This is a fanfic based upon the song that Mateo and Lily danced to at the Cantina, after she found out what his family did for a living and said her goodbyes. 'Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps' is the English version of the song 'Quizás, quizás, quizás' – not a direct translation, from what I've gathered from the internet.
Disclaimer: No ownership of OTM or the song 'Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.'
The Cantina was busy tonight, but not too busy that there wasn't enough room for couples to dance.
Two bodies moving in sync with each other was a beautiful thing to watch, and Lily could only wish that she had someone to lose herself on the dance floor with. But the one man whose arms she wanted around her was sitting across the room at the bar. It might as well have been across the country, the chasm between them was so wide.
Her boss. He was off limits, plus he belonged to someone else – make that two someones, his wife and his girlfriend. Or was that ex-girlfriend?
It was complicated.
Lily was sitting with Mina and Tommy at their usual table, enjoying a drink after their long shift and watching the couples on the dance floor. Neither Tommy nor Mina was the type to get up and dance, so it didn't even occur to Lily to ask Tommy. Dr. Keeton was her only option, but that would never happen. He seemed content to sit with his scotch, chatting to a young man beside him at the bar. Little did Lily know that she was the topic of their conversation.
Keeton usually wasn't one to socialize at the Cantina, but the guy beside him at the bar had recognized him from the clinic and struck up a conversation. He was a law student who had just returned to the area because of a family situation. Seemed like a nice enough kid. Articulate. Friendly. A bit too preoccupied with Lily Brenner, for Keeton's liking, but he was in no position to take issue. Brenner was off limits to him. The moment that Keeton had pointed out his group of new doctors to Mateo, Keeton knew that the kid's focus was on his dark haired doctor.
How long had she been here…how long is her rotation…is she seeing anyone…Keeton was unimpressed with Mateo's line of questioning. But unimpressed or not, Keeton had no say about Lily's love life. He had enough trouble keeping his own in check.
Apparently, Keeton had answered all of Mateo's questions to his satisfaction, as the kid excused himself from the bar and made his way over to the table of doctors. The smile Lily directed toward Mateo made Keeton's gut clench, but again, she was off limits to him. Reaching out to take Mateo's offered hand, they made their way to the dance floor.
Keeton had no idea Lily could move like that. She and Mateo moved in tandem, their movements shadowing each other. Even in cargos and a tank top, Lily was amazingly sexy – he hadn't ever seen her that free before. His scotch long-gone, he sat at the bar and watched the couple on the dance floor. Song after song, Keeton was entranced.
He didn't know how much time he sat there watching, but Mateo and Lily made their way to the bar to cool down. The other doctors had left for their cabins a while ago, but Lily and Mateo had continued to dance. Keeton had seen enough.
Even knowing that it wasn't his place, he opened his mouth anyway. "Brenner, you have an early morning tomorrow. Don't you think you should head back to your cabin? You must be exhausted after the kind of day you've had."
"I feel pretty good right now, but I guess you're right. The time got away from me – I haven't danced like that in a long time." she smiled.
Not wanting the night to end, Mateo asked, "Can I walk you back to your cabin?"
Keeton knew he had no right, but he answered for her, "That's okay, Mateo. I'm heading back that way anyway. I'll take her home – keep her safe." Lily's head swiveled and she pinned Keeton with her incredulous gaze. Was he answering for her now? Lily hadn't been inclined to allow Mateo to walk her back to her cabin in the first place, but Dr. Keeton answering for her put her back up. Lily made a point of turning to face Mateo, her back to her boss. "Thanks for the offer, Mateo. Maybe I'll see you again?" Lily's voice was hopeful. Mateo kissed Lily's cheek and they said their good-nights in front of Keeton, who experienced a faint taste of bile in his mouth from witnessing the display. But before Lily and Mateo could make any future plans, Keeton took a gentle but firm hold of Lily's elbow and steered her out of the Cantina and down the path back to the Clinic.
Her cabin was on the other side of the clinic, close to the water – a beautiful spot. It was one of the few perks, working in such a remote location. The pay was crap, the equipment and conditions were archaic, but waking up in the morning to see the soft light rising over the bay was definitely a selling feature in the brochure.
