Last Chance
Disclaimer: I don't own New Tricks or any of the characters. Shame.
Rating: T
Pairing: Light Sandland.
Spoilers for episode 8. 'The one that got away.' This carries on immediately after the episode ended.
"Come on. She's gonna meet us there." Gerry Standing ushered the other three men towards the stairs, trying to keep his voice cheerful. Inside his heart was breaking, his best friend was leaving, going off to chase bad guys all over the world, but he'd be damned if he was going to make this any harder on her. Christ, he'd already done the stroppy toddler act, she didn't need any more guilt. They reached the top of the stairs, Danny and Steve chatted as they walked towards the door, Gerry noticed Strickland hanging back, waiting for him.
"You alright Guv?" He asked the younger man. Strickland nodded, but he had a faraway look in his eyes. He seemed to struggle to find his voice.
"Ummm. Maybe I should follow you all later. Sandra will want to be with her team. I don't want to be in the way."
"She'll want you there too, you've been a part of UCOS nearly as long as us."
"I'm not one of the 'team' though, am I. I know what you all think of me, especially since Brian...Well...Since I had to let him go."
"Look, we all know you had no choice, Brian knew what he was doing, but you know what he's like, he gets something into his head and there's no stopping him. Anyway, we're still in touch, it's not like he's gone for good."
They walked side by side, just behind the others. Strickland sighed.
"I tried to call him the other day. I had some expenses for him, the last ones he submitted. I left several messages, but I never got any response. In the end, I just posted them to him. I liked Brian, I'm sorry it ended on such a sour note."
"Hey, I shouldn't think he's avoiding you, and I know Esther wouldn't. I bet they havn't got your messages yet."
"You're probaby right." He smiled, but Gerry could see the smile wasn't genuine, it was hiding something else. "This has all come as a bit of a shock hasn't it."
"Yeah, it 'as a bit. Still, all good things and all that. I suppose you'll
be interviewing then." Robert nodded.
"UCOS has to have at least one serving officer."
"Do us a favour then. Female, blonde and leggy. I don't think I could get used to working for a bloke anymore, except you of course, Sir." Gerry gave his boss a cheeky grin. The other man smiled back.
"I'll see what I can do. No promises though."
"Fair enough. Come on, for a change, I'll buy you a pint."
/
"To Sandra, the best boss a plonker like me could ever hope to have. May your sunrises be varied and far apart." Gerry raised his glass. Sandra blushed.
"To Sandra!" The others all chorused.
"I'll get another round in." Strickland offered.
"One more then I should be heading home." Danny smiled.
"Och, lightweight!" Steve teased, making them all laugh. Robert gathered the empties and headed for the bar, putting in the order for their drinks. As he stood at the bar, he felt someone stand next to him. He turned and found Steve leaning against the bar.
"I thought I'd give you a hand." They stood in silence for a moment, Steve cleared his throat nervously. "Sir, can I ask you a question?" He looked the taller man in the eye. Robert nodded.
"Are you going to tell her?
"Pardon?" Robert didn't understand what the scot was asking.
"Are you going to tell her, or are you going to let her go off with Max, oblivious to how you feel about her." He picked up his drink, Danny's and Sandra's wine. "Don't leave it too long. This could be your last chance." He took the drinks and left Robert standing at the bar in shock. Robert leaned on the bar, deep in thought. He didn't hear Gerry coming to stand beside him.
"This Max. He's a friend of yours?" Gerry asked. Robert nodded. "So, can we trust him? Or is he going to be trying to get to know our Sandra, if you know what I mean." Robert smiled softly.
"You don't have to worry about Max, he's gay."
"Oh. Good! I mean..." Strickland smiled, he realised Gerry was a little bit tipsy. "Why did you stop?"
"Stop what?"
"Stop trying to get her into bed. Back when you first took over UCOS, you were always asking her out, but then you just seemed to give up. Why?" Robert had to fight the urge to sprint for the door, "I mean, there were times when I wanted to punch your lights out for even looking at her, but then.. nothing, you just stopped." Gerry looked at his boss, the open honesty in his eyes forced Robert to answer.
"My wife had left me for someone else, she took my children and poisoned them against me. Christy just used me then threw me away, then Sandra made it very clear that she wouldn't go out with me if I was the last man on earth. That was the last straw, it was easier to keep people at arms length. They can't hurt you if you don't let them in."
"So you're just going to stay as you are, you're not even going to try anymore?"
