AN: This will make no sense unless you read Chapter 13: Home of With Great Love (story ID:12076363). And while I invite you to read all of the Elementary Falls AU, if you want to dive straight into Home, then all you really need to know is that the Elementary Falls AU is one where Dipper and Mabel are orphaned and Stan adopts then when they're five years old, and then they save Ford from the portal when Dipper and Mabel are eight, and now they live as one big happy family in the Mystery Shack.
Basically, I made a spin-off AU of one of my own AUs. We are deep down the rabbit hole now, you guys.
For all the different ways Stan had imagined his reunion with his brother going, and there were a lot of different ways, somehow none of them had featured a twelve year old boy throwing up all over the place. He'd considered the possibility of Ford throwing up, having caught some weird sci-fi disease on the other side of the portal, or Stan himself throwing up when something tough and dangerous came through and literally beat it out of him, or even the portal opening and unleashing some kind of puke/puking monster out on the world. But with all of that, it had never occurred to him that Dipper would be the one puking his guts out. Failure of imagination on his part, he guessed.
"Dipper!" Stan cried, rushing to check on him while worries were running through his mind about all the things that could have happened to Dipper in the last 24 hours that could have caused the kid to get sick, all of which would be Stan's fault. His cry was echoed by Ford – and how in the heck did Ford know Dipper's name anyway? – and an exclamation of "Little dude!" from Soos.
"It's okay," Mabel said, rubbing her brother's back. "The Dip-Master just got a little too excited is all. Isn't that right, Dipper?"
Dipper nodded and gave a thumbs up. "I'm fine. Just gotta ride it out."
Stan let out a sigh of relief. "I'll go get you a glass of water."
"Grunkle Stan, you're not going to go upstairs, are you?" Mabel asked. "There's –"
"Relax kid," Stan said, interrupting. He knew they were going to have to deal with the government agents eventually, but Ford was bound to get upset when he found out, and Stan wanted to make sure Dipper was taken care of first. "There's a bathroom right on the other side of the lab. I'll be back in a minute."
Dipper shot him a grateful look and then turned back to his sister. Stan could hear him as he walked away, Dipper's voice going up to that high tone only dogs could hear as he got excited. "Mabel, did the Author of the Journals just come out of that portal and say that he was lucky to get to meet me?"
"I'm pretty sure he did, bro-bro. Grunkle Ford, you are the one who wrote the Journals, right?"
Stan shut the bathroom door. It was a little stupid; it's not like he needed privacy to get a glass of water from the sink – luckily it seemed like the plumbing was still working. But he did need a minute to think.
This wasn't at all going how he expected it to, even not counting Dipper throwing up. Like he'd imagined it to, in at least a couple of different scenarios, and liked he hoped it would, more or less, but not like he'd actually expected it to. Because when had things ever gone like he hoped they would?
And yet not five minutes ago Stan had, after all these years, gotten the portal working again, and he had finally managed to save brother. And Ford had hugged him, actually hugged him, and thanked Stan. Technically Ford hadn't thanked Stan for saving him, if anything he seemed kind of pissed about that part of it, but for needing him. Which was a weird thing to say, but Stan got it. It was about caring about someone, always having their back, and being willing to do whatever it takes for them, because they were the most important thing to you. And if Ford finally understood that too, then that was better than being thanked for saving him anyway. It was everything that Stan had ever wanted for when he got his brother back, so he should be happy. And he was happy, ridiculously happy. He may have even cried a little, but that was a secret he was taking to his grave. And so would Ford, if he knew what was good for him.
So how stupid was it that Stan had finally accomplished the one thing he'd been working toward for thirty years and had everything go almost exactly like he hoped it would, and he was feeling off-balance because it wasn't going worse. Pretty darn stupid. "You are one messed up individual, Stanley Pines," he told his reflection in the mirror.
Heh, Stanley Pines. Now that Ford was back, Stan could start going by his own name for the first time since Ford fell through that portal. Heck, if he could get the whole "legally dead" thing taken care of, then he could go back to being Stanley Pines full time for the first time since he left New Jersey. That was something at least.
Stan left the restroom and headed back to the main area of the lab. Ford was now sitting on the floor in front of Dipper, both of them having moved a bit away from the puke puddle – which, was that bigger than it was when he left? Ford's hands were lightly gripping both of Dipper's arms with Mabel draped on Ford's shoulder watching her brother intently while Soos overlooked the whole thing from the other side. "Now breathe in. Hold it. Out," Ford was saying. "There, is that better?"
"Yeah," Dipper said.
"Do you need to sit down?" Ford asked.
"That's probably a good idea," Dipper admitted, falling back down on the ground. Stan walked over, giving the puke a wide berth, and handed the kid the glass of water. Dipper took a sip, swished the water around in his mouth a bit, and then spat it out in the general direction of the vomit. Then he downed the rest of the water in a few quick gulps.
