First time writing for the series, so I hope I did it justice. I'd like to write more, so if anyone has any fic requests, PM me.
The warrior doesn't mourn the dead until the war is over.
Octavia clutches Lincoln's journal to her chest, tears stinging her eyes. If she's honest with herself, she's been close to breaking for what feels like forever, but she's kept it together because she is a warrior.
But the war is over. Octavia can feel the grief heavy in her bones. Clarke has saved the day yet again, and everyone is supposed to be able to breathe now.
But how can she breathe when she feels like she's suffocating?
Her grip on the journal loosens and she looks around the cave. It is isn't much- primitive by the Ark's standards- but it had been his home. It had been where she had first really seen him.
"Lincoln," she whispers, and tears cling to her lashes.
She hears footsteps behind her, and she looks up, almost expecting Lincoln to be there.
"Thought I'd find you here," Bellamy says.
"I can't go back," Octavia whispers.
"O, come home," her brother insists, resting his hand on her shoulder.
Octavia pulls away. She's trying to forgive him, but all she can see when she looks at Bellamy is Pike's gun to Lincoln's head and Lincoln falling into the mud. Bellamy hadn't pulled the trigger, but he had enabled the fingers that had.
"Lincoln was my home," she says stubbornly.
"Come back," Bellamy sighs. "Please."
Octavia thinks back to all those times Bellamy has protected her. She remembers looking at him in wonder as he would describe the view beyond the Ark's windows. Once upon a time, he had been all she'd had, all she'd needed.
But things have changed. "I don't have a home to come back to," she says, clinging to the journal again.
"You have me," Bellamy says, and she pushes past him. "O, wait!"
But she doesn't stop; she doesn't look back.
Octavia doesn't know where to go. She doesn't know if she even belongs anywhere anymore. But she allows her legs to carry her in any direction, her tears finally flowing freely.