Worst years of my life (It gets better)
Lawrence, Kansas- May 2006
Cas sat in the lunchroom at a table by himself. It didn't bother him that he had no friends. He got used to that when he moved here freshman year but he knew bigger and better things were just around the corner. He was reading his favorite book 'The Great Gatsby' when a group of jocks sauntered over to him.
One of them slapped the book out of his hand and laughed cruelly in his ear. He knew that laugh. It was Alistair. His high school tormentor. He had put up with four years of him but there was only one month of senior year left. He could make it. He knew he could.
The bigger jock, Raphael, pushed his head onto the table causing his glasses to go flying. "Leave me alone!," he shouted over their laughs.
He knew it would only make it worse but he had to at least try. They laughed harder together.
"Come on, man. Leave him alone," he recognized Dean Winchester's voice say over the laughter.
"Senior years almost over, man! We gotta have a little fun with this loser before he runs away to college," Alistair laughed.
Cas clenched his jaw and forced himself to not let them see him cry. Not again.
He heard movement next to him before he realized that Alistair was now going through his backpack.
He lifted his head quickly. "No!," he cried out before his head was pushed back down roughly by Raphael.
Alistair continued laughing but stopped as he read something. Cas felt his heart thumping heavily in his chest. He knew exactly what he was reading.
He heard the table creak as extra weight climbed on top of it. "Make him watch this!," Alistair snickered quietly to Raphael.
Raphael grabbed Cas's head in his arms and raised him up so he was forced to watch what Alistair was about to do next.
He closed his eyes as Alistair's voice boomed across the cafeteria. "Listen up everyone!," he called getting the immediate attention of everyone in the room.
Cas watched from the corner of his eye when everyone stopped talking and turned to face Alistair. He moved his eyes to look at Alistair who was standing in the center of the table with Cas's yearbook open in his hands.
He felt his palms start to sweat and his eyes go wide. He chanced a glimpse of Dean who was standing next to his little brother, Sam, with his hands shoved deeply inside his letter men jacket.
He looked back at Alistair and quietly pleaded with him to not continue but was ignored. "This is Castiel Novak!," he announced while pointing at Cas who was now wiggling in Raphael's strong grip.
He felt all eyes on him while Alistair went on. "You may or may not know him. He's a loser."
Everyone began laughing and Cas closed his eyes continuing to will himself not to cry in front of the whole school.
"And this is his love letter to Dean Winchester," he announced with glee pouring through his loud voice.
There were a few more chuckles throughout the room but mostly silence as they waited for Alistair to mortifying him publicly.
"Dear, Dean. By the time you read this high school will be over and I will have moved to California but I can't leave until I tell you how I feel," Alistair said in a high pitched voice to mock Cas.
Cas peeked his eye open and saw Dean looking straight at him with a look of pity on his face. He closed his eyes again and focused only on not letting himself cry.
"I have loved you since you first talked to me in the library freshman year. I know it sounds dumb but I felt like we had a special connection between us. It felt like sparks every time our hands would accidentally brush against each other. You have saved me in more ways than one from the Hell I'm put through everyday and I can't thank you enough," Alistair continued to mock.
The cafeteria started laughing again when he paused. Cas felt like he had just been kicked repeatedly in the stomach.
Alistair cleared his throat and continued, "I love you, Dean Winchester. Please consider moving to California with me. We can escape it all. You and me. Love, Castiel Novak."
Alistair slammed the book shut and laughed harder. The entire cafeteria erupted into laughs along with his classmates yelling various words at him.
Alistair dropped the book onto the table and jumped off landing right in front of Cas.
"You don't belong here, Novak. And Winchester is not gay! So why don't you take your faggot ass somewhere else," Alistair said loudly while shoving a finger into Cas's chest.
Cas opened his eyes finally and looked to Dean who was looking away from him. He turned back to Alistair and let a stray tear slip down his cheek.
"Aw, he's crying! We made the little homo cry!," he announced.
His classmates laughed again and started throwing food at him. He let another tear fall.
"Let him go," Dean said quietly.
Alistair rolled his eyes but nodded to Raphael who reluctantly let Cas go. Cas wiped his face and reached for his backpack before quickly throwing it over his back.
"I better not see you again," Alistair said darkly.
Cas wiped his eyes again before running out of the cafeteria with his yearbook still laying forgotten on the cafeteria table.
He pushed the double doors to the schools entrance open and ran to where his bike was chained up. He didn't care that he still had mashed potatoes in his hair and he didn't care that the whole school knew his secret.
He was never coming back. Never again. Screw Dean Winchester and screw everybody. He was going to make it California. He'd show them all.
He peddled quickly down the road and tried to force away the image of sad, green eyes pitying him.
Los Angeles, California- May 2016
"Everyone welcome to the stage New York Times Bestseller, Castiel Novak," Kelly Ripa announced as she stood up.
