ADVISORY: This is a sequel to the story "Forever" that can be found by clicking the link below:

s/3671452/1/Forever

Please make sure you read through "Forever" before attempting to read "Always" as a lot of it will not make sense if you don't.

Chapter One:

He bowed himself low, nestled against the uncomfortable concrete. He pressed his forehead against the polished stone and breathed in the scent of the incense that burned above him. Every muscle in his body ached, every part of him burned with the heartbreak that had settled over him. Hikaru took a shuddering breath, his hand rising to run over the letters engraved in the unforgiving stone.

Here lies Kaoru Hitachiin

Beloved brother, son and friend

He lived, traveled, loved and adventured…

And he wasn't sorry.

He knew the words by heart, knew the darkness that they had placed upon him. Never again would he hear his brother's laugh, or play a joke upon their friends. They would never play the Which one is Hikaru game. Hikaru was the only one left, the one left behind to deal with the pain of his actions.

"It's been six months." Hikaru whispered, not caring who was around to listen to him. He didn't care who heard him or judged him for talking to the grave before him. This was his time with his brother, moments that he cherished. For six months he had made daily trips to the temple and he spoke to his brother about everything. He kept Kaoru up to date on what had happened to their friends and what was happening with his parents. He felt safe here, like it had all been a bad dream and he would return home to find Kaoru curled up in their bed with open arms.

"I don't know what to do with myself anymore…" There were no easy days, no days where the pain felt lessened. In fact, Haruhi had once promised him that things would get easier with time and now he knew for a fact that she had lied to him. Every day the loss of his brother felt heavier upon his shoulders. "I've tried losing myself in work but every project I have reminds me of you. I've tried spending more time with Haruhi but she's just… so in love. It's not easy to be around her anymore…" He couldn't blame her for finally admitting her feelings to Tamaki and she couldn't blame the two for finding happiness when he was still so lost in the darkness.

He was finding it harder and harder to recall the little things that had once meant so much to him. He couldn't recall the natural scent of Kaoru's skin or the feel of his brother's around him when things were too hard to handle on his own. He couldn't remember the sound of his voice and had resulted to late nights calling and recalling his brother's cellphone. He would listen to the voice mail and revel in the closeness it brought him. "I can't remember you…" He whispered. It had only been six months; just one hundred and eighty-three days and already the important things were slipping away. "I need you here."

He could hear footsteps drawing closer, the click of heels against the concrete echoing in the silence around him. The hotheaded part of him that overreacted to everything wanted to turn on the newcomer and demand they leave. How dare they impose on the short amount of time he had to spend with his brother? How dare they enter this sacred space? More of him, however, was just tired. He didn't want to hurt anymore; he didn't want to feel the emptiness that had settled over his heart. He didn't want to lash out because the reality of his situation was heavy upon him… Kaoru's death was his fault. He had been the one driving, he had been the one who lost control and his name had been the last thing from Kaoru's lips.

He was responsible, and taking it out on another mourning soul would only make him worse of a person. The footsteps stopped and silence fell upon them again.

"I'm so sorry…" he breathed, the words alleviating a little of the weight that had settled over him since the night of the accident. "You told me to slow down and I didn't… I thought we were invincible and I never stopped to think about the consequences. We were always just… together. I didn't think I would ever have to lose you. You told me I never would!" The tears were pouring down his face now, his words slurred by the sobs that ripped their way from deep within him. "You promised that no matter what happened we would always be together and then you left! You left because I was stupid and reckless and I didn't protect you!"

His entire body was shaking, his very being falling apart at the seams. His whole world had been centered on the life that he and Kaoru had built together. They had built up walls that were meant to protect them and when they had finally let them down, when they finally accepted other people into their little world, his brother was ripped away from him so quickly. He was vaguely aware of the small girl who had stopped walking and now stood behind him. He could hear the shaking breaths and the sobs she tried to silence as she, too, mourned the loss of the Hitachinn twin.

He sobbed and she cried too. They didn't say anything to each other, and her only acknowledgement of his pain was her own. Silence passed between them until slowly she lowered herself down to her knees. Her closeness sent a shiver of rage through him but his rage was not directed at her. It was directed at himself, directed at the Gods who had taken his brother away from him. She pressed a gentle and reassuring hand to his shoulders as she bowed her head and cried with him.

"WHY?!" He yelled again, his forehead still pressed against the cold stone of Kaoru's tomb. "Why did this happen? Why didn't you fight to stay with me?!" A sob louder than she had meant ripped from her chest as she pressed her face against his shoulder, crying into the fabric of his shirt as they both clung to the comfort of the temple. Her closeness reminded him of his brother and in that moment he was grateful for their joined sorrow. "Why did you leave me?!" And in the quiet of their sorrow he could almost hear Kaoru's comforting response.

Terrible things happen, Hikaru. But we'll never lose each other.

AUTHOR'S / NOTE: I'd like to thank all of my lovely readers from the first story who made this sequel possible and I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoyed Forever.

I'll be running this story very similarly to how I ran the last updates of Forever, I will try my best to post a new chapter every Monday. Three reviews will earn a chapter early so if you're desperate to know what happens just let me know.

My inspiration for this first chapter was the song Loosing Your Memory By Ryan Star. So if you want, listen to that song and you'll understand a bit of the sad emotion I felt while writing Hikaru's heartbreak.

Much love;

Kaasuten