Disclaimer: I do not own CSI!! Not making money with any of this either ;)
AN: Someone probably already wrote a fic like this, LOL but I couldn't help it, had to write my own little story about 808 ;)
Thousand Thanks to Rhee for beta reading!
Spoilers: only if you haven't seen 808 (and probably 807)
Summary: Greg confronts Grissom
You Suck
It was a long time since his shift had ended and even Hodges had left the lab, he sure didn't expect Greg, of all people, to storm into his office.
Raising an eyebrow he gave him a questioning look. The young man didn't take a seat, with his hands on his hips, he gave Grissom an angry look.
"Greg?" Gil asked after a moment, breaking the crushing silence in the room.
"What?" He asked him, his voice sounding annoyed for no apparent reason, after all it had been him entering Grissom's office not the other way around.
"Anything you want to say to me?" He took off his glasses, putting them down on the table next to the picture frame that held Sara's picture - if he could just see her smile like this again.
Greg took a deep breath. "You suck."
Startled about this comment Gil's jaw just dropped open and he stared at Greg. He was speechless.
Clearing his throat Greg eventually sat down. "You, you... how could you not see what was wrong with her?"
He would lie if he'd say that he had not been asking this question to himself over and over again in the last seven days. But after he had talked to Sara he had finally realized that in fact Sara had never wanted him to see how much she suffered.
"Why, Grissom? I mean I am not even living with her and still I knew that she was falling apart." Greg sounded really angry and confused.
Gil swallowed hard, knowing there was more to come.
"You know, I never said anything, but I think if she was my girlfriend then this never would have happened." The tone Greg's voice changed from angry to sad.
In that very moment Grissom realized how Greg's behavior towards him had changed ever since that moment when he had revealed that he and Sara were together. Could it really be that what Sara had always considered to only be a harmless crush had actually been much more? Was Greg in love with Sara?
Of course, on the one hand Grissom could understand very well why someone would fall in love with Sara - he himself had fallen in love with her head over heels the very moment they had met, but what he could not understand was why Greg hadn't noticed that Sara did not return these feelings - because it seemed pretty obvious now that Greg had been thinking that he had an actual chance with Sara until he found out about her and Grissom.
"You said you'd love her, so why were you not there for her when she needed you?" He shook his head again. "I don't get it. If you love her as much as you say then why are you still here?" He clenched his hands into fists. "I love her and I know she doesn't feel the same for me, you love her and you are so damned lucky that for some weird, completely incomprehensible reason she loves you back."
He actually didn't know whether to be angry or to be proud of Greg for finally stepping up and telling him into his face what he thought of him - of course the things Greg said weren't really pleasant things but at least he started to emerge from everyone's shadows and finally spoke out for himself.
"You know, honestly, I don't get it. You let her fall apart, you claim to love her and you just let her fall apart. You didn't deserve her, not for a second. You didn't deserve her love and still she gave it to you and you screwed her up." Greg got up from his seat, heading for the door. "I know you're going to fire me for this so I'll head to the lockers room and clear my locker." He sighed. "Probably shouldn't have said anything, but you know what, getting this off my chest was pretty relieving."
Grissom cleared his throat. "You're not fired Greg."
Greg raised an eyebrow.
"You're not fired." Gil shrugged. "You're right, I never deserved her love, at least not in the first seven years that we've known each other and still she kept loving me. But when we got together, Greg, I swear I did everything I could to make her happy and she was happy." He offered Greg a seat and after considering it for a moment he walked back into the office and sat down.
For a while they remained in silence, Grissom stared at the picture of Sara while Greg started down on his hands. "I know that she was happy. I'm sorry for what I said." Greg eventually said.
"No, it's okay." Grissom took a deep breath, then sighed. "I've been asking myself over and over again why I didn't see how much she suffered, and the truth is I have no idea why, when I found out, I didn't insist that she'd talk about it with me... I guess, I guess I thought she'd be able to deal with it. For her whole life she's always dealt with everything on her own, she never needed or wanted anyone to help her, I thought she wouldn't let me help her so I let it go, ignored the urge to make her talk to me..."
Greg looked at Grissom well knowing that this was probably the first time in his life that Gil Grissom was telling somebody what he felt - except for Sara of course. It did make him feel uncomfortable, he was sure Jim or Catherine would be able to deal with this way better than he could but now it was too late.
"The day she left... I knew I had to talk to her, but then she took off for the prison before I could stop her. The next time I saw her I was discussing trace results with Hodges in the hallway and she walked over to me and kissed me, then she left without a word and before I could pull myself together she was out of my sight. I tried to find her but she was gone. She left me a letter, that's all she left me. She didn't return my calls for three days and I was going insane." Now he didn't care whether or not Greg was there, he picked up the picture frame and let his thumb run over Sara's face. "I didn't understand, you know, I just didn't understand why she left... left me..." He looked up, noticing just how uncomfortable Greg was. "I'm sorry..." He said softly.
Greg swallowed hard. "No, it's okay." He tried to fake a smile. "So, did you... you know, I mean... did you get a hold of her?"
He nodded. "She called me on Monday. She's with her Mom in San Francisco."
"Well that's good I suppose." Greg really tried to sound optimistic.
"Yeah." Grissom really tried to believe that.
Silence followed once again, until Greg just couldn't hold back his question any longer. "Did she say when she'd be back?"
The painful expression in Grissom's eyes was answer enough.
"I'm sorry." Greg looked down on his hands again.
"She said she had to do this alone... she said every time that I was around her she tried too hard to pretend that everything was fine. She said she didn't want me to worry and she didn't want me to think that she wasn't happy with me..." Grissom looked up at Greg again. "That's why I didn't notice earlier. She wanted things between us to be all perfect so badly that she couldn't bare to tell me how she felt when I wasn't around."
"She wanted to be alright for you." Greg almost whispered. "Why don't you go see her?"
Grissom sighed. "She doesn't want to see me."
"She said that?" Greg asked in shock.
Gil quickly shook his head. "No, but I know it. She said she needs to do this by herself... and I have to respect that."
"Since when?" Greg raised an eyebrow.
A short smile flashed over his lips. "I know... but I really think she means it this time. She wants to do this by herself and I have to let her go. All she needs is to know that I will be here waiting for her when she comes home and that she does know."
Greg nodded softly. "I'm really sorry for what I said earlier. She's lucky to have you as her boyfriend... I really mean that."
"Fiancé." Grissom corrected Greg.
The young man's eyes widened, then he chuckled. That was so typical, of course they had been keeping back this little tid bit of information from them. "When did you guys..."
"About a month ago." Gil said softly, remembering the moment. Gosh had he just known how much Sara had been suffering underneath that smiling, happy facade, maybe she'd still be here then.
Greg gave him a smile, trying to cheer him up. "Never thought Sara would ever get about her anti-marriage thing."
Grissom smirked a little. "Yeah. Well she did kind of freak out when I asked her."
Greg raised an eyebrow.
A smile built up on Gil's face. "She came to join me with the bees and I convinced her to take off her gloves to actually feel the bee on her hand. Bees sting you when you freak out..."
"She got stung by a bee when you proposed to her?" Greg chuckled.
"Yupp." Grissom rolled his eyes. "Should have seen that coming."
"Aw, well you do know what they say about rain on your wedding day, right?" Greg asked, a grin building up on his lips.
"How does that compare to a bee sting?" Gil asked slightly confused.
"Well rain on your wedding day, a bee sting during your proposal, that's like almost the same thing." Greg shrugged. "Where I am heading with this is that it means good luck." His grin got wider when Grissom started to smile. "You'll get your happy end."
THE END