"Gerry, if I couldn't get her to notice me back then, what chance do I stand now. Back then, my hair wasn't greying, I didn't have as many lines, and I didn't have to watch everything I ate. I wasn't a boring old man." He cast his gaze over to the woman sat at the table, laughing at the banter going on between the other two men sat at the table. "Look at her, she's as beautiful now as she was nine years ago. What would she ever see in me?" He took a drink of his pint. "I think I'll call it a night, leave you all to enjoy yourselves." He cast his eyes down towards the surface of the bar, His face a picture of utter dejection. Gerry felt sorry for the man. He slapped his boss affectionally on the shoulder.
"You want to know what I think? I think you need to tell her how you feel, and if she gives you the brush off, well you havn't lost a thing. But I'll tell you this, If you don't talk to her now, you never will. This could be your last chance." Robert shook his head.
"That wouldn't be fair. This decision has been hard enough for her without me adding to it."
"You can't go. This is how the evening is going to pan out, Dan is about to go home. Steve and me will probably get rat arsed and end up at some girly club, which leaves you to look after our Sandra." He took a sip of his pint, using his tongue to remove the frothy moustache from his upper lip. "So here's what's going to happen, you're going to take our girl for a bloody good meal, and you can grow a pair and tell her what she need's to hear, because if you don't, she'll go for good, and you'll regret not telling her. Now, come back to the table, let's all have this last drink together."
/
Danny left soon after, telling them that Holly had cooked for him and it would be more than his life was worth to be late. Sandra went with him to the exit to say a private goodbye, she felt she owed him that, she'd bought him on board and was now leaving before she'd really got to know him. He gave Sandra a shy hug.
"I know I havn't been here long, but in the few weeks I've been a part of UCOS, I've really enjoyed working for you. Good luck."
"Thank's Danny. Look after them for me. Especially Gerry, he's been in from the start, I'm worried about him."
"I'm not. Gerry will be alright, it's the other one which concerns me."
"Steve?"
"No, Mr Strickland. He's been very quiet tonight, and I saw both Steve and Gerry talking to him earlier. He's been with you a long time as well hasn't he?" Sandra nodded sadly.
"Yes, he has. UCOS had only been going about eleven months when he took over. He's been with us through a lot."
"He doesn't seem to socialise much. Does he have a family or anything?" Danny inquired, looking past her shoulder at the man sat quietly at the table, listening to the banter between Gerry and Steve. Sandra turned and followed Danny's gaze. She shook her head.
"No, he hasn't. His wife left him and took his children. He doesn't get to see them any more. He's all alone." Her voice was quiet, suddenly realising that fact had shaken her.
"That's why I'm worried about him. But I'll keep an eye on him. Goodnight Sandra."
"Night Danny. I'll miss you. You may not have been here long, but you've made an impression." He smiled and nodded, then headed out the door. Sandra turned only to find Gerry and Steve standing in front of her.
"We're going to get out of the way now, we're going to go and get completely pissed in an attempt to dampen down the despair we're both feeling at you abandoning us." Sandra smiled, the twinkle in Gerry's eye told her he was pulling her leg.
"Go on, like you need any excuse." She countered with a grin. She turned to Steve.
"I'm going to miss you. You've been a breath of fresh air, Thank you." She felt her eyes misting up. He grinned.
"Come 'ere." He pulled her into a bear hug. "Your not leaving the planet, there will be phones. Call us." He released her and gave her a smile. "I'll wait outside, I might spoil this hard glaswegian image by crying." She laughed and watched the door swing shut. She turned to Gerry, she opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come, tears started to fall down her face. Gerry saw and pulled her into an embrace.
"Shhhh, it's alright. Steve's right, you can call us whenever you want, and visit whenever you're in this part of the world. I'll keep an eye on your Mum, we all will. Now, no more tears, or you'll set me off, and you don't want to spoil your makeup, if you do he won't be able to take you out for dinner." Sandra looked over to where Gerry was indecating, she saw Strickland sitting alone at the table.
"Now, it's my idea for him to take you out, please go with him. He's got some stuff he needs to say, but if you give him a chance he'll chicken out. Don't let 'im."
"You're the last man standing now." She told him. "I'll be thinking of you, wherever I go. Look after them."
"I will. You be carefull! I'll miss you Sandra Pullman."
"I'll miss you Gerard Lestade." She laughed as he pulled a face. They hugged each other, neither really wanting the moment to end, but eventually they released each other and Gerry left, desperate to keep her from seeing the tears forming in his eyes. He met Steve who was waiting outside.
"Come on. I want to get pissed. He told the scot.
/
Sandra watched the door swing shut and headed back to the table, she could see the man sitting there was nervous, she sat down opposite him.
"Gerry mentioned a meal.." She didn't want to let Robert get cold feet, she knew this was important, she had seen it in Gerry's eyes.
"Yes, but if you don't want to...I'd understand." She could see real fear in his eyes, what she didn't know was whether he was afraid she would turn him down, like she had every other time he had asked her out, or whether he was afraid she would actually accept.
