First chapter of my first fanfic! I was really trying to work on the characters and make them believable (as they are on the show), so I hoped I did OK.

I don't own iCarly, but if I did...well that would be just swell.

"What is that?" Freddie exclaimed, examining Spencer's latest attempt at an artwork.

"It's a terrier…made out of lettuce!" Spencer informed him proudly, "Can't you tell?"

"Um…oh yeah! I think I can see it now."

"Could you make an Alsatian out of ham?" Sam asked hopefully from where she lay sprawled across the couch.

"It's possible…" Spencer pondered.

Freddie sighed, "Ignore her, Spencer. All she ever thinks about is food."

"Hey!" Sam replied indignantly, "Is it my fault if nobody feeds me?"

"I fed you an hour ago!" said Carly in mock annoyance, taking a break from her typing.

She had gotten used to her two friends hanging out at the apartment, whether she had work to do or not. She'd given up on keeping Sam out years ago, and with Freddie there at least the two of them could amuse themselves while she got stuff done. She just had to keep an eye out for any trouble between them…

"I don't know why we have her here, Carly," said Freddie, glaring at his nemesis.

Sam sat up and glared back, "What is that supposed to mean, lettuce-breath?"

Spencer let out a gasp and pretended to cover his sculpture's 'ears', "I think that's my cue to leave," he decided. "I gotta take 'Salad Fido' to the art show. Will you be OK for a couple of hours, Carly?"

"Always am!" she replied, smiling at her brother as she sat next to Sam, ready to prevent any escalating arguments, "Got your cell?"

"Got it!" Spencer waved as he left.

As soon as the door clicked shut, the fight started up again.

"…All you do is come here whenever you feel like it, eat Carly's food and irritate me!" Freddie said, folding his arms as though he'd managed to prove something important.

"Well, all you do is drool over Carly and act like a dork!" Sam retorted angrily.

"Children…" Carly warned before Freddie interrupted.

"At least I don't slack off at every opportunity!"

"Better than being a colossal geek at every opportunity!"

'Where's my spray bottle…' wondered Carly.

"Well what use are you? I mean, obviously Carly's the pretty and wonderful girl who has the great ideas…" he momentarily beamed at Carly before returning to his serious expression, "…and I'm the tech guy, but what are you? Carly's pet?"

Sam stared at him for a moment as the rage inside her began to bubble. She stood up slowly and Freddie's eyes widened before darting from side to side in an attempt to decide which way to run.

"Start runnin', Fredwart!" Sam growled.

However, before she had had the chance to chase him for more than a few seconds, Carly managed to catch her.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Hair! Hair! Hair!" she yelped as Carly dragged her to the couch and sat her back down. She attempted to get back up again, but Carly gave her a 'don't-you-dare' expression which made her stay put.

"…But the doof insulted me!" Sam protested.

Carly rolled her eyes, "Well that's one insult to your one thousand, isn't it?"

Sam mumbled sulkily, but reluctantly accepted Carly's point.

"Now, why don't you just watch some TV while I finish my report, hmm?"

Sam nodded, so Carly switched on some cartoons for her to watch before joining Freddie at the computer.

"You should know better than to wind her up, y'know," Carly said to him, keeping her voice low out of Sam's earshot.

"I know," Freddie sighed before whispering, "It's true, though."

"She's not a pet! She's just…irresponsible."

"So why are you friends with her?"

"Well somebody's gotta keep her out of trouble! Besides, she's a good friend," she said fondly.

Freddie snorted, "If you say so. So, have you almost finished your report?"

"Kind of. I still have half a page to do, though. It should be finished before the weekend. How 'bout you?"

"Yeah, finished it yesterday. My mom always makes me start my homework the day I get it." Carly chuckled and Freddie looked at her huffily, "Well at least I have the weekend free too! Maybe we could…y'know…do something together?" he suggested, strategically moving his stool closer to Carly's.

He almost fell off it completely when Carly replied, "Awesome idea!" But his hopes were dashed when she called, "Hey Sam, do you wanna do something this weekend?"

