Nice vs. Naughty
Chapter 1; The competition unfolds.
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Author's Notes: This fanfic is dedicated to Shenlong7 whose excellent story (See Downward Spiral; an angst, dark story but with loving twists that is easy to sink your teeth into.) has inspired me to get my act moving and put this creation up onto the net! Hope it pleases people!
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Kakashi and Iruka had always been the closest of friends for as long as either could remember. Unfortunately they were also considered the 'oddest' of friends; or so everyone liked to point out.
"What do you see in that bookworm friend of yours, Kakashi? I mean, what do you guys talk about; students?!" Anko had asked Kakashi one morning while attempting to flirt with him, but only receiving a blank stare in return. People eventually learnt not to ask this question; no answer ever came no matter how long the asker waited, breath held in anticipation.
Of course, Iruka was similarly questioned;
"Why does that scary man hang around with you, Iruka-sensei?" Students would innocently ask their teacher.
"Because he is my friend, and besides, he is not scary! Now back to work!" Iruka would reply, and the students would hurry back to their writing or mathematics, as secretly, no matter what they might say, they all had a soft spot for Iruka. But hey, who doesn't? After all, Iruka was cheerful, bubbly, great listener and advice giver…actually; Iruka was everything that Kakashi wasn't. Perhaps this was why they had become such steadfast friends; each was able to offer what the other lacking. In fact, they were such close friends that some people even mistook them for a couple; a mistake that Kakashi was quick to eliminate and Iruka ignored. However, all in all, it didn't really matter why the two were buddies, they just were. And no one would ever change that. Ever.
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"So how is Team Seven going?" Iruka asked one crispy Autumn morning, as he and Kakashi sat in his office sipping coffee before his class started. Kakashi sighed; as long as could remember Iruka would always ask this question and he knew, that if truth be told, Iruka was only really interested in hearing about Naruto's progress. But even though, Iruka had no emotional attachment towards Sakura or Sasuke; Kakashi was quick to dish out the dirt on them too. Kakashi, surprisingly enough, liked a bit of a gossip every now and then.
"The usual, the usual." Kakashi replied then took a few sips of his steaming coffee. Iruka had put a bit of orange and lemon sprinkles in it which had given it a surprisingly good zesty kick to it.
"Sakura is still trailing after Sasuke. Sasuke still doesn't give a damn. Naruto is as hyper as always." Kakashi despondently recited while trailing his finger around the rim of his coffee cup.
"Ssh! Don't swear in here Kakashi! What if one of the kids heard you?!" Iruka scolded but Kakashi could see that he was pleased to hear that Naruto was ok.
"You know, if you love the kid so much why don't you just adopt him? Or at least take him off of my hands!" Kakashi half joked. Iruka merely chuckled.
"Adopt Naruto? I love the kid, don't get me wrong. But having him around constantly I think would kill even me off. I really don't know how you handle the boy, Kakashi. He's so full of life" Iruka took the two now empty mugs of coffee and went to swill them in the office sink under the cold tap. He could never be bothered to wash them so just took to swilling them. Of course, this meant that they now had a permanent coffee stain in the bottom of them but neither of the sensei seemed to care much.
"You know, it's been rather quiet lately in Konoha." Kakashi changed topic. He had moved to the window and was staring sadly out of it on to the playground. Outside, red and golden leaves were fluttering as they fall from the now almost bare trees. Little children; Iruka's students, were trying to aim for them and hit them with kunais as they twirled to the ground. More often than not they missed.
"Hm?" Iruka was still busy with the mugs; now drying them with a rather worn out blue dish cloth. "Oh, that is because the war is over. All the villages are at peace for the moment and so there aren't many missions available. If there is no harm of being attacked, no one is going to want escorting from place to place are they? Or no one is going to need saving from bandits or what not. And-" Iruka began but Kakashi held up a hand, turning to Iruka with a smile.
"I have a plan, Iruka. Something to liven up this boring village." Kakashi began, his thoughts whizzing through his mind like an out of control firework.
"What? Were you not listening to a word I was saying, Kakashi?" Iruka mocked being hurt, imitating that someone had stabbed his heart with a kunai as he pretended to fall over. Kakashi was not amused.