"No, I'd like that."
"Really?" He looked surprised. She gave him a smile.
"Yes, I would. And I want to say sorry for the way I told you I was leaving. I really wanted to tell you in private, I didn't mean to blurt it out the way I did." He looked down at the table.
"That's alright, this day was bound to come sooner or later, and well, since Jack left us, it was really only a matter of time. I'm a bit jealous really, you're going to get to travel all over the world and really make a difference." He smiled, "Not that you didn't make a difference here, but this is so much bigger."
"It's a bit scary, I mean, I've been in one place for so long, what if I can't function out there any more?"
"You'll be brilliant!" He re-assured her, She beamed at him.
"What about you? I thought you had set your sights on commissioner." He shook his head.
"My bridges are well and truly burnt. Too many noses put out of joint over the years. I'm going nowhere." She looked at him, slightly shocked.
"What do you mean?" She asked quietly.
"Someone has to be held responsible. I'm top of the tree, the buck stops with me." He finished his pint. "Enough of this though. Since you've agreed to spend this last evening in my company, I'm at least going to treat you to a meal you won't forget. Give you something to remember me by." He stood and held out his hand, "Will you please dine with me tonight?" She smiled, taking the offered hand.
"It will be my pleasure." She replied.
/
It was gone ten o/clock when they emerged from the restaurant, and Sandra had never been so thoroughly wined and dined in her life. Her companion held open the door of the taxi he had called for them. She shuffled over to let him in. He scooted in next to her, giving the driver her address. She gave him a bright smile.
"That was amazing, Sir. Thank you."
"You don't work for me anymore, remember. Please call me Rob, if that's too big a jump, then Robert is fine." He smiled back. "And you're very welcome." They traveled in silence for a while. Sandra let out a small shiver, the driver had his window open and the air had turned quite chilly. Robert felt the shiver. He tapped the man on the shoulder.
"I don't suppose you could close the window a bit could you?" He asked politely, the man smiled in the mirror.
"Sorry guv, but the last bloke who was in here reaked of booze, I'm trying to get rid of the smell. I can close it half way."
"That's fine, thank you." He sat back. "Are you still cold?" he asked her. She shook her head.
"I'm fine, It's not that far." He put her arm up so she could sit closer.
"No tricks. Just take a bit of my warmth." He told her, she smiled and shuffled closer, he put his arm around her shoulders, she sighed and layed her head on his shoulder.
"Thank you." She whispered.
The rest of the jurney was made in silence, Sandra enjoying the closeness of the warm body, staving off the chill of the night. Robert just tried to focus on anything but the relaxed hand which was resting on his thigh.
They drew up outside Sandra's flat, they both got out of the taxi. Rob told the driver to wait and walked Sandra to her door. He watched as she put the key in the lock, opening the front door. He took a breath, needing to say something before she shut the door on him forever.
"I'm going to miss you Sandra. More than you know." His voice broke, making her turn to look at him, she could see the raw emotion in his eyes which he was trying desperately to keep hidden.
"Gerry said you had something to tell me, and to make sure you did." She whispered. He shook his head.
"It wouldn't be fair. I've left it too late, and now you're leaving, It would only cause us both pain." He looked away, unable to bare to look into her eyes. She put her hand to his face, turning it back towards her. The intensity in his eyes burned her, the look of despair cut into her heart.
"Please." She begged. "Send the taxi on his way, come in and talk to me." He looked unsure, "Please."
He nodded and walked back to the car. He had to fight the urge to get in and head for the hills, but he paid the driver and thanked him for waiting. He watched the car drive away and looked back to the figure waiting in the doorway. 'What the hell am I doing?' He asked himself as he walked slowly back towards the warm light of the open doorway.
He followed her inside and slipped his jacket off, hanging it over the back of a chair, he loosened his tie and undid the collar of his shirt, he didn't know what to do, he found himself out of his depth for the first time in a long time. Sandra could sense his discomfort, it worried her slightly, she had an inkling of what he wanted to say, she knew he had feelings for her, she had known for a long time, but there had always been obstacles in their way. She smiled re-assuringly at him.
"Just talk to me. What's the worst that can happen."
"There are several possibilities. I tell you how I feel about you, then you either tell me you feel the same, and we are both left broken hearted, you let me down gently, and I leave broken hearted, or you tell me to get lost, and I leave broken hearted. None of these options are looking very appealing from my point of view. You are going to leave, that is the only thing I am certain of at this moment, and no matter what I say, that is going hurt like hell... I love you Sandra Pullman, I can't help it, and I can't stop it, and I'm sorry that I've been too much of a coward to tell you before." He stopped and looked at his feet. He felt spent, he had told her, after nine years, he had finally said the words. He waited for some kind of response from the woman who had haunted his dreams for so long. After a few moments of silence he looked up at her, she was standing motionless, staring at him, tears streaming down her face. "Shit! I'm sorry, I knew this was a bad idea, I've just made things worse for everybody, as usual. I'll go, I should never have come out with you all tonight." He grabbed his jacket and was almost at the door before she stopped him.
