I don't own Criminal Minds. Spence is my favorite character, and I love him to pieces.

Everyone leaves me. Everyone.

Why do they do that? Every single time, no matter what the situation, they go. It's like a curse. My mom's mind left the moment that I came into her life. Every girlfriend that I've ever had, too. Lila and Austin both left me. And Maeve…

Maeve was different. She was like no one that I'd ever seen before. Smart, funny, she had it all. When I saw her, I found out that she was beautiful too. Even as lines of worry creased her face, even as a gun was being held to her head, she was beautiful…

Yet even she left! Without even knowing that I loved her, fully, with all of my heart. Every time we talked, her voice played like a melody in my head. She lulled me to sleep, she made me smile.

I put my head back in my hands and moaned. Garcia had come over earlier. The flowers that she'd left were still in front of the door. I couldn't bring myself to move and retrieve them.

Morgan had been calling too. Another damn case with more death and blood.

Maeve's blood was something that I'd hoped to never see. I've seen so much blood in my lifetime. Hers did not need to be added to that list.

"Agh!" I jumped to my feet. Fuck this! Fuck this all! I'm done. Out, gone, finished, done!

Storming across the room, I found a notepad and pen.

I'm sorry, team. I'll miss you all. You were my best friends.

I'm sorry Gideon.

I love you Maeve. I'll see you soon.

I crossed the room again, less frantic, and more determined. I picked up my phone, and shot off a text to Morgan.

'Catch the guy yet?'

I slammed the bottle of pills down on the table, and popped the lid open. I downed all of it, along some vodka.

The phone vibrated on the table.

'Yeah, on the plane. I'm coming over with drinks when we get back. K? We're going to get you back on your feet.'

I set the phone back down. I crossed the room, sat down, and picked up The Narrative Of John Smith. I settled in, and waited.

A knock came at the door. I barely registered it. I was almost gone…why couldn't the door let me go in peace…

"Reid! Open up! I brought the whole crew down to see you." The smile in Morgan's voice was obvious.

"Go away. I'm busy." I slurred. I stumbled up onto my feet.

"Reid? You okay?"

I slumped down against the door, in hopes that it would keep them from coming in by force.

"Reid, you're worrying me out here. Talk to me."

"Trying to sleep."

"Reid! Damnit, let us in!"

With the door shuddering as Morgan pounded against it, I passed out.

Gideon-

This is Hotchner.

You told me to only use this address in case of emergency, but I think that this counts.

Spencer needs help. You've always been great at talking to him. We almost lost him yesterday. The doctors said that if we'd been a few minutes later, then he wouldn't have made it.

Please. You've always been able to talk to Spencer. He needs this now.

I'm writing this around midnight on a whim that hit me. Sooo if it isn't perfect, then sorry.