"Jimmy!" Before he could turn around from his work, Abby had him crushed in a bear hug. She released him reluctantly, still holding his arms. "What were you thinking?"
"H-Hi, Abby."
Her perpetual smile was gone, replaced with a frown. "Chasing down that criminal yourself? Crashing your car into him?" She looked almost disappointed in him.
"Uh, yeah, that. I couldn't let him get away, Abby. I just couldn't." He didn't know how to explain to her how important it was that he caught Milos.
"Let him go, Abby." Gibbs answered from behind her, unnoticed by either of them. "He did catch the guy after all."
"But, Gibbs, he could have been shot. He should have known better." Her hands dropped to her sides, hands fidgeting. Only then did Jimmy realize that she wasn't disappointed in him, she was worried, the same way she worried about Gibbs and Tim and Tony and Ziva. She'd never had to worry about him before.
"Yeah, he could have. But he wasn't."
Only because you guys showed up, Jimmy thought. That's something Abby didn't need to know.
Abby shook her finger just inches from Jimmy's face. "Be more careful next time."
"I will, Abby. I promise." Jimmy nodded.
"You'd better." She hugged him again before leaving with Gibbs.
--
After everything was cleaned up, Jimmy decided to try emailing his mom again. But once again, he just stared at the blank screen. He had news this time, good news, but he still couldn't bring himself to type it. He just couldn't get the conversations he'd had with Ducky and Gibbs out of his head.
"It's not about the fear, it's about what you do with it."
"You have to know what's in your bones."
"Don't get out of the car."
"Now you've got something to write home about."
Something had been off since the start of the investigation, and it's not just the fact he'd been shot at. Chasing after a mysterious man was not something he'd have done when he first started at NCIS. It wasn't fear that motivated him to do as much as he could to solve the case. He'd seen how the work had affected each member of the team on a personal level. The scenes played before him like a film: the team racing to find Ducky before he bled to death, Tony going to jail and Abby stretch her skills to the limit to save him, Rallying around McGee in the shooting death of an undercover cop, rescuing Abby from her stalker, saving McGee's sister from a murder charge, the search for La Grenouille, Kate's death, even Gibbs' near death experiences. For a brief time, he'd been a part of that, and it felt right, as right as the time he'd spent in medical school, or working alongside Dr Mallard. The only question was, what did he do now?
"How's the letter going?" Gibbs asked.
"It's not." Jimmy turned to look at Gibbs. "Can I talk to you?"
"What's up?"
He paused for a moment. "I hope you're not upset with me for what happened today."
"Should I be?" There was a trace of amusement in Gibbs's face.
"I put myself and the team at risk...It was reckless and stupid." It took all Jimmy's willpower not to fidget and keep his hands steady on the desk.
"Yeah, it was. But I understand why you did it. Just don't let it happen again."
"What if I want it to happen again? I mean, not the crashing the car because that hurt, but becoming a field agent?" Jimmy's voice held a hopeful tone.
"Is that what you want?" The senior agent's expression changed to one that was completely serious.
That was the question. "Dr. Mallard told me that I had to know what's in my bones. All I know was that working with you guys felt like it fit, like working with Dr. Mallard in the lab."
Gibbs smiled, patting Jimmy's shoulder. "Give it a week or two, let the adrenaline wear off. If you're still interested, we'll talk."
His face lit up for only a moment before he composed himself. "Seriously?"
"Do I lie?"
"N-No, of course not. Thank you."
"You're welcome. I'll leave you to your letter now." As Gibbs left, Jimmy started typing away, grinning from ear to ear.
When Gibbs got to the bullpen, Ducky was standing there, waiting. "And what did Mr. Palmer say?"
"You were right, Duck, he's thinking about it."
Ducky smiled. "I'd hate to lose him, but I think he'd be a fine agent."
"I do too."