. Um, enjoy? lol.

WARNINGS:

I should tell you now, just in case you read through the first two chapters as happy as a pig in crap and get to the third unawares, this one has quite a few warnings.

Yaoi based storyline- Basically means that this is a 'when boy meets boy' kind of story. Don't like it? Meh, don't read it.

Language- Yes, English... as well as quite a lot of um... 'slang' words. I pretty much cuss my ass off. xD

Mentions of suicide- Self explanatory, yeah?

Hurt/Abuse- I seem to have at LEAST a little in all of my stories, so you should have expected this.

Graphic Violence- Chapter Four is the biggie in this one. I actually shocked myself with it's content. O.o You should be ok, but if you really are very queasy, then maybe this isn't for you.

Racial Remarks- I thought I'd put this here. There's nothing really that major I don't think, but I wanted to build some hate towards a particular character, so just a heads up.

I never mean to offend, so sorry if I do. -hugs-

Chapter 1

-Rufus' introduction-

It's strange isn't it, how a single threat of death can alter the rest of your life? How that one moment can influence you, and those around you, in a way that nobody was expecting or planned for? I was raised for this world as a hardened leader, and I came close to dying one, far before my time. Perhaps I had never truly lived to begin with... That was, until the very walls I'd spent years building, crashed around me at the mercy of of a gentle voice, and a reassuring hand through my hair... I am Rufus Shinra, and this is my story.

--

Something about the air had been unsettling. There was a certain feeling of an inevitable terror about to unfold, and knowing my current position, this had unsettled me greatly. I was right to be unsettled though, I know that now. It had happened in a timeframe of no more than a minute. I'd told my father on several occassions about the Turk suspicions of a terrorist uprising. Yet, whilst he sat in his office and drank his vodka, he sent me out to make a public appearance to build the empire's 'personal' status. We'd been driving down the strip roads of Junon when it happened. Those ridiculous side streets connecting to the barracks along the road had left a clear opening for my attempted assassin to make his move. And that he did. The shots rang clear mere seconds after the Turks had realised the danger. Had I not been pushed out of the way of a majority of the gunfire, I may not even be here now. The lights are so bright, as they rush me along this blindingly bright and crowded hallway. Perhaps it wasn't usually as crowded as it is now, though, with the Turks and several first class SOLDIERs crowding around my stretcher...

"Where the fuck is security?!" A figure hissed through a medical mask as he pushed a bystander aside and flicked frantic eyes around the room. We kept turning, and it seemed to me like it was a continuing circular path. A feeling was rising within my chest, even past the burning pain, as the faces around me lined with concern and confusion. I was reluctant to see it as what I assumed it was. Fear...

Fear was an unfamiliar emotion within my life. The last time I recalled feeling it was when my mother was ill, and she began withering away before my eyes. Perhaps it was because I had thought then, that she would die. Like I think I will now... My stomach hurts so badly... It burns like nothing I've ever felt before, and I considered for a moment a conversation Reno and Rude had held over a new type of bullet. It pierced the skin and burst, leaving traces of reactive mako in the blood stream. No, no... fear was not an option... That was what I was raised upon, and it's what will be needed to efficiently run this company after my father's passing. Fear is not an option... Then why is it that this feeling won't dissipate? Why is my heart beating so fast? Why can't my eyes focus on the one thing for more than a moment? My throat is dry, my eyes are burning, my chest is tight. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to pull out of this, and oh God what will happen if there is no Shinra heir? My father, what would my father do? Oh God, and Reno, who would look after Reno as he looks after me? No one could do it like I can. He's like a brother to me and nobody could understand him like I do. What if I die with this same pain in my heart, in my abdomen, through every confine of my body, as I lie bleeding on a table and...

"You're in the best medical hands on the planet sir. I would not panic in the slightest. We'll be helping to pull you out of this for a full recovery..."

Who was that? The voice was calming, soothing, and as a shadow fell over me, I tried to turn my head to face my reassurance.

