Title: Being Practical- The Ishida Uryuu Method
Author: Celeste
Feedback: (yes!)
Universe: Bleach
Pairing: ChadxIshida (yaaaay crack-fic!)
Rating: PG-13 for very obvious shounen-ai themes
Word Count: 1,757
Time: About 1:14 (with minor edits)
Spoilers: Not really.
Summary: Ishida is impatient with Chad's inefficiency.
Dedication: JaB again, because she was so poking me with a stick to write this and IT IS ENTIRELY HER FAULT. I think we both like these crack-pairings a little too much sometimes. But damn, Ishida is so gay. O.o
Disclaimer: Not mine. Otherwise I wouldn't have such a hard time trying to get the merchandise, dammit!
Distribution: Just lemme know.
Ishida Uryuu liked to think that he was practical when it came down matters of his own character.
He could be accused of being over-dramatic when it came to some things, of course, but overall, he thought the balance of rationality to irrationality in himself was tipped in his favor when it came down to the grand scheme of things.
Take for instance, his personal life.
It had taken him a while to see it for what it was, but deciding that he was indeed gay hadn't perturbed him in the way it seemed to perturb some people, and once fully knowledgeable and accepting of the situation, he did the only thing that made any sense given his discovery.
He became the president of the arts and crafts club.
Swishy jackets and shiny glasses aside, that was a very practical thing to do, and he liked to think that it reflected his character in a very fitting way.
He knew when to call a spade a goddamn spade and get on with it.
It was too much to pitter on about it, to try and convince himself towards the contrary, and truth be told, he really did like handicrafts. Especially making things like tea cozies or embroidering handkerchiefs. Aesthetic attractiveness that added to the usefulness of everyday objects was pleasing to the eye and in and of itself, very satisfying work.
Utility, industriousness, and beauty all rolled up into one.
Ishida was after all, a practical man.
He liked sewing, embroidery, knitting, crocheting; some forms of weaving, and on occasion, flower arranging. Such projects made multiple, useful contributions to his life and to the lives of those around him.
Ishida Uryuu was a paradigm of many such positive characteristics, a model to fellow classmates in thought and behavior (if not always, personality).
He was fifteen years old, intelligent, attractive, fashionable, clean-cut, polite…
…and president of the arts and crafts club.
Yeah.
The girls had stopped asking him out months ago.
Which in and of itself was a great relief to him, seeing as to how he'd fully accepted the fact that he didn't like them in return, and it was too much of a hassle to have to one by one, let them all know that he was completely uninterested in the female sex as a whole.
If being president of the arts and crafts club wasn't like waving an enormous rainbow-colored gay pride banner in their worshipful faces, then he didn't know what was.
Two birds with one stone, there. He could get his sewing done and at the same time, let the world know precisely where he stood in the scheme of things.
Thus, having done so himself, he'd known exactly what was up when Sado Yasutora joined the club too.
The larger boy couldn't sew to save his life, and in the first hour, had pricked himself so many times with the needles that, had he not been completely indestructible, Ishida might have worried about death by blood loss.
When prompted why he wanted to join the club, Chad's reply of "Because…" followed by a pregnant pause and then, "…I wanted to," was enough to affirm all of Ishida's suspicions, and after about the fiftieth time Chad had poked himself, the shorter boy had taken the stitching out of his hand, sat down next to him, and very civilly began teaching him how to knit.
Yasutora was well on his way to creating a very becoming scarf.
Tomorrow during meeting, Ishida planned to sit next to him and teach him the wonders of alternating color schemes in his knitting. Stripes were very in this season, after all.
And even though Ishida knew that half the time would be spent uselessly, as Chad would be too busy not concentrating on the lesson to learn it properly, he would teach him anyway, and give the big oaf at most, another week to figure things out for himself before the Quincy, in all practicality, gave up on letting him work things out alone and told him straight out (in a manner of speaking) exactly what was going on.
Being practical, Ishida didn't want to rush the other boy, but neither was he too keen on wasting too much time either.
Chad didn't look it, but he was smart enough to eventually come to the conclusion everyone else had the moment he'd walked into the arts and crafts club's door for the first time. Until then, the archer would make the most of their time in the clubroom and instruct Chad on all the finer points of handicrafts.
Four days into Chad's membership and one scarf, half a mitten, and the bottom section of a failed hat later saw the taller boy still not having said a thing to Ishida yet.
Uryuu considered it a monumental delay in precious time, despite the fact that Chad's knitting had improved enough for him to move on and begin crocheting lessons next.
But he still gave him the entire seven days.