Lily shook off his hand. "What was that about?" Lily demanded, her frustration with Dr. Keeton evident.
"You just met the guy, Brenner. You don't think that I was going to let him find out where you live? He seemed nice enough, but you don't know…he could be involved in drugs, or gangs or guns…anything." It was his job to look out for his doctors, at least that's what Keeton told himself. Mateo knew where the clinic was, but he didn't need to know where Lily lived as well.
What was he, her self-proclaimed protector? Lily grabbed Dr. Keeton's arm and spun him around to face her, holding him in place. Realistically, she knew that if he wanted to pull away, he could, but for whatever reason he let her detain him. "I wasn't about to let him walk me home, Dr. Keeton. You may make the big decisions at work, but I'm on my own time right now. I'm a big girl and I don't need you to make my decisions for me."
"Duly noted, Brenner. Now can we continue? I'd like to catch at least a few hours of sleep before the clinic opens," was Keeton's sardonic reply.
Realizing that both of her hands were holding onto the arms of her boss, Lily let go and stepped around him to start walking. She hadn't missed the strength of those arms beneath her hands. She'd made note of the warmth of his bare skin and fine hairs beneath her fingers – fingers that were still tingling from the contact.
They walked in silence for a few moments until Keeton asked the question that had been on his mind since he first saw her dance with Mateo. "So, where did you learn to dance like that?"
"Brian and I took lessons in preparation for our wedding. I'd taken dance all through school, but he was more of a shift from one foot to the other kind of dancer. Initially, we both just took a few classes to learn how to waltz together, but found that we really enjoyed it. But then the waltz led to the rumba, and the samba, and the tango..." her voice drifted off will a shrug of her shoulders. "It's a beautiful thing to see two people who know how to dance move together, their bodies shadowing one another. When they're really good, it's like being a voyeur – like watching them make love." Realizing what she had just said, Lily blushed, thankful for the moonlight that made it undetectable by Dr. Keeton. Keeton felt his body react to Lily's words.
As they approached the cabins, Keeton replied, "Me too. Abby and I did the same thing. She had no coordination," Keeton chuckled. "She was a brilliant doctor, but when it came to the awareness of her body in relation to other people and the things around her, she was such a klutz. It didn't always inspire confidence in her abilities as a doctor let me tell you. So in preparation for our wedding, I suggested that we take dance lessons. She was afraid for my safety, but eventually caved. We had fun." Keeton smiled at Lily in the moonlight, and she was staggered by the weight of emotion she felt. She wondered if he realized that he spoke of his wife in the past tense.
Standing there, smiling at each other, they slowly became aware of music drifting from the Cantina. Quizás, quizás, quizás - a rumba. Lily had only heard the English version, and in her mind started to substitute the words she knew…
You won't admit you love me, and so
how am I ever to know
you always tell me
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
"Dance with me?" asked Lily softly. She'd always loved the rumba.
"What, here?" Here was the grassy area by her cabin, along side the beach. The moon was high and full, bathing them in a silvery glow. Keeton's reply was just a token protest, as he wanted nothing more than to take Lily in his arms, but he was aware of the dangers of doing just that. Damning himself and the dangers, he gathered her close and took her hand in his, placing his other hand at her waist. They began to move.
A million times I've asked you, and then
I ask you over again
you only answer
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Who knew that a simple box-step could be so sensuous – so passionate? Their upper bodies' quiet, the sensual, smooth sway of hips, eyes never leaving each others. Keeton took command of Lily's body, leading her through a series of movements that caused their bodies to flirt with contact, but never quite satisfied that need for more than a brief few seconds.
If you can't make your mind up
we'll never get started
and I don't want to wind up
being parted, broken-hearted
Lily never questioned Keeton's lead, never faltering through the sequence of steps, trusting him implicitly for the more complicated lifts and turns. They both felt the connection; it gave them the freedom to touch – permission to feel. Soon, technique was discarded in favour of closer contact. Both of Keeton's arms wrapped around Lily bringing her body flush against him; Lily's arms were around his neck, her hands buried in his hair. Losing themselves in each other, their bodies were too close for their dance to be considered rumba, but it was most definitely a dance for lovers.
