The streets of London were still adorned in the Christmas decorations from the recent holiday season; which seemed incredible tacky and lazy, even for muggles, as the clock tower slowly counted down the strokes until the New Year. The ornaments twinkled from the streetlights and in garlands above the roads, connecting all the buildings together in a beautiful array of holiday cheer.
Pansy sighed as she stared at a Christmas tree lit up all silver, dangling from a bookshop's sign. She reached into her pocket with her gloved fingers and pulled out a cigarette before she continued down the deserted street.
What a time to be alive, she mused to herself, as she stuck the end of the cigarette between her pale lips. She had never imagined the day that she would wander about the muggle community; having been forced from her home when her parents were convicted of being active Death Eaters after the Second Wizarding War.
She brushed a strand of jet-black hair from her forehead and glanced along the sidewalk, which were crawling with tipsy teenagers as they wandered from pub to pub in an attempt to find the perfect location to celebrate the start of the New Year. Or, realistically, the end of the current one. For once the start of the New Year arrives, and they are forced to go back to their mundane jobs and their ordinary lives, they will realize that each "New Year" is exactly the same as the last.
Turning a corner, she stopped short when a gaggle of young women toppled past her, giggling and apologizing, adorned in their short black dresses and headdresses.
"Piss off," Pansy muttered under her breath, sure that they had not heard her as they pranced off in a flurry of rosy cheeks and smiles.
Pansy watched them go a ways before she turned on the heels of her dragon-hide heels and continued on. She had no idea of where she was going, or what she was expecting to find once she had arrived, but she knew that she could not spend the last moments of the year trapped in that tiny apartment in Diagon Alley with her aunt; whom she had moved in with once her parents were taken to Azkaban.
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a lighter and proceeded to light the tip of cigarette. Little snowflakes rushed by her and dotted her nose, snuffing out her flame immediately.
She huffed angrily, stopping on the Westminster Bridge and cupping her hands protectively over the tip of her cigarette as she tried to relight it. The flame caught and she forced a drag before she stuffed her lighter into her pocket and tightened the band around her pea coat.
She glanced at the Palace of Westminster while taking a drag from her cigarette and watched the clock on the tower tick down the moments until midnight. There was still a half an hour until the fireworks and celebrations.
"I would have never taken you to be a smoker."
Pansy froze, the cigarette half way to her mouth suddenly stilled. She knew that voice. She would have been able to recognize it from anywhere. It was a voice she had grown accustomed to in her younger years, and had almost completely forgot about had she not just been reminded of it right now.
At first her body stilled with shock, but slowly it came. The anger she had felt towards him for months came rushing back through her blood, turning her hot and making her cheeks blush.
After a moment, she brought the cigarette to her lips and took another slow drag before she exhaled and then pursed her lips together in distaste.
"I would have never taken you to be such a coward."
She turned to glance over her shoulder, and the shock of seeing him almost knocked her off of her feet. But she kept her composer, thrusting her chin into the sky and squaring her shoulders.
"Is there something you wanted, Malfoy?"
He stared her down from the bridge, where he was leaning against the snowy banister, his hands tucked deep inside the pockets of his coat and a scar wrapped tightly around his slender neck. His white-blond hair was rumpled and wind-blown and his pale cheeks were tinted with color. He stood as composed as he had ever been, but she knew the truth about him. She knew that he wasn't who he seemed to be.
"Where did you pick that up?" His chin motioned towards the cigarette grasped between her fore and middle finger.
She glanced down at it, not having realized that she had practically been crushing it under the intensity of her grasp. She forced her fingers to loosen their grip before she looked up at him, catching his eyes and refusing to let them fall.
"That's really none of your business."
He stayed quiet for a while, and she could see the gears moving behind his pale eyes. He shrugged a shoulder. "Considering we have been friends for most of our lives-"
"We were friends." She snapped, flicking the ashes from the tip of her cigarette and crossing an arm across her abdomen. She hadn't expected to him tonight; hadn't expected to see him every again actually. Once he fled from the war, from his friends, she didn't want to see him.
She had always known Draco for who he was, a slightly cowardice boy who hid behind the power of his family name and his pureblood heritage, but she had never expected him to abandon his friends, especially after what had happened to Goyle in the Room of Requirements that night.
His eyes pierced into her as he stared her down and a long moment of silence passed by before he finally spoke again. "But we aren't anymore?"
"I don't consider you my friend." She said right back without missing a beat. He nodded his head, as though he were trying to understand some intricate equation. "Friends don't abandon each other.
"You think I abandoned you?"