"Lie still sir... We'll still be here when you wake up..." The voice said calmly, and the simple reassurance reverberated through me. I needed to thank him, whoever he was. My chest was easing, and in turn, the pain was ebbing away. I needed to thank him...

I opened my mouth to tell him of my gratitude, yet all that I managed to produce was a small gurgle, increasing my frustration at my current condition, and worstening my battle against this newly confronted emotion. Fear was not an option, God damn it... Yet, I was terrified... I don't want to die... I don't want to... wait... no... no no no... I'm crying... A gentle touch was on my hair now, wiping away strands as we continued moving, always moving. I was being petted, like some kind of a wounded animal. Yet, there was nothing shameful about the soothing touch. There was no degradation at all. Only reassurance.

"Commander, you'll have to get your men to leave the operating theatre. We can't work in these conditions!" Came the demanding hiss of a medical official, as the hand upon my head was removed.

"You heard him..." Came the reassuring reply, as my head spun, and I reached into the air, clutching desperately and unashamedly, even as tears streamed down my face. Ha... if my father could see me now... A hand clutched at mine and gave it a gentle squeeze, as we stopped moving, and the petting of my hair resumed.

"Commander, you'll have to le-"

"I'm not leaving. I've removed the rest of my team, but on the president's order, I am not to leave the boy's side..." It was the reassuring voice, as the hand squeezed mine a little tighter, an iciness slipping into the warm tone.

"Then please, Commander, give us a little more room to move... We need to put him under..." The masked figure urged, and the guardian by my side moved to stand behind me. Commander? Removed the rest of his team? Surely it couldn't be... A mask was upon my face now, and a gas filled the plastic casing, as I continued to watch the movement around me. Commander... of the Turks? Was this Tseng? I had never once met the Turk leader, and yet my father spoke nothing but the highest praise for the man rumoured to be 'terrifyingly beautiful' within battle. What did that even mean? The terrifying part was a given. He was a Turk. But how could anything of battle be both terrifying and beautiful? The other Turks very occassionally spoke lewdly of their Commander, comparing his beauty to that of an ethereal being. I was yet to determine this for myself, even as I strained my neck to try and meet his gaze. But I was getting tired. I was getting really really...

--

I don't know which came first. The heat, the pain, or the panic. In any case, I sat bolt upright, a cry trapped in my throat, before a firm hand was pressed against my chest and forced me to lie back down. I made to speak again, but my throat was dry.

"Would you like some water, sir?" Came the smooth fluent voice from earlier. I turned my head to the side with some effort, and was mesmerized at the sight. God, if this was Tseng, then his reputation certainly was not an overstatement... I managed to nod, and he poured me a glass, a curtain of ebony hair sweeping across the pale and flawless skin of his chiseled face. Whoever carved such perfection had taken very much care to do so... He reached then, handing me the glass, and I almost dropped it there and then. His eyes were incredible. They were soft yet sharp, dark, yet full of energy, and they smiled in sync with his thin lips. I dragged my gaze away though. Gods, what am I doing? This kind of misconduct wasn't allowed to even be considered... The water was almost painfully cold as I took a drink from the glass and set it upon the bedside table. I coughed a little, and was curious to see if it had worked at all.

"...Commander Tseng?" I said simply, and he nodded.

"Vice President Shinra, it is a pleasure to finally meet you in the flesh..." He smiled softly, and it became easier to forget about the searing pain through every pore of my body.

"...Same..."

"Although I am sure you would have prefered the circumstances to be different..." He said, a small smile licking at his expression. I said nothing. I wasn't sure if I was exactly lost for words, but the mere presence of this person before me was severely messing with my head.

"...You're not with... my father?" My voice croaked, disobeying my every desire to appear in the position of power I was born to hold. I felt inferior, weak, and useless for the first time in my adult life, and it bothered me further that this figure was seeing me like this...

"There are others to mind him. He has concerns that your hitman might show up to try and finish the job..." Tseng said somewhat darkly, and a sudden realisation rang through me. Others to mind him... other Turks...

