Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

Author's Notes

Something silly for the New Year, inspired by HeartofFyrwinde (characters based on my Star Trek AU)

Slightly M rated

Spock (in observation mode)

I am married to a kohmin. Some will say happily so, I prefer to state that my marital relationship with Nyota Uhura gives me great contentment and much pleasure. At times there are cultural clashes and misunderstandings. This is to be expected, even if we were the same species or even from the same region. One of these differences occurs at this time of the Earth calendar. Uhura does not understand why I remove Christmas wrapping paper in a dexterous manner, instead of placing it in the recycling unit. She will receive an answer tonight in our quarters, when I reveal my wrapped body for her as a New's year gift, once this prolonged celebration that the Captain insisted I attend is over. In fact we have stayed here long enough, 1 hour and 17 minutes. It is time to go. I have no desire to sing an ancient Scottish song at the stroke of midnight. I would rather be stroking my adun'a.

Kirk & Marcus (testing the punch)

Marcus - "Wha ish dish?"

Kirk- "This ish gree..ah boo ah. Thiss ees good shit."

Kirk – "Scotty de..de..deserves a raise"

Marcus – "You can..can raish me on your"..(points between his legs)

Kirk - "Ish dat a prop…propo….proposeeshum Lootenut"?…

Marcus – "I I Keptan"

(Hiss of detox hypospray)

Kirk- "Let's go" (grabs Marcus' hand)

McCoy (nursing a drink)

Granny McCoy did warn me. She said marriage to an alien will be a challenge. Her precise words 'Lenny boy, hope you no what ya doing, she got a pretty face but she still has pointy ears." Tell me about it. Our first Christmas and my new wife volunteers, volunteer's dammit, for night watch on New Year's eve.

Led to our first big fight. We agreed to mutually respect each other's culture, that's the only way this marriage is going to work, but what does she go and say 'New Year's Eve is an artificial construct based on an ancient Earth calender'. I suppose including a few ancient Anglo Saxon words in my reply did not help the situation. Oh Gosh, she gone and shut down the fuckin bond, can't even have a mind chat..Oh godammit who's that on the comm?

Comm message to Lt Cmdr McCoy – Husband, my shift is over, do you still require my presence at the gathering? (Picture attached)

Her shift is over huh? Good, maybe she swapped with someone. Wonder why she sent me a picture? (pauses in shock) What the fuck!

Comm message to Lt T'Shira – Stay right there honey! Don't move, I'm coming home, and later we'll both be coming. ;o)

Scotty (rubs hands together)

Now this is what I call A Party! A touch of Risian and Aldebaran whisky to liven things up, none of that baby milk eggnog. I love this ship, it's so exciting! Hey, what's that Keenser doing talking to my Charlene? Hey Charlie, ma bonnie lass, step away from that mistletoe!

Happy New year to all writers, readers and reviewers!

VLD

Kohmin- human

adun'a - wife