So if you really love me, say yes
but if you don't dear, confess
and please don't tell me
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Their bodies moved like liquid, the music and the moonlight weaving its' spell. Keeton raised Lily's arms over her head, slowly moving his hands down the outside of her arms, lower still to skim the sides of her breasts. Her arms lowered, her hands came to rest on the shoulders of her partner. Lifting Lily under her arms, Keeton raised her above his head, the sinewy strength of his forearms evident. Slowly, his lips grazed her belly, then the warm space between her breasts as he lowered her against him, finally skimming the fragrant column of her throat, breaking contact before his lips could capture hers.
If you can't make your mind up
we'll never get started
and I don't want to wind up
being parted, broken-hearted
Wrapping one arm around her waist, Keeton smoothly lifted Lily, his other hand at her thigh encouraging her legs to wrap around his hips. Walking her backwards over to her cabin, he stopped when her back was at the wall. His intense gaze traveled from her eyes down to her mouth, its' unstoppable pull almost causing him to break his own rule. She's off limits. You cannot kiss this woman – if you kiss her, you're done. He knew that once he had a taste of her, he'd want more. This woman caused his moral compass to spin wildly out of control.
So if you really love me, say yes
but if you don't dear, confess
and please don't tell me
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Their kiss was raw and hungry. Demanding. White-hot need scorched them both. He wanted her hot, hard and fast up against the cabin wall. He wanted her slow and sweet in her bed. This woman had him all twisted up inside; she'd left him feeling like he'd been walking a tight rope of need for months ever since she became a part of his staff, a part of his life. He knew that there'd be consequences, but nothing mattered except the beautiful woman who was wrapped around him. "You have no idea how crazy you made me, watching you dance with him. I was ready to punch that guy in the face if he so much as touched you."
Keeton's words affected Lily as no others had, fanning the flames inside her. "Do no harm, Dr. Keeton…remember?" was her cheeky reply. Finally, he was in her arms, his mouth on hers, wiping away all thought, all reason. Tomorrow there'd be repercussions, but right now he was hers and Lily wasn't about to let him walk away. And he'd done an awful lot of walking away from her these past couple of months; especially after some of the intense experiences and discussions they'd shared with each other.
"Dr. Keeton. You have to let me go." Lily said, tearing her mouth from his.
"No way in hell, Brenner. Not this time." She was crazy if she thought that she was getting away from him. Now that she was in his arms and he felt her response, neither of them was going anywhere.
He'd misunderstood. She chuckled, "No, Dr. Keeton…I can't touch you the way I want to if you don't let me go."
Keeton allowed Lily to remove her legs from around his waist, helping to support her as she lowered them to the ground. The powerful effect of this man on her equilibrium almost caused her legs to fold under her own weight. Luckily, Keeton wasn't in any rush to release his hold. "Steady, Brenner," he said with a chuckle of his own.
Lily grabbed hold of the hem on her tank top and peeled it off her upper body, her lacy, pale blue bra the only barrier between her skin and the moonlight. The silvery glow couldn't disguise the predatory look that flashed in Keeton's eyes. Reaching out, Lily's fingers started to work the buttons on his shirt, releasing them one by one until his shirt hung open, her fingers gliding over the smooth planes of his chest, brushing his nipples lightly. Keeton's sharp intake of breath had Lily smiling, "Steady, Dr. Keeton."
"Don't you think it's time you start calling me Ben?"
"Only if you call me Lily."
"You'll always be Brenner to me. But when I make you scream my name, it might just be easier for you to call me Ben." Keeton felt Lily's hands at his zipper, carefully lowering it tooth by tooth until his jeans sagged. Reaching into his boxers, she palmed him, his erection hard and thick in her hand. Lily smiled at Keeton's deep groan as she circled the moist tip with her thumb.
"Not if you scream my name first, Dr. Keeton."