"Reno!" I choked, sitting upright again. What had happened to the redhead? He was right there beside me in the vehicle, and he had shielded me against any further damage. Was he... God no, the thought was almost unbearable... What would I tell his mother if he had died protecting me? She had always been a loving and cautious woman, and had finished every letter she'd written the Turk with a plea for him to be careful... How could I possibly explain that her charismatic baby boy wouldn't reply to a solitary letter of hers ever again? A firm, yet gentle hand pressed once again against my shoulders and eased me to lie down.

"Reno is recovering well... He suffered quite a lot of damage, admittedly, but he is healing almost as fast as you, sir... He seems almost as stubborn to die as he is with everything else..." Tseng reassured with a calming, knowing smile, and I turned to my bedside table. Some relief, at least. He was alive, and I hadn't been the cause of an untimely death. Wait... Where was my pager? My EMR? My cell phone? Tseng reached out long thin fingers, and opened up the drawer, pulling out my cell phone and handing it to me, a gentle smile on his lips.

"I understand sir... You've been here for three days so far. Do you remember what happened?"

Like it was yesterday... The searing pain that burst through at intervals was a clear and constant reminder, and my face must have shown it, as Tseng nodded slightly.

"...I was... shot..."

"Yes sir... The bullet used was unique, to say the least. You have mild mako blood poisoning. It shall take a few more days before you can leave here, and then you are being put in my care, sir..."

Did I just hear that right? Being put in his care? If my father had ordered me to be placed in his care...

"Officially... placed in your care?"

"Yes Sir. I guess that means we should get a little more acquainted..." Tseng said softly, those beautiful eyelashes falling across his eyes as he blinked, "As it seems we will be quite the inseperable pair..."

The mental images that one small statement brought...

Being placed in his care though? That was a permanent situation. Tseng would, in terms of employment, belong to me. I was surprised, more than anything, that my father would make such a sacrifice. He must have had doubts about finding a suitable heir if I were to pass on.

"...What did you call my father... Commander?"

"Harold, sir... He permitted me nothing else..."

Ha... that is so like you old man... They're the people who are expected to give their lives for you, to sacrifice their all, and you don't even grace them with your real name...

"... My first name is fine also then... May I call you Tseng?"

I watched him as he listened to me with such an intensity that I held my breath. He gazed right into my eyes when I spoke, and I swear that he saw through everything I had ever tried to build myself to be. The lies of the happy family my father and I played, the abuse we hid from the world, the fountain of knowledge and opinion that had been forcefully held back by my father's wishes... It was nothing short of haunting, and yet I couldn't break that probing gaze... He then smiled, a beautiful display of neat white teeth, as he nodded.

"Of course, Rufus..."

Oh God, the sound of that roll across his tongue... It unwillingly set off the chain reaction of me kicking myself internally. What the fuck am I doing? I'm to become the head of a multi-billion gil company, and I am falling head first into a lust-filled obsession of this being before me. I'm somewhat reluctant to call him a person, as it would undermine everything that is perfectly sculpted onto this... God... Already, should a situation ever require me to do so, I was now facing uncertainty of what I should do if he were to leave...

"If I'm placed... in your care... I presume that means that you'll also... be moving into my office?"

"Yes Rufus... Try not to speak too much. You're not doing yourself any good by it, and we'll have plenty of time for questions..." He smiled softly again, and my own damn mouth betrayed me by smiling back. He was snaking his way in, breaking down those hard built barriers, and it hadn't even been an hour... All I could recall was that gentle petting of my hair, and the realisation that for once in my life, someone was caring about my welfare...

--

These bandages were a hindrance, to say the least. A medical practioner (What was her name? Rosie?) came in to my apartment twice a day to change them and monitor my mako poisoning, although I doubted it would have made much of a difference. I had read the books on it. Mako poisoning went away of it's own accord, and most of the time bore little difficulty after the first few days. Some sharp bursts of pain and a general nauseous feeling was to be expected, but the burning sensation of the blood had dissipated, and I was demanding paper work from Tseng. The Turk had been sitting at the desk in my room tirelessly for the past four days, filling out a majority of my paperwork and keeping me company. He was a quiet figure, and I was glad for that, giving me plenty of opportunity to watch him as he worked. He'd caught me twice so far, as I'd shamefully stared at his furrowed brow and curtain of ebony locks, whilst he concentrated on his work.