She saw the way his jaw tensed up, and it gave her the familiar satisfaction that she used to get in school; when she knew that she could push his buttons and he could do nothing about it.
"I know you did."
Another long pause drifted between them and she watched as he glanced down at the tips of his dress shoes. She took another drag from her cigarette, trying hard to hold onto her anger. But she could feel it slipping. She hadn't seen him in almost a year, and though the media followed the Malfoy's every move during the trials, there had never been any talk of the youngest Malfoy in any of the tabloids.
"I didn't mean to Pans."
She exhaled sharply through her nose, clenching her teeth together. "You didn't mean to?"
"Oh Pans come off it, it's not like you had to fight anybody,"
"Neither did you." She let the cigarette fall to the snowy sidewalk before grinding it down with the toe of her heel. "My parents are in Azkaban you know,"
"Pans…"
"While yours are off still living in their mansion of glory,"
"That's not my fault."
"No, I guess it's not your problem either."
His eyes glanced back down at his shoes and he seemed to shove his hands deeper into his pockets, but she had no time for pity anymore. She turned around and began to walk away, and she heard his voice say something but she wasn't able to catch it before a taxi rushed past, uplifting a puddle and splashing her front end. She jerked backwards with a yelp, instantly chilled to the bone.
"Pans,"
She heard his feet crunching in the snow towards her. Flicking her hair from her face, she tightened her band again and huffed in exhaustion. "I'm fine," she snapped, feeling the tears prick at the corners of her eyes.
A hand touched her shoulder and she jerked away, momentarily losing her balance. Draco's hands reached out for her and she shoved them away as hard as she could, struggling to catch her balance.
"I said I'm fine, can't you hear?" she snapped, brushing her stray strands back and wiping at her face.
"Pans…"
"Why do you have to be such a coward! People were looking to you for guidance, we were expecting you to be able to tell us what to do-"
"You think I don't know that Pans?" He yelled, the vein in his forehead popping out. "Everyone was expecting things from me. You don't know what that's like-"
"Oh, bullshit! I do know what it was like Draco, I fought in that same war. I was on the same side as you."
His lips pursed together into a tight line and she could see that he was resisting the urge to shout something at her. She pressed on, feeling the tears cascade down her cheeks one by one the more she yelled.
"My parents expected a lot from me too Draco. You weren't the only Pureblood who was expected to live through hell and still had like everything was fine. You weren't the only one whose families were close-knitted with You-Know-Who and you weren't the only one who had duties given to you by him. We all lived through the same war. Crabbe, Goyle, me, Blaise, Theodore, we were all there. Unlike you, however, we didn't vanish into thin air before the battle started, and our families and homes weren't saved by the good words and grace of Harry Potter."
He looked away again and it boiled her blood to the point where she couldn't even see straight.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" She reached out and hit his shoulder and he stumbled, and the act felt so good that she did it again. She extended her arm back and hit his other shoulder. This time his old Seeker reflexes kicked in and he grabbed her flailing arms before she had the chance to hit him again.
"Pansy would you just calm down for a second?" he spat through gritted teeth, gripping her wrists tightly with his fingers.
"Is there a problem here?"
Draco's grasp was immediately gone and Pansy took a step back, running a hand through her hair and glancing towards the bobby that stood a few paces away from them. She cleared her throat, reaching a hand up and dabbing away at the tears that had escaped her eyes.
"Everything is fine," she muttered, refusing to look Draco's way. The bobby hesitated a moment, glancing between the two of them.
"Are you sure?" he seemed skeptical about the two of them, and Pansy could see the paranoid look that began to form in Draco's eyes. The look that never really left him since their Sixth year.
"Yes, I'm sure. Thank you." She tried to sound calm as she wrapped her arms tightly around herself. The bobby gave them one last look before he wished them a happy New Year and continued on his way.
Silence engulfed the two purebloods as they waited for the sounds of his feet crunching in the thin layer of snow to disappear before Draco spoke up.
"I never intended to abandon you, Pansy."
She turned on her heels, and she heard in the distance the yells of people celebrating at a few pubs down the road. The clock struck midnight and the chimes echoed into the night air.
"Pans…"
Pansy froze and she debated for a long moment before she reached into her pocket and pulled out another cigarette. She stuck in between her lips before she glanced over her shoulder at him. She had to have one last look.
He watched her with his crystal eyes, his hair a mess atop his head and the scarf wound loosely around his neck. He was the love of her life, and it pained her to know that he was the way he was.
"Prove it." She said, before she turned away and began to walk back the way she had come.