"Thanks," said Dipper, shooting Stan a slightly abashed and grateful smile, which Stan assumed meant that Ford's brief explanation a minute ago was enough for Dipper to decide that all was more or less forgiven. Probably helped that it was the Author of the Journals who explained it. Dipper sure hadn't thrown up out of sheer excitement at the thought of getting to spend time with Stan ever.
Stan pushed that thought down. The kids liked Ford and Ford liked the kids and they were all one big happy family. That was a good thing.
"Hey Grunkle Ford, how come you're so good at this?" Mabel asked.
"I've had more than my fair share of problems with anxiety in the past, and excitement is really just anxiety's happier cousin. I'm just glad I was here to help Dipper; this sort of thing is no fun to work through on your own." Stan felt twin pangs of guilt and anger. Guilt, because he used to be the one to help Ford on the occasions he needed someone to ground him, and he should have been there to help him every time. And anger, because it was Ford's own fault that Stan hadn't been there, and if Ford had ever given the slightest hint he wanted Stan around, Stan would have showed up in a heartbeat. Stan had proved that much, hadn't he? "Though I suppose if I weren't here he'd still have all of you, and I guess he wouldn't even be having this problem in the first place."
"I have another question," Mabel said. "How did you know Dipper's name? None of us told you it."
"Hey yeah, and you used my name when I handed you your journal back," Soos added.
"I wanna to know how you knew that too, Stanford." Stan demanded.
"Your parents named you both Stanford?" Mabel asked. "Pffff, that's silly." Oh right, Stan hadn't told the kids about the whole stealing his brother's identity thing yet. Well, Stan guessed he had wanted his brother to freak out. Careful what you wish for, and all that junk.
But Ford didn't freak out. He took a deep breath in and let it out, then explained, very calmly, "No, just my name is Stanford, that's why I go by Ford. Stan's full name is Stanley. If he's been going by Stanford, then it's likely so he could stay here in this house while he was trying to fix the portal."
Ford didn't freak out, but Stan sure did. "What the heck is going on? I ignore all the warnings you left and restart the portal anyway, then you come through and hug me and thank me and you know all the kid's names and you don't even seem to care that I stole your identity and I keep waiting for you to sock me one for pushing you through the portal in the first place!"
Dead. Silence.
Followed by a muffled thump through the ceiling, like something being knock over way up in the main part of the house. "Oh yeah, we should probably do something about those government dudes raiding the shack, huh?" Soos said.
"Government…? Stanley what did you do?" Ford demanded, racing to look at the security feeds.
"What, so it's my fault the crazy portal you built runs on nuclear waste? Sneaking into a government waste dump and stealing the stuff isn't exactly helpful to flying under the radar!"
"Yes, but if you had just listened to my warnings…" Ford sighed and placed a hand to his forehead. "Okay, it's alright. We've got awhile before they find this room. We just need to lay low and think of a plan."
"Well, looks like we're stuck down here for a while," Mabel said. "Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory and explain what they meant about pushing their twin brother through the spooky portal to another dimension?"
"It was an accident, right Mr. Pines?" Soos asked.
"Of course it was an accident," Stan said, the anger gone from him now. He had too many emotions swirling inside him – anger, guilt, joy, confusion – he was having a hard time holding on to one for very long. "I would never do something to hurt my brother like that on purpose."
"It really was an accident, wasn't it?" Ford said, sounding amazed and sheepish at the same time.
"What're you talking about Sixer? You were there; you should know." The way Stan had panicked when the portal's weird gravity field had grabbed Ford really should have been the first clue.
"I don't mean that," Ford said, shaking his head. "I meant the science fair project. He told me that it was an accident, but I could never quite believed him for some reason."
"Who's he?" Stan asked.
"He is me," Ford said, which made no sense unless he'd gone crazy on the other side of the portal and developed a split personality. "Or rather, a version of me from an alternate dimension." Or that might explain it. "That's how I knew all of your names; I've spent the past week in a dimension very similar to this one, and I met all your counterparts there."
"Wait a second, you mean while I've been working my butt off trying to save you, you've been living it up with some parallel version of your family?" Part of Stan was glad to know that his brother hadn't been suffering the kind of unimaginable horrors that Stan had been having nightmares about for years, but at the same time it hurt to know that Ford had been off enjoying himself while Stan dedicated his life to bringing Ford back, working down in this dank basement all alone.
"Like I said, that was just for this past week," Ford assured him. "And I had been planning on leaving in the morning even if you hadn't opened this portal for me. I've been to hundreds, possibly thousands, of different dimensions in the past thirty years, some of them nice, and others" – Ford cast a quick glance at the kids – "let's just say a lot of them weren't so nice. But the one place I never even really let myself dare to hope I'd find was home again."
