After everything he had seen, everything he had done… it was the quiet that truly scared him.
Jack had lived fifty years living moment by moment, never knowing when he would get killed or run into one of the thousands of enemies that had rose up before his sword. Letting go of that mindset, of that lifestyle, was like trying to fill a bucket full of holes with water.
It simply was not done.
He had thought that Ashi would be there, that together she could help him figure it all out again. Together they had overcome Aku, had overcome the travel of space and time itself… and yet here he was.
Alone once again.
Jack's thoughts were no longer filled with the past; they were now filled with the future. What had happened to everyone that had helped Jack in that final battle- had every single one of them ceased to exist? Was all of the deeds, all of the experiences Jack had gone through, only in his head now? Just... memories?
It couldn't be. Fifty years of work… worst of all, Jack could remember all of the time portals. Every single one. And yes, while many had been destroyed by Aku, there were plenty that Jack had had a chance at. The one the monks showed him. The fairy's wish. The blind archer's well. Countless others. All chances wasted because Jack had put his needs behind those that needed his help.
Had that- had that not mattered in the first place? Had his help not mattered in the slightest?
Jack honestly didn't want to know the answer to that question.
It was nice, at first. To see his parents, his mentors, his people once more. They honored him, praising his defeat of the great evil and his sacrifice. But Jack knew that while they said they understood, that they were there when he needed them, they didn't really understand at all. They didn't understand why he wouldn't respond when they called his given name once, twice, three times with no response. Why he would startle at the slightest sound, and constantly checked over his shoulder.
Fifty years of habits were hard to get rid of, after all.
It… hurt without Ashi. She had been someone that had become someone closer to Jack than he could ever imagine. He tried to enjoy life, and return to his people in mind and spirit, but the disconnect rubbed at him. He forgot how long it took to travel with no cars, no motorcycles. He had trouble adapting to life without being constantly on the move, as he had never settled in one place since the time he was a child of a mere eight years old.
He still suffered hallucinations as well. But instead of his family and people this time, they were instead those of the future to come. Friends asking why he hadn't just killed Aku and stayed in the future. Hadn't he been loved? Hadn't he been a hero there too? People had gone to fight for him- had gone to die for him. Was it really fair that Jack got to go back and live his own life when that one action sacrificed so many?
His hair was left untied, but he didn't let his beard grow again. It brought back bad memories. He started flinching whenever a horse rode by, uncertain as to when some of the skeletons in his closet would return. He waited for his reflection to leer at him, and startled when ripples in the water made his reflection move.
He had imagined life back in the past so often, but he had never imagined this.
He… he missed Aku. At least, in the beginning of it all, he had had a purpose. A point to it all. Look for portals, sleep, fight Aku, and repeat. It was so easy to focus on a simple task, and so hard to understand what he was supposed to do now. He father wanted him to inherit the emperor's title and protect his people, but Jack wasn't sure he could protect anyone anymore. Mentions of his triumph brought a sour taste to his mouth, and Jack had to hide it behind carefully chosen words and glances.
When his father passed away, he had been back for ten years. Even the best recovery from years under Aku's reign could only do so much. His mother followed shortly after, and Jack took over as his father had asked. He couldn't bring himself to marry, however, nightmares of a vanishing face flickering through his waking hours. When thirty years had passed, he gave the throne to a cousin and quietly stepped down.
He had not aged at all.
One by one, even those that Jack had been familiar enough with before Aku ruined everything passed away.
Only Jack was left. Alone.
He was still respected, but there was also fear there, too. Some said he had crossed into the territory of the gods and was no longer human. Others argued that Aku had changed him. Either way, Jack was lost to an exaggerated telling of his story. The ghost behind the legend, and suddenly people were almost too awestruck to approach him. Too awestruck… or too afraid.
For a time, Jack watched over his city. Then Japan. He became known as the guardian of the country of the rising sun, and watched as dynasties rose and fell as time changed.