"Are you alright, Vice President?" He'd asked, not looking up from his papers, and smiled slightly. My reply had been the same both times, claiming that I must have zoned out, and he seemed to have brought it. Fraternizing with employees was definetly a big cross on my father's list, although it didn't seem to stop him after my mother had died. I'd overheard Reno speak of some sort of a relationship between my father and Scarlet, and it was certainly a believeable prospect, to say the least. She was nothing short of a hussy, that woman, and although she felt safe and secure now, it would take a lot for me to keep her when I inherited the company. Her high and mighty attitude was far less than appreciated, and the authority my father had given her over both SOLDIER and the Turks as part of her weapon development, was frowned upon by many. Tseng had been one to voice his concern over the matter, and I had agreed whole heartedly. Whatever kind of relations she had with my father had been manipulative, and the bag of hormones that he was had been unable to see it. Yes, there would be plenty of changes, and I was only certain of two things remaining as they were. The Turks would remain at Shinra alongside myself, and I would ask Tseng for me to remain in his care. I'd been in his company for a little over a week now, spending almost full eighteen hour days with him, and was becoming a little ashamed at how attached I had become. He was quiet, yes, but he was able to hold a conversation if he felt the desire to do so, and he was nothing short of the perfect gentleman. It unsettled me a little, that he was so calm and gentile around me, although I knew he was a trained assassin.

I'd learnt a lot from and about him already, and it had proven useful information almost instantly. For instance, he let me drink nothing but water and pure blend Wutainese tea whilst I was healing. He'd handed me a cup and listed the ingredients and their healing qualities. I was a skeptic, but I can almost swear it's been working... The things I loved most to learn were the things about him that his personal file would never provide. The fact that he had painted landscape pictures for money as a teenager, or that his great grandmother had a hand in the recipe of the infamous Banora Apple Juice. He had a pet chocobo up until he was seven, named Sunao, too, which was probably why he had such a fondness for the poster on my bedroom wall. Being a Turk had not been his first preference of a job either, which never surprised me. None of them ever particularly wanted the job, they simply ended up here through cirucmstance. It had been my favourite tale to listen to, however, and I'd sat captivated as he continued to write and told me everything. I wondered if he told the story often, as it was somewhat painful for me to hear. Surely it was hard for him to tell...

"I'd been brought to Shinra as part of the COW plan with my mother..." He'd begun, and I'd frozen almost immediately. The COW, or Children Of Wutai plan, was an idea spawned from my father's mind, and the idea had horrified me. We'd captured over two thousand Wutaian women and children, and brought them back to Shinra to escape the war, but with a hidden motive. My father had intended to breed out the Wutaian genes in Midgar and effectively pretend that Wutainese culture had not existed. In my eyes, it was Genocide of the most subtle kind. With no Wutaian men to breed with, the 'imported' women would only be able to create cross-bred children. By the time the 'imported' children had grown, they were to have been seperated and spread across the world to have children with other non-Wutainese citizens. My father treated them as cargo, and it had disgusted me.

"I apologise, Tseng..." I'd interrupted, and a look of surprise flittered across his face.

"Apologise?"

"For what my father had done to you. I had never been a supporter of the COW plans..."

"Wutai was a harsh place to be during a war, Rufus... Despite your father's alterior motives, I was still bought to a sanctuary. If I had have remained in Wutai, I would have been forced to become a soldier, and I would have been killed or relocated anyway as a slave..." He'd replied, as he'd looked up from his work and shook his head, "No, I owe Shinra my life, and you will find many of my kind who feel the same."

The guilt panged through me either way, but I chose not to show it.

"Is that why you became a Turk?" I asked, a subtle change of subject, and he shook his head.