"Such as…?"

"I don't know, just hang out somewhere with me and Freddie. We could film a day out and put it on iCarly."

"Sounds cool. Well, despite the part where Freddie comes too."

Freddie narrowed his eyes at her.

Carly grinned, "Awesome! So, have you finished your report?"

"What report?"

"The one for Ms. Briggs, of course."

Sam's eyes remained glued to the cartoon and she didn't reply. Immediately suspicious, Carly hopped off her stool and went to stand right beside her, hands on hips, eyebrows raised. After a few moments, Sam looked up at her and smiled sweetly.

"Hi Carly!"

"Please tell me you've started your report."

"…I've started my report."

Sam went back to watching TV as Carly folded her arms and frowned. "What was the report on?"

Sam laughed at the cartoon before Carly grabbed the remote and promptly switched off the TV. "Hey! I was watching tha –"

"– What was the report on, Sam?" Carly interrogated.

Sam looked up at her and smiled nervously, "…Bacon?"

"YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED IT, HAVE YOU?!" Carly exploded at her to the point where Sam had to leap out of the way to avoid the wrath of Carly's rolled up magazine.

"Hey Carly…chillax!" Sam suggested worriedly when Carly managed to back her into a corner, magazine weapon in hand.

Freddie watched in amusement, munching some popcorn.

"I will not chillax!" Carly said, exasperated.

"Well it's not like it's your report…" she reasoned, before Carly finally lost it and thumped her hard with the magazine. "OW! Yeesh, that really – "

"– Do you realise what Ms. Briggs is going to do to you if you don't hand in that report on Monday?"

"Bake me a cake? YOWCH!" Carly whacked her over the head yet again.

"She is going to murder you, then expel you! Do you want that?"

"Well…if I was murdered first…then I suppose being expelled wouldn't be so bad!" she joked, before cowering as Carly threatened her with the magazine.

"This is serious, Sam!"

"Okay, okay…it's due Monday, right?"

"Right."

"And today is Thursday, right?"

"Sam, what are you –"

"– So that means that I have a whole day to do it before the weekend!" she said with a wide smile, as though all of her problems had been solved.

Carly just looked at her in disbelief, "Sam, it took me two weeks to do that report! I had to read the book, do the research, type it all up…there is absolutely no way that you are going to be able to do it in three days."

"One day," Sam corrected. "I know you like your work to be all perfect before you hand it in, but I'm aiming for a C at best."

"You should always aim for an A!" Freddie interjected.

Sam rolled her eyes, "And who told you that? Your mom?"

"…Shut up," Freddie replied bluntly.

"Ooh, nice one, Freddo. Did your mommy – "

"– Rolled up magazine…" Carly sang as a reminder.

Still cornered, Sam sighed in defeat, "I'll be quiet."

"There's a good girl," Carly patted her.

"Hey Spence, how was the art show?" Carly asked as she appeared out of the elevator.

"Terrible," he responded flatly from the couch.

"Aw, how come?"

He pointed over to the counter where his sculpture stood, but it looked weird and deformed.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I don't know. He was crispy when I left! Now he's all soggy…I guess it was the Seattle air."

"Aw, I'm sorry about your soggy terrier."

"It's alright. How was your day?"

"Well, I finished my paper."

"Awesome, way to go!"

"But Sam hasn't started hers."

"Ah."

"Yeah, so is it cool if she stays over tomorrow night so I can help her study?"

"I don't see why not," Spencer nodded. "I'll just be working on my next sculpture."

"Which is?"

"A marshmallow meerkat for that new ice-cream parlour's grand opening."

"I see Well, good luck with that!"

"Thanks and good luck with…whatever it is you were doing!" said Spencer enthusiastically.

Carly said goodnight and began to make her way upstairs, pondering creative ways she could prevent her wayward friend from being expelled.

'I'd rather try and sculpt a meerkat out of marshmallows…' she thought as she closed her bedroom door.