Cas adjusted his tie and let out a nervous breath as he walked onto the stage. The audience cheered loudly while he waved back at them and smiled widely.
He got up to Kelly and shook her hand briefly before pulling her into a quick hug.
She smiled and gestured to the tall chair across from her. Cas obliged and sat down before crossing his legs comfortably.
"Thank you for having me. Its great to be here," he smiled while rubbing the stubble on his chin.
Kelly smiled, "Of course. Its an honor to have you. Why don't you tell us about your book?"
Cas nodded, "Well, it's a self help book. Is titled 'It gets better' and I'm very proud of the world wide reception that it's received. It really means a lot to me and all the hard work I put into it."
Kelly nodded along as he spoke. "And are all those stories told in the book true?"
Cas paused as his mind flashed quickly to multiple scenes of Alistair and the jocks bullying and harassing him ruthlessly. He collected himself quickly and cleared his throat.
"Yes. Everything told really happened," he confirmed.
The audience let out a collective 'Aw' as Cas retold a few traumatic stories from his time in high school.
"No need to feel sorry for me. I only came out stronger from my experiences," he smiled.
"It gets better," Kelly commented.
Cas laughed and nodded, "Yes, it does. And I couldn't be more happy by how many lives this seems to be touching."
"Its extraordinary. But that is all the time we have left for today. Thank you again for coming. Castiel Novak everyone!," Kelly announced and stood up before hugging Cas tightly again and running a comforting hand down his back.
Cas smiled warmly and kissed her cheek before exiting the stage. He let out the breath he was holding in when he reached the refreshment table where his manager, Balthazar, stood while eating a banana.
He put it down on the table and slapped Cas lovingly on the back. "You did great, Cassie," he commented.
Cas nodded and smiled weakly. Sometimes he just felt sick after talking about his high school experiences. He thought making it in the world would make him feel better but he couldn't help but think that something was missing.
"Is everything okay?," Balthazar asked.
Cas nodded and shrugged him off. "Everything's fine."
Balthazar smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Great. Cause we need to go catch a plane."
Cas furrowed his brow. "I thought the book tour wasn't for another two months."
"Its not but some mayor called and wants to present you with a city award at a big ceremony. It would be great exposure," he explained.
"Okay. What town?," Cas asked curious now.
"Lawrence, Kansas. Sounds like a hick town so we should just stop in and leave."
Cas dropped the copy of his book that he had been clutching to his chest. There's no way he had heard that right.
"Cassie? Castiel? Are you okay?," Balthazar asked again.
Cas nodded slowly. "I guess I'm going back to Kansas."
Lawrence, Kansas- May 2016
"I cant do this, Balthazar," Cas choked out as he fidgeted in the back seat of the taxi.
Balthazar placed a comforting hand on his knee. "Of course you can. Its only for a few days."
Cas shook his head. "You don't understand. This is the town that my entire book is based on. Everything happened here."
Balthazar looked unaffected with what Cas said. "Is that why someone keeps calling telling me they're your brothers and that we're staying with them?"
Cas's eyes went wide. "What?! That where were going? Why didn't you tell me?"
Balthazar shrugged and went back to replying to emails.
Cas looked out the window and watched as the familiar streets passed by. He noticed the fountain where Alistair stole his bike sophomore year.
He shook his head and felt his anxiety start to rise up in his chest when the taxi pulled into his old neighborhood. He saw Gabriel and Lucifer standing outside the house with excitement clear on their faces.
He sighed and stepped out of the taxi while Gabriel ran to him and picked him up to swing him around.
"Gabriel," he greeted once he put him down.
"Stop with the formalities, bro. We just watched you on T.V. with that hot Kelly Ripa!"
Cas rolled his eyes and walked up sidewalk that led to the front door. He stopped halfway when Lucifer wrapped him up in his own hug.
"Wait. Do you guys both live here?," Cas questioned.
Lucifer laughed. "Yeah. We took over it when mom died. Its now our bachelor pad."
"Mom must be so proud," Cas muttered.
"Hey! I heard that but I'll forgive you. We are going to have so much fun this weekend," Gabe said while wrapping an arm around his shoulder.
Cas zoned out of the conversation of Gabe and Lucifer making plans excitedly. He looked over to the familiar two story home on the left side of him and felt his heart skip a beat.
And because the universe hated himself so much lately, a familiar figure walked out of the front door.
He wasn't sure if he even had a pulse anymore. This had to be some kind of sick dream.
The man with the Sandy brown hair, beautiful green eyes and freckle kissed skin looked up and made eye contact with him. He froze in his spot and dropped his mouth slightly.
Cas tore his eyes away from him and looked at his shoes instead. Why was God trying to torture him? He could hear his heart pumping in his ears now.
"Cas?," came that familiar voice but it was close to him now.
He looked up at Dean who had wandered into their yard with wonderment written all over his face. He visibly swallowed.
"Its me, Dean Winchester."