A/N: Well...hello, again. It certainly has been awhile since I've even been on , but here we go.
It started out innocent enough. Then again, so did they all.
She sat down to eat with you, never saying more than a few words or even looking at you with what you'd grown accustomed to from everyone else. You remember it quite vividly, the first time Cameron sat down at the empty table with her hair in that untidy bun and blonde strands falling into her face that she haphazardly swapped behind her ears.
Irritation, is what you first felt. It'd been five weeks since you ate in this cafeteria, walked these monotonous halls intended to be warm and inviting and instead, making you feel like your coffin was already surrounding you. The looks of pity were enough for you to lock yourself into your office for that first day, tired of the 'I'm sorry's,' the 'How are you's,' the 'I'm here for you's,' the 'Everything happens for a reason's,' the 'You're strong's,' and the looks.
The looks are what made you toss the objects on your desk onto the empty floor, the clattering of various knick knacks dull on the dark carpet reducing what should have satisfying and dynamic into something utterly anti-climactic. That's when you fell to the floor, slumping on the side of your desk, head in your hands, as you dry heaved into what was once, the only space you cared about. A minute passed, at least, that's what you thought at the time but now that memories have blurred, it doesn't seem right.
Realizing the mess, you sighed before leaning forward for the nearest dolls and books. By the time you were done rearranging your office into the version it had been before, it was lunch, and House had never once come by. As you locked your door, you were relieved you hadn't seen him since she passed over a month ago. You hadn't let yourself wonder at the ramifications because it was all too soon. Everything was too soon.
You nodded your head, tried to quirk your lips up on one side for some semblance of composure, accepted the pats on the shoulder, and handed out some 'Thank you's.' You never meant an action or a word you said and did. You wondered how anyone bought it coming from your lips, and then you remembered, you have superpowers. Too bad you couldn't care less about world domination now.
The table where you usually sat held no bodies, but you couldn't find it in yourself to place your warmth where she'd sat opposite you on more than one occasion. Your feet hesitated as if confused at why the destination had suddenly changed, but you marched on to sit at a table beside the window and near the corner. It was quieter here, less charged, less memory filled. And that's when she came.
"Do you mind if I eat with you?"
It would've have been rude to say no, and even while you thought your tongue was going to give way to your id, some propriety still hung with you for some reason.
"I'm fine," you managed to say without sounding curt like you thought you would. And when you didn't see the pink scrubs she wore move from the corner of your eyes, you looked up again to see something you hadn't seen so far today. Allison Cameron was irritated, not like you were, but it was there, barely brazen enough to shine through her hazel eyes.
Even as it disappeared, her body shifting to move away, you dropped your fork with a strong hand as if in defeat. It wasn't far from the truth.
"If you sit, I don't want to talk about...it."
And so she sat, her fingers brushing back her wayward hair behind her gentle ears and you couldn't help but see another woman run her fingers through equally blonde hair in exasperation. You picked up your fork then, harshly jabbing into your salad to throw the memory to the back of your mind where many other thoughts were gaining dust from years of forced forgetfulness.
"I was supposed to eat with Chase until he dumped me for a mitral valve replacement."
Even though you knew it was forced small talk, you didn't mind for the first time that day and that made you look at her as she took a bite of her sandwich. Cameron was beautiful. As soon as the thought whirred across your mind, you blinked because it held no weight. It was the truth, and there was no beauty or greatness about that.
"Who could pass up a valve?"
The words slipped by so fast that even you didn't think you'd uttered them. When she shook her head, her eyes meeting his with something he couldn't call pity and couldn't call sympathy, you shrugged your shoulders under the blue and white striped, wrinkled button up shirt.
You would sit there with her for another fifteen minutes, the two of you down to sipping your water and coffee while the rest of the hospital cafeteria bustled with noise that made you grind your teeth together. You had the distinct feeling it would always be like this: cold and too loud, too disjointed and unreal.
That's when the blonde ER attending stood, tossing her trash into the can located just a table away and you watched her long and limber arm muscles draw tight, her torso twisting slightly to the right as one leg bore the majority of her light weight while the other lifted slightly.
Somewhere in the moment, you thought she may have missed her calling as a figure skater or a ballerina. Why it would even come into your conscious thought, you didn't know, but you didn't know a lot then either.
"Thanks, Wilson. I'll see you later."
She didn't wait for your reply which you were grateful for. It was as if it was any other day. You tossed your cup into the trash barrel before making your way through the crowd of doctors and nurses meandering in to find sustenance after a long morning. This time when they looked at you and offered their meaningless apologies, you realized Cameron had done something for you.
She wasn't sorry for you. For your situation, yes. But for you? No, you were pretty sure she wasn't. That was the only reason you made it through the whole day.
A/N: Well? My first non-H/C fic, so how was it on a pain level of 1-10? For those of you waiting on INS, don't worry, I'll be updating eventually! The 2 parter finale saved the entire season for me. I actually went ahead and watched the 2 or 3 eps before that since I hadn't bothered before. The finale was just fantastic in my opinion. Many thanks.