"No. My mother had become ill with tuberculosis and died when I was 14. I was still too young to work in Midgar, and so ended up having to steal for money and food, and ended up being found by a Turk member of the time. I'd put up a decent fight, and put my skills of self-taught combat into practice, but had still ended up being caught. Being reluctant to kill me, he had offered me a choice. I could join the Turks and earn money and a place to live, or I could be thrown back on the streets and killed next time I was caught stealing. Who would say no to such an offer?"

Tseng had smiled briefly then, and ran his fingers lightly through his hair.

"So, I began training immediately, and the Turk who had rescued me recommended me to your father directly. I was accepted with little debate..."

The stories such as those had always held me captivated to the Turk. He'd had a life of excitement, of adventure, of experience. As for myself, I had nothing but a life of books, abuse and meetings. I couldn't recall ever having children to play with or much company at all other than the Turks themselves. The first game I had learnt had been a training procedure for Turk entrance. I had thrived with a thirst of knowledge and power, and had known little else other than that.

"Tseng?" I asked, and those darkly lashed eyes looked up from his papers.

"Yes?"

"Did you have any childhood friends? Ones that really stood out to you?"

He looked saddened by the question, and I thought that perhaps I had asked something a little too personal, before he nodded silently.

"Yes. I'd had ten that I spent almost every day with. School friends..."

School. I'd always wondered what an experience that must have been also. I'd asked my tutor once, and she'd smiled rather sadly, explaining that it was nothing all that special. It might have been true. A program on television that I'd watched a few times, highlighted the school children across the world and what made their schools special. My father had ordered the program to be made to boost exchange student percentages, apparently. Every child often said that they thought certain aspects of their school were 'awesome', but very few said that they enjoyed school as a whole.

"What happened to them?"

"My school friends?" Tseng asked, and I nodded, "We were all moved to Midgar. A few are married and have families. Most of them work in the sector four slums."

"Do you speak to them often?"

"I can not afford to... For their own saftey as much as mine... Many of them are not aware I am a Turk, and there will always be select groups of Wutaian people who are bitter towards this company..."

"Do you miss them?"

"At times, yes..."

I'd never stopped to think of how deep the war had ruined the lives of its people, with my father constantly pressing the image of a happy Wutaian villager sowing grain by a mako reactor into my mind. It was a false hope for all parties involved, but it had seemed achievable in my eyes. Now Tseng, the person who had come to mean so much in my eyes so quickly, was sitting across my room and speaking of his life and how my very family had harmed it.

"I have a family within my Turks now..." Tseng said quietly, and I returned my gaze to meet his. My puzzlement must have shown, as he smiled softly and shook his head.

"Many people lose friends over their lifetimes. Most of them remain with their family however. My job might have lost me a few friends that I would probably have grown apart from anyway, but it provided me with family that I'll never lose. I have no regrets from being at Shinra, and neither should you, sir..."

'Sir'. He still called me sir more often than not, and I was unsure whether he had had that drilled into him during Turk training, or he used it as a way of seeing whether I paid attention or not. I smiled slightly, as I usually did upon thinking of it and sighed.

"Rufus, Tseng. Call me Rufus..."

"I apologise..." He smiled, and returned to his work. He spent a lot of time at that desk and did as much as he could to ease the pressure off of my demanding workload.

"Are you sure that it's not too much work, Tseng?" I'd asked, and he had laughed lightly, a sound that I'd come to try and provoke.

"Your father is somewhat of a slave driver, Rufus... I almost can not believe he asks so much of you..."

"It's manageable, but I understand that it's tiring at the least... You don't need to do it if you don't want to..."

"I was born into a family of Wutaian historians, Rufus. Paperwork is a given, and I am almost certain I am doing less here than I would have to do back home...So, thank you, sir..."

He then smiled and held my gaze for a few moments, just long enough to make my cheeks begin to burn, before he returned to his work. There were many things I wasn't sure of about the Turk before me, but I was almost certain now, that he did that to me on purpose...

--

A/N: Yay. :) Hope you guys are liking this. There's two chapters ready to go now, and another one ready to be typed, so just let me know how much ya want it. hehe.