It wasn't anything new, really. Once Jack stopped knowing anyone of his land, he left. Wandering made it less obvious of his unwanted immortality, because he never formed permanent connections. He helped those he came across and left. It was more familiar than his return to his family had been, but the thought did little to comfort him.
He could now clearly tell that the sound of hoof beats were not real. They couldn't be from a real horse, he was never in a place a horse should be, never was where he should be.
Where should he be?
He didn't know.
Humans built cities. Plagues hit, wars raged, and Jack watched it all. Technology boomed, the population soared, and the first contact with aliens was established. Thousands of years went by in both an instant and a millennium, and Jack was forced to watch it all.
He could see the ghostly horseman now on an almost daily basis, and reflections and hallucinations screamed at him through a beard. He knew, he knew he knew he knew that he must have done something wrong. This must have been preventable. But- how? What could he possibly have done, what could he possibly do!
A time portal would not solve anything. Nor would wasting his breath on it. His people had mainly died after long, peaceful lives and this time around his city had not fallen to disrepair. No, it thrived, new technology making it strange to see the old buildings interwoven with lights and technology. But Jack never stayed long enough for someone to recognize his face- the same face as the many statues around the area- or his sword, hooked at his waist as always.
His new mission was to find a solution to his aging complications. He wanted to be able to start a new life, somewhere, somehow, and he could never do this without the ability to grow old. He kept looking, kept searching even when ghosts and past selves screamed at him that he was wrong, wrong, wrong.
And then it started to all look familiar. Not familiar as in a place, but familiar as in a time. The technology, geography, groups of people and where they lived- it all began to match up. This time there was no Aku posters, no bounty hunter robots after him, but- but it was definitely the same place Jack had once been so many years ago.
So, one by one, Jack went and looked. The Scotsman argued with him for two months before accepting his claims, tagging along as they traveled the world. Some of the people Jack had once known were there. Others were not.
…Ashi was not.
There was no easy answer to it all, really. Life moved on, whether Jack wanted it to or not. He was afraid of the future, afraid of staying young while others close to him grew old and died for the third time around, but he had to keep hope.
That was something Ashi had once taught him, after all. And memories were important, as even as time tried to wipe away the last traces of his friends, Jack remembered them.
Jack spent time with the different people, different places he had once wandered through. He tried to enjoy life again, he really did, but sometimes it just hurt so much, and all he wanted to do was go to sleep and forget about it all.
…He didn't want to be alone anymore.
The Scotsman would yell at him in times like these, calling him a "hootin' wallowing sack of his dead grannies rotten potatoes" that needed to "get off his sorry ass and live a little before he caught a spear in his throat and spent a fine time regrettin' that." He helped Jack pick himself up and keep going, even sword fighting a certain ghostly rider on more than one occasion while hurling insults at it the entire while.
And he stayed. Whatever his strange Celtic magic, he stubbornly insisted on remaining by Jack's side as he kept journeying throughout the world. Even as a ghost he possessed quite the presence, and Jack was glad of the company even if the thought that he was dead was like a slap in Jack's face.
So time passed. Hundreds of places, thousands of people, millions of moments pass, and yet the ache never quite seemed to fade. Jack wondered if he would be there to one day see the world end, to be forced to move to an alien planet and lose the last sense of home he had.
He wondered if there was really no hope to save him, and that he would grow more and more apathetic to life until one day he did finally end it all, just like his subconsciousness wanted. He almost did, because each day he felt like he was drowning bit by bit.
That was, until he found another time portal.
The Scotsman urged him not to pay heed to it. Not to take the jump, not to leave everyone behind to be erased once again. To make the future a blank slate and start over once again. But behind the hammering of his heart, pounding in his ears, Jack sighed. He was tired. He was wary. And maybe… maybe there HAD been something he missed, something left to stop it all. What if Aku had known a cure for immortality? What if there was a way to save Ashi?
And so he closed his eyes, and he jumped.
To the beginning once again.