"Stop messing around Iruka! I'm serious! And no, I wasn't listening, you know I don't like hearing those history lectures of yours, you should save it for the children." Kakashi slumped back down in the office chair, playing with one of Iruka's pencils between his hands, deep in thought. Iruka sat beside him on a similar chair and waited to hear; half excited, half worried, for this great plan that Kakashi had come up with.
Kakashi suddenly looked up, fixing his one eye (the other being covered behind his mask.) on Iruka. He smiled that all too familiar smile that made Iruka's stomach churn in nerves; he knew that whatever Kakashi would say next he would not like. He was right…
"We should have a competition, just me and you. You never seem to be doing much anyways." Kakashi began and Iruka inwardly sighed. He was never doing anything? What did Kakashi think teaching ten hours a day was? A hobby?
"That teaching job of yours is only a hobby anyway." Kakashi voiced Iruka's thoughts. He didn't mean to be mean; Kakashi was just blaringly blunt.
"What type of competition?" Iruka hesitatingly asked. Kakashi waved his hand at Iruka irritability.
"Don't interrupt me; I was just getting to that! Ah yeah, a competition! It's time my friend," Here Kakashi stopped to amiably tap Iruka on the shoulder. However being the stronger ninja this bruised Iruka slightly.
"Ow-Kakashi-" Iruka complained, rubbing his shoulder where Kakashi had 'hit' him.
"It's time we got you onto the dating scene!" Kakashi ignored Iruka's shocked face and continued. "I know me and you have very different...uh, how to say this; 'pick-up techniques', and it's time we put them to the test! You know- my naughtiness versus your niceness" Kakashi finished, gleaming triumphantly at Iruka. Iruka was too shocked for words; he was thinking that perhaps Kakashi had spent too much time with that- frighteningly so- hyper rival of his; Gai and had gone a bit cuckoo in the head. Unfortunately for him, Kakashi took his silence to be an affirmative answer.
"Well, that's settled then! We have a week- that's more than long enough. We'll go out different places each night so you can't blame the place when I win. And there will be a point system." Kakashi started planning the competition, happy that he had come up with something so daringly exciting.
"Wait; Kakashi! I don't think this is a good idea – wait, what do you mean when 'I win'?! Who says that you will win?! I have just a good chance!" Iruka was all psyched up to win the competition now; he had played right into Kakashi's hands who being a rather spectacular ninja; had noticed that Iruka didn't seem more than thrilled to join in with his new idea.
"The point system will be as follows!" Kakashi tore a single piece of paper out of Iruka's blank notepad and started writing on it with the pencil he had been fiddling with. "1 point if they allow body contact. 2 if you get them to hug you. 3 if you get a kiss; and I mean a proper full on one not a peck, Iruka! 4 if you bring them home and 5 if you aheh 'score'." Kakashi copied the point list onto another piece of paper and then handed one to Iruka. He tucked the other into his jacket pocket. "And no lying either, Iruka! Ok?" Kakashi finished, patting his pocket that now held the piece of paper.
Iruka stared blankly at his paper for a while. He wondered what 'score' meant but was scared to ask.
"Uh, Kakashi? What does, um, score mean?" Iruka timidly got up the courage to ask and Kakashi laughed, slapping him around the back again causing poor Iruka to gulp as wind went down the wrong way.
"Come on Iruka! You aren't that innocent surely?! You know…score...to get with...to lay.." Kakashi said, and when Iruka still looked blank he leant in close, whispering into his ear ",to fuck! Iruka! To fuck!", causing Iruka to jump slightly.
"Uh." Was all that Iruka managed. Kakashi expected him to sleep with someone?! He had only done that once; and he had been very drunk that night. He wasn't even sure if he was that good; the girl had never come back to tell him. Iruka looked up; Kakashi was stood with his hand out, an eyebrow raised.
"You on?" Kakashi asked.
"On." Iruka shook Kakashi's hand, not really sure what he had let himself in for but not wanting to back down now. He was getting fed up of Kakashi and the other senseis calling him a pansy; he couldn't help it if he wasn't a ladies man...but it was time to prove them all wrong! Still, as Kakashi left grinning, and Iruka beckoned his students back in to his classroom; Iruka felt a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.
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Author's Notes:
Who will win once the week is out; Kakashi or Iruka? Vote and review! Thanks for reading!