I just wanted to make sure you guys know this is my first fanfic, so I still have a lot to learn. I'm okay with criticism and will try to update as often as possible (I will not create a schedule)

Dan Howell had been my one escape. The one that would always make me laugh no matter what. But then he found Kat and it all changed. He forgot about me and everything we had. But now he acts like nothing happened. He comes to me about Kat and shares all their problems with me.

"It's just like she doesn't care anymore. She's been with her ex-boyfriend Nate twice now. I just don't know what to do. I love her so much." he confessed, looking down at his hands. Hearing him say he loved her was disorienting.

"You should straight up ask her if she loves Nate. It's just going to cause you more pain if you don't know the answer." It was strange, helping the guy I loved with the girl he loved. He surged forward and hugged me tightly. I squeezed back but cringed. Cant he tell how much it hurts when he does this?

His phone rang, playing the High School Musical theme song. "That's Kat. Thank you." he patted me on the knee and lifted himself off of the couch to talk to the girl he loved so much. I could hear the buzz of his voice over the episode of Friends I was watching. It seemed to be going good.

Phil walked out of his room and came over to sit by me on the couch. "'Hey Brooke," he spoke over Joey explaining what'd happened over the last episode. I mumbled a hello and we made saracastic comments about the episode until Dan came back in, unsmiling.

"She told me that if I had a problem with her hanging out with an ex than I must not trust her. But she just keeps acting like she can do anything she wants and get away with it. I don't know if I can do it anymore," he slumped down on the couch and rubbed his eyes. Phil and I gave him positive comments and pats, attempting to be comforting despite our awkwardness. Dan breathed out an brought his head up to stare at my shoes. "I'm done." in a dreamlike trance, Dan retreated to his bedroom.

I watched the dim glow of his room get smaller till he closed the door. Phil and I looked at each other. "Should we make pancakes? I could put maltesers in them..." I tried my best to look him in the eye without glancing away.

"Yeah but we should probably wait a bit for him to sorta...compose himself or something." We decided to watch Vampire Diaries, which turned out to not be as cheesy as I thought it would be. The occasional bang could be heard from Dan's room but we decided to ignore it.

After having a very entertaining pancake flipping contest with Phil, I knocked on Dan's door. Silence for a few seconds, and I studied the light wood of his door. Then I heard a muffled "come in". The door creaked open to reveal a very disheveled Dan, half-hidden underneath his dark bedcovers. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, arm twisted behind me, holding the handle.

"Are you okay with me being here?" I cocked my head to see under his covers better and bit my lip to look more innocent. Paths of the conversation flew through my head. If he is crying I'll console him and then cheer him up, ending with a physical comedy movie like Blades of Glory. If he's angry I'll really push the innocent card and make him soften.

"Yeah," his voice sounded level, emotionless. Which was even worse than I'd thought it would be. If you've never experienced this before, allow me to explain. If someone becomes so emotional, they may decide to stop it all and create a barrier. A barrier that keeps it all inside, clawing at your insides to be let out. But sometimes that barrier is the only thing keeping you sane.

I walked up to the lump of off-black in front of me and touched the bed tentatively, making sure I wasn't about to sit on Dan, and sat down. He moved the covers to completely reveal the other half of his face. "I'm fine, I don't really want to get into it now. I just need a distraction or something."

I blinked, surprised at how straightforward he was being. "Okay, ummmm... Blockbuster?" I asked, suddenly unsure of my words. His eyes were stale brown instead of his usual warm chocolate. I've never understood how people can tell so much from eyes. In books they always say they saw fear, love and anger in someone's eyes, but in real life you can't tell much.

"Still trying to keep them in business?" he asked me, smirking. I'd explained to him before how I hated the 'RedBoxes' and all the onDemand, straining the original reliable Blockbusters. He got out of his bed, and started towards his wardrobe. I giggled at his skinny legs in the current shorts he'd changed into and turned around.

"What movies do you want to rent?" he interrupted my scrolling on Pheed.

I peeked over at him to make sure he was dressed, seeing his head getting caught in the collar of his shirt. I laughed quietly and walked over to help him. "I don't know what ever we see there, I guess." Some of his flat-ironed hair stuck up under the friction. I made him stop moving and shimmied it down his head. Finally, his face was revealed, his eyes closed lips pressed.

I clapped my hands an inch from his face and laughed as he flailed backwards. "Bloody hell!" He hit his head on his wardrobe and fell onto the black rug. "Oh shit, sorry!" I kneeled down and waited for him to get ahold of the pain. He finally moved his hand from his face and blinked. "Where did you hit your head?" he lightly brushed the back of his head with his palm.

"I don't think I'm bleeding and it's just a dull throbbing now," He laughed while I attempted to apologize. "Its fine, I'm fine." It was funny, him reassuring me. He hugged me and pulled me up. We got Phil and our coats, and left for Blockbuster.

I know the story sounds really light now but I promise it WILL get better (and no, there will be no self-harming, eating disorders, suicides or anything else related) the sad part of Dan might've been overpowering him at that moment but that does not mean he is depressed since he could push it away so easily.