After the allotted week had passed and there had still been nothing said, Ishida decided he'd very well had enough with this painful inefficiency on Yasutora's part.
He dismissed the girls in the club with a pointed look at them and a few subtle gestures towards Chad. They scattered like rodents, some snickering, some sobbing, some confused (Orihime, namely), and once left alone, he took up his seat next to Chad, embroidery in hand.
Chad looked up from his crochet-work for a moment, perceived that it was just Ishida beside him, and went right back working.
Ishida muttered something under his breath and adjusted his glasses before clearing his throat and proclaiming matter-of-factly, "You like me, don't you?"
Ishida liked to be efficient about these things, as he considered himself one of the more practical people in the class. He attributed his straightforwardness in dealing with such situations as he presently found himself in as evidence of the fact.
On the flatly laid out observation, Yasutora paused in his work, blinking at him for a moment because he hadn't quite expected Ishida to come out and say it in that way.
Ishida sighed as the silence dragged on, more time wasted with nothing said again. He pushed his glasses up on his face, tucked some of his hair back behind the ear-piece. "You like me, don't you?" he repeated, doubling the emphasis and slowing the speed.
Chad frowned at the tone, because he wasn't stupid (they both knew that), and made to speak. "I…" another long pause, "…yeah, I guess I do."
Ishida sighed and took the crocheting out of Chad's large hands. "You know, if you had just said so a week ago, you could have saved yourself all this trouble," he indicated, gesturing with the lopsided, half-finished doily.
Chad allowed a sort of rueful smile. "I didn't know what to tell you," he admitted flatly, taking the doily back and continuing with it anyway. "So…" he trailed off, hair falling into his face and obscuring his eyes from Ishida's scrutiny.
The smaller teen grew impatient again after a moment. "So?" he prompted, urging Yasutora on.
"So I figured…I'd come here. And let you do all the talking." He smiled on the admission, sphinx-like and peered down at Ishida through his bangs like he'd been one step ahead of the other boy the entire time.
Ishida shook his head, fiddled with his glasses again in obvious surprise (and slightly annoyed, but grudging admiration), realizing quickly enough that it was no use to be irritated with Chad now, since dwelling was rather pointless when it came to this sort of thing and they had already moved beyond the point they'd been stuck at for a week, which had been his ultimate goal in initiating the conversation anyway.
Best to keep going now- quickly, efficiently. "All right, then. Now that that's been established, what do you plan to do from here?" Ishida queried, eyeing with mild distaste, the rather clumsy way Chad handled his needle. Though he did have to admit the larger boy was improving with practice.
Chad shrugged one shoulder. "Dunno."
The Quincy was half-tempted to sit Yasutora down and explain to him why his plan of attack on the matter of courtship was severely wanting in effectiveness. They could have been making out by now (in fact, several days ago) if Chad had just worked out all the technicalities in his head beforehand. Instead, Ishida frowned and picked up his own embroidery again, telling himself that it was difficult to attempt to help those who would not first help themselves.
If Chad wanted to go about it this way, then there wasn't very much Ishida could to about it, seeing as to how it seemed the larger teen was immobile in both body and will.
They worked in silence for a while, and then, "How do you feel?"
Ishida blinked at the random inquiry. "I feel fine."
"Oh. That's good. But I meant about me."
The archer blinked again. "Oh. Of course." He turned to look at Chad eye to eye, who seemed speculative under the glare of his highly reflective glasses. "If I told you I liked you too, even though you tend to waste a lot of time, would you have a worthwhile reaction?"
Chad looked thoughtful. "What's a worthwhile reaction?"
Ishida groaned inwardly. Obviously, Yasutora didn't know an open invitation when he heard one. He put down his embroidery and decided he was done being patient with Chad's roundabout way of doing things. Pushing his glasses up, he once again took the other boy's doily from him and set it next to his work before settling himself very deliberately against Yasutora.
For a while, they sat like that.
"At this point, you're supposed to kiss me," Ishida stated drolly, arms crossed in obvious frustration.
"Oh. Okay."
So he did.
The next day, Chad presented Ishida with a too-long, slightly crooked red-and-white striped scarf.
Ishida decided that Chad should continue to attend club meetings even though the other boy's primary objective had been for the most part, successfully fulfilled. The scarf wasn't bad, for a first attempt (and thus still warranted wearing on Ishida's part), but Chad would have to keep coming to meetings if he ever hoped to improve his handicrafts.
It would be unreasonable to just stop after having learned so much, after all.
And Ishida liked to think that with his help, Chad could become just as practical as he was.
END