It was like being on a freaking roller coaster. Back up again now, because Ford was home and no matter how angry he claimed he was at Stan for making it happen, he was still glad to be here, and Stan was the one who had done that for his brother. Ford was even smiling at him now, so what else was Stan going to do but grin back?
There was a loud smacking sound and both Stan and Ford turned to see Mabel with her hand planted firmly over her brother's mouth. "Don't mind us; you two just keep having your shining sibling moment of twin bonding."
Yeah, there was no way that was going to happen. Not now that Stan remembered that there were other people here watching them.
Dipper pried his sister's hand off his face. "But I want to hear what happened to cause Grunkle Ford to accidentally get pushed into the portal. And about that science fair thing Grunkle Ford mentioned."
"Yeah, I don't have anything about a science fair in my fanfic. Of course, I also don't have a mysterious long lost twin either. It's possible I'm going to have to do some major revisions," Soos added.
"Alright, you guys want to hear the story?" It would be weird telling it, after Stan had spent so long trying to keep everything a secret from everyone, but it might be good too. The truth will set you free and all that junk. "It all started a lifetime ago: 1960-something, Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey."
It was a long story, but maybe not as long as it seemed now, because Stan got through it reasonably quickly, maybe twenty minutes or so, even with Ford jumping in to tell his part of it. And it did feel good to tell it, but not because the truth was setting him free. Truth was overrated anyway, as far as Stan was concerned and he'd lie to anyone any day of the week and never feel bad about it. Unless it was to his family; Stan had hated lying to those two little kids, but now he didn't have to, not any more.
Just as Stan was wrapping up with how he'd become Mr. Mystery, they heard an agent calling from upstairs that he'd heard voices from down below. Thing moved pretty quickly after that, with Dipper pulling a memory-erasing gun out of his backpack – seriously, where did that kid find these things? – which Ford looked at like it was some kind of scourge of the Earth he'd rather die than touch. But he took it and did something with it so it erased all the agents' memories at once, and then put on an act that wasn't the least impressive thing Stan had ever seen, and somehow got all the cops to run off with their tails between their legs. Who knew government agents were as gullible as the Gravity Falls locals?
After that Dipper practically pounced on Ford wanting to ask him questions, but it had been a long day and Stan didn't think he could deal with all that pre-teen nerd excitement right now. So he sent the two kids off to bed – honestly, they probably needed to go to sleep early anyway after the day they'd had. Soos saw himself off, yelling excitedly into his phone at Wendy as he went.
And then it was just Stan and Ford standing out on the porch alone, which felt much more awkward than it should have. They were brothers after all. They had been best friends for the first seventeen years of their lives. And then estranged for the next forty plus after that. So maybe it made sense that things would be a little awkward.
"Stanley, I have to ask. Dipper and Mabel's parent's…" Ford trailed off, but Stan thought he knew what he was getting at.
"Yeah, they think I'm you too; probably one of the main reasons they actually thought it might be a good idea to let me watch the kids for the summer. I'm not sure how I'm gonna tell them the truth without them deciding to never let those two come up here again, but I'll figure something out," Stan said.
"So they are still alive, then?" Ford asked.
That was a weird question. It's not like they were that old or anything "Yeah, they're alive."
"Good. That's good," Ford said, but he sure didn't look like he was doing good.
"You okay there, Ford?" asked Stan.
"I'm fine. I just… I'm going to miss those kids when they go back home. That's all."
"I know what you mean. Those two little gremlins have a way of getting under your skin." Stan tried to smile, but it came out small and uncertain. "But hey, at least I'll still be here."
Ford smiled back, and it looked only a little surer of himself than Stan's felt. "Yeah, you will be."
That felt a moment for another hug to Stan, the second one in less than an hour or two. The two of them hadn't exactly been huge huggers before – though to be fair, they had also been teenage boys before – but forty years was a lot of physical affection to make up for. But just because Stan felt like it was a moment for a hug, didn't mean Ford felt the same way. He didn't want to push too hard.
Then Ford hugged him. "I still am angry at you, you know," Ford said, which was kind of mixed messages, given he was still hugging Stan when he said it. "We have a lot we need to talk out."
"I know," Stan said. He was still angry at Ford for some stuff too, even if he couldn't really feel it right now, what with him being overwhelmed by the fact that his brother was here and safe and they were going to be a family again. He gave Ford on last tight squeeze, and then let go. "But tomorrow. Today was a good day. I mean, I got arrested, more so than usual, and wrecked the house and the rest of the town, and nearly destroyed the kids' trust in me, but other than that, it was a good day. Let's leave the rest of that junk for tomorrow."
"Tomorrow, then," Ford agreed. "You know, if it makes you feel any better, I did come about this close to punching you when I first came through the portal."
Stan threw his head back and laughed, a free and weirdly happy sound. He gave Ford's shoulder a friendly bump with his own. "Honestly, it kind of does."