"Wait! Please." Her voice was quiet. He stopped, but kept his back to her, he couldn't turn around, he couldn't risk seeing her cry, he knew that would break him.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"Please don't go. Have a drink, just sit with me for a while. I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet."
He returned to her, laying his jacket back over the chair, she indecated for him to make himself comfortable on the sofa, she poured two glasses of wine and sat down next to him.
"When will you start interviewing to fill my job?" She asked quietly, he shrugged.
"As soon as possible. UCOS needs a serving officer, otherwise it has no more authority that a PI agency. I won't be appointing the first person who comes along though, I'll find the right person. Gerry has already put in his order." She laughed.
"Let me guess, young, female and pretty."
"Pretty much. He did mention leggy and blonde as well."
"Sounds about right. What will happen in the meantime, a temporary supervisor." He shook his head.
"No. I'll take post untill we get someone permanent."
She sat back and thought about somebody else sitting at her desk, she was a bit surprised that it didn't bother her as much as she thought.
"In the back of the bottom drawer of the left hand filing cabinet you'll find the swear box. I hid it, it was costing me a bloody fortune." She told him. He looked at her then let out a laugh. She smiled, running a finger along his jawline. "I've never seen you laugh before." She said. "Not properly." He looked at her, his eyes glistening.
"God, I am going to miss you so much." He caressed the side of her face. She leaned towards him and pressed her lips to his. He responded, pileing years of repressed love into the moment." She pulled back.
"Stay tonight." She told him, he smiled.
"I don't want to do anything we'll regret."
"I think I'll regret letting you leave." She answered. She stood and held out her hand, he took it and stood to follow her, she led him towards her bedroom, and for the first time in twenty four hours she was sure of something.
This was right.
/
She awoke a few hours later, her head pillowed on his chest. She could hear his heart beating in his chest. They had made love well into the night, both determined to take advantage of this last chance. She looked up at his face and found him watching her.
"Have you been to sleep at all?" She asked. He shook his head.
"I don't want to miss a second. I want to remember this night."
She snuggled against him.
"I'm changing jobs, I may be travelling to other countries, but this is my home, and I'll be coming back. And as Steve pointed out, there are phones. I'm not disappearing off the face of the earth. And do you know something?" He kissed the top of her head.
"What my love?"
"You've given me a reason to keep coming home. I love you Robert, and every moment we are apart, I'll be thinking of you."
"I'll be here. Whenever you need me, I'll be waiting."
She kissed him again.
"I Know."
/
(Two months later)
Sandra looked into the large pit in front of her. The croatian sun beat mercilessly down on the little group excavating the bodies from the mass grave she was staring into. She turned and walked back to the camp which had been set up to investigate. She walked into the currently desserted command centre and poured herself a coffee from the machine. She started slightly as her assisstant tapped her on the shoulder.
"The post has arrived. This came for you, special delivery.
"Thank you Nicole." She took the little package from the Polish girl stood at her shoulder.
"Is it from him?" She asked, Sandra rolled her eyes. Her team all knew about her policeman boyfriend in London, Sandra had flown home to see him several times, to steal weekends with him whenever possible.
"Probably." She undid the package. A small box fell into her hand. She knew what it was straight away, tears sprang into her eyes as she read the little note attached.
Dear Sandra, I wanted to wait until we were together again, but I can't. Please accept this, and I promise I'll ask properly the next time I see you. Rob xxx
She opened the box. A gold ring with a setting of diamonds and sapphires greeted her she took the ring and slipped it onto her ring finger, it glistened in the light.
"Oh, it is beautiful. It is a proposal, yes?"
"Yes it is." Sandra whispered.
"Are you going to accept?" Nicole asked.
"Yes I am, the very next time I get to speak to him." She heard Nicole giggle. Sandra looked at the girl. "Something funny?" Nicole indecated that she should turn around, Sandra felt a lump come into her throat, she turned to find Rob standing by the door.
"Did I forget to mention. The package was delivered by hand."
Sandra ran into the arms of the waiting man. He held her tight before releasing her and stepping back. He went down onto one knee and held her hand, the ring twinkling.
"Sandra Pullman, will you marry me?" He asked, she smiled the brightest smile in her life as tears ran down her face.
"Yes, I will."
/
Author's note; Sorry, I had to give them a happy ending. xxx